Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 18:21     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. Know more happy ones than unhappy ones.
Said literally everyone who was blindsided when my ex and I separated. We put up a great facade!


Unless you've really low EQ friends, likely they did know but let you maintain your facade.
Nope. You literally never, ever know. Just learned that happily married friends ...are divorcing. I didn't argue in public with my ex. Many people don't.


No need to argue. Body language tells a lot.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 18:20     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:This forum is really pathetic sometimes. "I know happy marriages".

"No you don't"
"They are lying to you"
"Your friends just don't tell you anything ".


+1
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 18:15     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You never know what’s truly going on in a family. When I decided to leave DH last year, all of our friends were surprised because I always “looked so happy” and they thought we are happy together.

On the other hand, people might vent to their friends making an impression of an unhappy couple but then they go home and feel quite good in general.


So you don't have any actual friends? Because I talk to mine about things we're going through. When I got divorced none of them were shocked.


Translation: I viciously gossiped about and criticized my husband to everyone in town.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 18:14     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. Know more happy ones than unhappy ones.
Said literally everyone who was blindsided when my ex and I separated. We put up a great facade!
With your friends, with each other, with yourselves.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 18:12     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:You never know what’s truly going on in a family. When I decided to leave DH last year, all of our friends were surprised because I always “looked so happy” and they thought we are happy together.

On the other hand, people might vent to their friends making an impression of an unhappy couple but then they go home and feel quite good in general.
LOL. Like you're a mind-reader and know what they're actually thinking, maybe they are fakers just like you. That would if course never occur to you would it
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 18:00     Subject: Bad marriages
Ones who display their love the most are usually the ones to hide their problems, nonchalant ones live happily without trying to proof it to themselves or to others.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 17:12     Subject: Re:Bad marriages
Lots of people would rather be married than divorced even if they are miserable.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 17:10     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. Know more happy ones than unhappy ones.
Said literally everyone who was blindsided when my ex and I separated. We put up a great facade!


Unless you've really low EQ friends, likely they did know but let you maintain your facade.
Nope. You literally never, ever know. Just learned that happily married friends ...are divorcing. I didn't argue in public with my ex. Many people don't.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 17:00     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. Know more happy ones than unhappy ones.
Said literally everyone who was blindsided when my ex and I separated. We put up a great facade!


Unless you've really low EQ friends, likely they did know but let you maintain your facade.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 16:57     Subject: Bad marriages
I feel like unhappiness of unhappy couples is at peak when kids are 0-5 and 13-18.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 16:55     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. Know more happy ones than unhappy ones.


Maybe they don’t tell you…


And unhappy ones do?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 16:54     Subject: Bad marriages
That's sad. I'm 58 and still quite happy with mine, although I do know a few couples who split as soon as the nest emptied.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 16:54     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. Know more happy ones than unhappy ones.


Same. I know more happy couples and comfortably content couples than unhappy or toxic ones.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 16:53     Subject: Bad marriages
This forum is really pathetic sometimes. "I know happy marriages".

"No you don't"
"They are lying to you"
"Your friends just don't tell you anything ".
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 16:53     Subject: Bad marriages
Anonymous wrote:I think I know more people with bad marriages than good ones. They stick it out - either indefinitely or for the time being but almost no one is happy with their spouses around age 50. All have their reasons and they’re all valid IMO.


How is this your problem? May be they aren't as happy as they would like but enough to be content.