Anonymous
06/04/2026 10:00
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
They also need to know what to look for. Sheesh people.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 09:45
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
Anonymous wrote:
OP, you're nuts. You "feel" that people who ask are trying to minimize allergies, despite all the posters saying the exact opposite. Go ahead and be offended, I guess, but I don't see how that's helpful.
There examples were all related to having someone in their home, not related to idle chatter. That's the difference.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 08:58
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
My daughter has cold urticaria including anaphlaxsis. It's a nightmare for people to wrap their brains around.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 08:45
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
I have two girls with peanut and tree nut allergies, and one nephew with the same.
Both my girls cannot ingest peanuts or tree nuts, but they can sit at the same lunch table as someone eating a peanut butter sandwich.
My nephew cannot.
Do you not get that people are trying to keep your kids both safe, and included to the extent possible?
My family and friends have asked about the severity and/or I offer information about the severity, so they know things like yes, their kids could eat a piece of bakery birthday cake near my kids, even though my kids may need to bring an alternate cake/cupcake to the party.
Communication.
Both my girls cannot ingest peanuts or tree nuts, but they can sit at the same lunch table as someone eating a peanut butter sandwich.
My nephew cannot.
Do you not get that people are trying to keep your kids both safe, and included to the extent possible?
My family and friends have asked about the severity and/or I offer information about the severity, so they know things like yes, their kids could eat a piece of bakery birthday cake near my kids, even though my kids may need to bring an alternate cake/cupcake to the party.
Communication.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 08:41
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
Anonymous wrote:OP here... to all of the responders saying you need to know so you would know how much to clean or what to serve, I am not talking about going to someone's home. I am talking about people using this as casual chatter at the playground. No food is being served. And for those who say severities vary, maybe but you also cannot say when or where an allergy can become more severe. My DC was previously able to go inside middle eastern restaurants and one day, we went inside to buy tamarind juices and he started getting hives just from sesame being in the air. It is not a think that is set and stays, it is always changing. That is why you should always be vigilant and never treat allergies flippantly which is what I feel people asking about severity are trying to do.
OP, you're nuts. You "feel" that people who ask are trying to minimize allergies, despite all the posters saying the exact opposite. Go ahead and be offended, I guess, but I don't see how that's helpful.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 08:33
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
OP here... to all of the responders saying you need to know so you would know how much to clean or what to serve, I am not talking about going to someone's home. I am talking about people using this as casual chatter at the playground. No food is being served. And for those who say severities vary, maybe but you also cannot say when or where an allergy can become more severe. My DC was previously able to go inside middle eastern restaurants and one day, we went inside to buy tamarind juices and he started getting hives just from sesame being in the air. It is not a think that is set and stays, it is always changing. That is why you should always be vigilant and never treat allergies flippantly which is what I feel people asking about severity are trying to do.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 07:42
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you're being oversensitive, and your answer is downplaying the severity. People ask because they want to know how vigilant they need to be. Can they have you over? Can their kid eat a peanut snack at the same table as your kid, or is even that too risky? Etc.
I mean why on earth would you allow your kid to eat a peanut snack at the same table with an allergic friend? You can’t figure out a simple alternative? I really don’t understand why severity would matter in a case like that where you want to walk on a knife’s edge despite knowing about a health issue of a friend.
Because kids that have had an anaphylactic reaction to something, are much mire likely to have another one, and it might be to something that isn’t yet a known allergen.
Anonymous
06/04/2026 06:04
Subject: Re:Asking about allergy severity
There is such a thing as a mild allergy. It often looks like negative scratch tests but positive IgE tests along with some observable reaction (like vomiting) when consuming the food. This is my son’s situation for fish and shellfish.
There is no such thing as a mild allergy. My daughter had a "mild" nut allergy that we thought just resulted in itching, then went into anaphylaxis from eating something with "processed in the same facility" language. And, as a PP noted, people can react with anaphylaxis to a food they have eaten many times. You never know how you will react, which is why you should carry EpiPens/AuviQ/Neffy and inject if there is one severe symptom or two mild symptoms.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 23:58
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
I ask because I want to know if I need to make sure that my kid's hands are clean if they had nuts earlier that day.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 23:55
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
You sound crazy. I’m asking to figure out if I need to get rid of all the peanut butter in my house or it it is ok that it is in my pantry. I am trying not to hurt a kid coming to my house. I’m not trying to say I don’t believe their allergy is a big deal.
For example, I learned when my daughter invited a new friend to our beach house that the kid was allergic to legumes. My kid takes chickpea curry a lot for lunch at school. I wanted to figure out if I needed my kid to stop bringing it to school because she now wanted to eat lunch with this kid. It ends up that this is perfectly fine, but I wasn’t going to make 3 bean chili for dinner on our winter beach weekend.
For example, I learned when my daughter invited a new friend to our beach house that the kid was allergic to legumes. My kid takes chickpea curry a lot for lunch at school. I wanted to figure out if I needed my kid to stop bringing it to school because she now wanted to eat lunch with this kid. It ends up that this is perfectly fine, but I wasn’t going to make 3 bean chili for dinner on our winter beach weekend.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 20:56
Subject: Re:Asking about allergy severity
Speaking as someone with allergies who has a child with allergies, you sound insane Op. you have to know that allergies can vary in severity. People want to know how cautious they need to be. Your kid has celiac or a wheat allergy? I know I won’t feed that to them, but do I need to potentially clean my kitchen? Or if it’s very severe and inhalation is a potential problem I should not host. People are trying to be considerate and keep your kid safe. We should all be so lucky.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 16:17
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
The alternative is they don’t ask you, assume you’re one of these “crazy allergy parents” and take no precautions at all. My daughter is severely allergic and I LOVE when parents ask about the severity because it means they understand that allergies are “a thing”.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 10:27
Subject: Re:Asking about allergy severity
I ask so that I know if I need to wipe things down to remove an allergen as best as possible. We don't have peanut or egg or milk allergies, if I know a kid has a really serious allergy I can wipe down the counters and spaces to limit the amount in the air. It also helps me to know to check if the child has epi pens on them so if something does happen, we can respond quickly and appropraitly.
And yes, a series of less serious reactions doens't mean that there won't be a bigger reaction but it does help me know how to prepare my house.
DS has one friend with some serious allergies, I appreciated his mom sending me a list of safe foods and snacks so we could have some of that in the house for when he comes over and visit.
And yes, a series of less serious reactions doens't mean that there won't be a bigger reaction but it does help me know how to prepare my house.
DS has one friend with some serious allergies, I appreciated his mom sending me a list of safe foods and snacks so we could have some of that in the house for when he comes over and visit.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 10:20
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
But if your kid has already had anaphylaxis with the particular food, then you *know* the allergy is severe.
Also there really are varying levels of severity. My niece had anaphylaxis from fish and was told airborne fish particles could trigger a similar. She’s been doing doctor-supervised exposure therapy and is now at the point where the doctor is not concerned about airborne contaminants. They’re hoping to get to the place where they don’t need to be concerned about cross-contamination either.
Also there really are varying levels of severity. My niece had anaphylaxis from fish and was told airborne fish particles could trigger a similar. She’s been doing doctor-supervised exposure therapy and is now at the point where the doctor is not concerned about airborne contaminants. They’re hoping to get to the place where they don’t need to be concerned about cross-contamination either.
Anonymous
06/03/2026 10:12
Subject: Asking about allergy severity
Anonymous wrote:I think you're being oversensitive, and your answer is downplaying the severity. People ask because they want to know how vigilant they need to be. Can they have you over? Can their kid eat a peanut snack at the same table as your kid, or is even that too risky? Etc.
I mean why on earth would you allow your kid to eat a peanut snack at the same table with an allergic friend? You can’t figure out a simple alternative? I really don’t understand why severity would matter in a case like that where you want to walk on a knife’s edge despite knowing about a health issue of a friend.