A kid stressing about wedding venue when she doesn’t even have a good prospect to marry is a full blown anxiety disorder. Not even remotely normal. Needs therapy asap.

OP - where is she in education graduating with college in three months or a rising senior with the stress of choosing the schools to apply to and all the work and deadlines involved. In both cases the idea of their first major life decision can be a real stressor and ignite the fuel of anxiety. Better to deal with the reality now while DD is at home. If a rising senior,
get the services if a private college search counselor to take some of the pressure iff off of both if you.
If she is off to college, then think fast and hard about starting with a discussion about trying a low dose medication and therapy with one who
deals with this age group.

I was like that too. Time helped.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, my daughter is definitely anxious, but the concerns she has are still real. She’s always been someone who likes things planned out and exactly the way she wants them, and she tends to think far ahead. She asks me about these issues constantly, wants more resources, and seems overwhelmed by figuring out where to even begin. She’s also very private, so she has no interest in therapy and isn’t comfortable with mediation, even in other situations.

You need to get her over this. If she's not willing to DO anything to get better - she won't get better. Allowing her to sit at home and spiral in her anxiety is not helping her.

This is an anxiety disorder most likely with OCD. When the "worry wolf" creeps in, most sentences begin with "What if..."

Get her off the internet and social media. She can’t handle it

It is stressful. She should know her good fortune in having parents who are willing to support her transition to adulthood. I was thrown out on my ass at 18 and had to figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, my daughter is definitely anxious, but the concerns she has are still real. She’s always been someone who likes things planned out and exactly the way she wants them, and she tends to think far ahead. She asks me about these issues constantly, wants more resources, and seems overwhelmed by figuring out where to even begin. She’s also very private, so she has no interest in therapy and isn’t comfortable with mediation, even in other situations.

Her concerns are real in the sense that they are real concerns that adults commonly deal with, but it is not normal for an 18yo to be spiraling about their future children. She needs therapy, badly, and this maybe your last opportunity to make her get help.

+1 and these issues are not going to go away. Even once you are married with kids you never know the future, everyone's health, financial stability, etc. Everyone has to learn to manage despite the uncertainty and rise to the challenges of the moment and also enjoy the good times without catastrophizing. This is a serious mental health issue that's not going to resolve without intervention.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, my daughter is definitely anxious, but the concerns she has are still real. She’s always been someone who likes things planned out and exactly the way she wants them, and she tends to think far ahead. She asks me about these issues constantly, wants more resources, and seems overwhelmed by figuring out where to even begin. She’s also very private, so she has no interest in therapy and isn’t comfortable with mediation, even in other situations.

I hear you that her fears are a continuation of how she has always been but it sounds like it is really getting worse and you are not fully seeing how not normal this is because you have been conditioned to see it as normal. Your daughter needs professional help. I get that she doesn’t want professional help but that is what she needs.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, my daughter is definitely anxious, but the concerns she has are still real. She’s always been someone who likes things planned out and exactly the way she wants them, and she tends to think far ahead. She asks me about these issues constantly, wants more resources, and seems overwhelmed by figuring out where to even begin. She’s also very private, so she has no interest in therapy and isn’t comfortable with mediation, even in other situations.

Her concerns are real in the sense that they are real concerns that adults commonly deal with, but it is not normal for an 18yo to be spiraling about their future children. She needs therapy, badly, and this maybe your last opportunity to make her get help.

What are you doing to help her manage this severe anxiety?

1. Is she going to college?
2. Does she want to breed before finishing college?
3. I was never even AWARE that 18 meant I was an adult since I wasn't oldcenough to drink who cared. She is seriously unhinged.

+1 to intensive therapy and possibly medication.

I’d also look things like:
- sleep
- exercise
- social media diet

All of those have a huge impact on mental health. How is her social life? Does she have plans this summer, like a job? She needs to find things to keep herself busy so she doesn’t have so much time to worry about problems she might have 10 years in the future.

OP here. Yes, my daughter is definitely anxious, but the concerns she has are still real. She’s always been someone who likes things planned out and exactly the way she wants them, and she tends to think far ahead. She asks me about these issues constantly, wants more resources, and seems overwhelmed by figuring out where to even begin. She’s also very private, so she has no interest in therapy and isn’t comfortable with mediation, even in other situations.

Man, she needs to take it one day or week at a time.

It’s fine to have long term goals and medium terms goals, but also have fun things to look FW to and go with the flow.