It felt like I didn't matter and that kids didn't like me. Isolated. Bullied.

I never went back for even one school reunion.

I never told anyone when it happened in middle school. I hid during lunch, didn't eat. I was new to the school and had no friends. Most of the attention was from bullies. I had to wait to walk home from school because the bullies would harass me on my way home. I never said a word about it to my parents - who were out of their minds with their own problems. They never asked.

Anonymous wrote:I was that kid and yeah it was probably the worst part of all high school. Sometimes I would use the bathroom, visit other teachers or study.

Same and I have never told anyone, not even my mom, DH or kids.

You don’t mention if he has friends or a best friend so I will assume that part of his life seems OK.
At his age I preferred time alone in the middle of school, it was long before I learned meditation or anything restorative. The classroom was full of pressure and sometimes chaos, so just sitting quietly without having to talk or listen was a break I really needed. I took time alone from probably third grade to eighth.
I had a neighborhood best friend, I had a little bit of a social life outside of school but the racket in the hallways and the intensity of the classroom was sometimes just too much and I needed 40 minutes of quiet.
Plus, through no immediate fault if their own kids are sometimes a$$holes and we need a break from them, your son may have recognized this early.

Anonymous wrote:The school should have intervened. There shouldn’t have been empty tables like that. My son went to a new high school that was huge. He had a learning disability with severe anxiety.They had a specific program for kids with this disability and had comfortable room with couches and activities and the kids could be there for all of their free time. A lot of the kids including my son ate lunch there. Schools should be aware of students social needs too.

+1 OP, that school failed your kid. There should be lunch bunch tables, meet new friends tables, etc.

My 5th grade son was also eating alone every day but I found out around October. I spoke with his teacher and asked for help and she arranged for him to sit with a few other kids who were also eating alone. Would you believe they are all friends now! I got to chaperone their group at a field trip last week and they were chatting away.
This is a situation where I think a mom should intervene as discreetly as possible. No one should be lonely like that.

In middle school I went to the library on my lunch hour because I had nobody to sit with. Nobody wanted me at their table. It sucked but I was used to being hated by then.

Anonymous wrote:The school should have intervened. There shouldn’t have been empty tables like that. My son went to a new high school that was huge. He had a learning disability with severe anxiety.They had a specific program for kids with this disability and had comfortable room with couches and activities and the kids could be there for all of their free time. A lot of the kids including my son ate lunch there. Schools should be aware of students social needs too.

100%

I ate alone in the library my first year of high school. It sucked, but I am a normal person with lots of friends now. I don't think I ever told my parents. It would not have occurred to me.

Is he at a very small school? Will the school change next year? Does he have friends he hags out with outside of school? I would speak to the counselor if he will be at the same school next year.

Anonymous wrote:I remembering avoiding the 10th grade class trip Wildwood (high school was in NJ) because I didn't want to sit on the bus alone or hang out alone once I was there.

I remember deliberately being absent on swim lesson day. my middle school had a mandatory swim test in 8th grade. The pool was located at the high school and the whole 8th grade went to do the swim test together.

Although I wasn’t overweight, I was extremely uncomfortable with myself and had no friends and just knew it would be awful. I would be sitting alone and I couldn’t take it. So I stayed home saying I was sick and then went on the makeup day which obviously was a much smaller more manageable group.

OP this really depends on your kid. Does he have friends? Is he socially well-adjusted? If yes, then he is just someone who needs to decompress at lunch and it's not a big deal. I eat lunch alone every day, too. I hide from my coworkers to avoid a pity invite-I just want an hour to sit and read!

If he has trouble generally with making and keeping friends, or is lonely, then you should talk to a professional about helping him with his social skills.

Either way, forced friendships are unlikely to help the situation unless your main concern is making yourself feel better.

The school should have intervened. There shouldn’t have been empty tables like that. My son went to a new high school that was huge. He had a learning disability with severe anxiety.They had a specific program for kids with this disability and had comfortable room with couches and activities and the kids could be there for all of their free time. A lot of the kids including my son ate lunch there. Schools should be aware of students social needs too.

I really don't understand how a teacher or lunch aid wouldn't try to address this somehow. Do they just stay out of it? I know forcing people to sit with other people or teachers makes it worse... but really I would intervene.

It was horrible. Like a few others have said upthread, I am happy now and have friends and am married and all that.

I worry about the kid sitting alone and having to make it through to adult life, not really knowing if it will be better and with that adolescent impulsiveness. Like you, I tried to kill myself multiple times.

I would try to arrange an area/ activity where your kid can work and achieve, like art, or a sport like running (good for working out anxiety) or archery. Something where conversation may happen with others in the same activity, or not, but it's ok either way. That sense of achieving and having a routine area in life that gives a belonging and purposeful feeling, is helpful. I know that description may sound like church, but I really REALLY hated church at that age. Seemed like all the other kids were hypocrites and much better liked than I was.

I was that kid and yeah it was probably the worst part of all high school. Sometimes I would use the bathroom, visit other teachers or study.