In my group, there s this one senior doctor who is late 50 or early 60s years old. Immigrant from Middle East. Very type a personality.

He yelled at my medical assistant. She handle him very well, I think. She waited until he claimed down and said: This behavior doesn’t fly with me. This is not your house and I am not your wife. I won’t let it happen again.

He yelled at me once when he freaked out about something unreasonable . I told him to calm down and explained things calmly . In the meantime I keep all records in case I need to to go to HR.
He later apologized. I told him that please, no more tamper tantrum at work place. We are all grown up here.

That was the first time so I let go. If happen again , it’s a done deal. I have all the voice recordings. FYI I’m in a state that doesn’t require both party consent for recording.

I found a new job then quietly left. No regrets.

Job situations are rarely fixable.

I had a project manager (not my boss, but in charge of my day to day activities) who was a yeller. The project wasn't going well, and he'd take it out on us by screaming at our whole group. One day we were trying to explain an issue we were having, he kept interrupting to scream at us that we were just incompetent, and I finally lost it and screamed back at him to shut the f up and listen to what we had to say. It stunned him into a few minutes of silence and we got our explanation in.

We both got called in to HR the next day. But the rest of the team backed me up so I wasn't disciplined. I did get some counseling on how to effectively handle disputes, and I gather he did too.

Thankfully he moved on to another role, and eventually I got his old job as PM. I never yelled at my team.

Not saying my strategy was good (it goes against all of the training I received, and a less sympathetic HR might not have been so forgiving). But in my case it was effective. He was still a yeller, but he never yelled directly at me after that.

I wouldn’t yell back - could land you in trouble. The best thing is to not let your boss get a rise out of you. I’d let the boss finish their tirade and calmly sit there. And then say please don’t yell at me, then walk out saying nothing else even if the tirade includes questions to you, and then document what just occurred.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“It’s clear you aren’t in a good place right now. Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down”

Or yell at them back. I think this is the most effective.

Both of those reactions would get you terminated

You won’t. I’ve done it. Sometimes it takes mirroring behavior for people to recognize how insane it is.

We work at different places. People 100% get terminated once it's a screaming match, or if the CEO feels condescended to.

I'm not saying a screaming match. Don't engage past yelling back once. These a--wipes have to learn. Otherwise you're just passing on the problem to someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“It’s clear you aren’t in a good place right now. Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down”

Or yell at them back. I think this is the most effective.

Both of those reactions would get you terminated

You won’t. I’ve done it. Sometimes it takes mirroring behavior for people to recognize how insane it is.

We work at different places. People 100% get terminated once it's a screaming match, or if the CEO feels condescended to.

In my early 30's this happened to me and I ran out of the room and cried. I quit not long after that. In my late 40's this happened and I stared at her for a very uncomfortable period of time and said, "Are you finished?" And then I went about my business.

I would say, "have you stopped yelling at me?"

and then when things quiet down, if you need clarification ask for it, if it's needed re: any true actual task that needs doing.

I agree with pps, you can't make them stop. Best to bide your time until either they or you move to another department, location or job. It's not about you or your work. Your boss has poor emotional regulation and is unprofessional.

I need to know context. Are they berating and insulting? Or belligerently questioning? I don't think either is OK but both are really different.

A: You keep making mistakes! I sent this to the client and I looked like a fool! You are TERRIBLE at these numbers and you are messing up the point! AN IDIOT could do this!

B: Where did you submit the work work ticket? After that who looks at it? Do you have the tracking for the ticket? If you couldn't find it do you have someone that you asked? DO YOU HAVE A PROCESS TO DOCUMENT WHERE IT WENT? (this one in increasing agitation ending in yelling)

I'm curious.

when the boss yells, reply, are you doing OK?

I had a boss who intermittently yelled at people, including me. I worked for him for a long time primarily because the comp was right and the work was interesting. Most importantly, we were 100% remote and I could go for days without talking to him. But eventually I had to leave.

Talking to him about it would do nothing. He didn’t have control over himself in moments of stress, either personal or professional stress. It would be like talking to my dog about thunderstorms.

Anonymous wrote:Please give me some real life examples of how you dealt with a boss who yells at you and if anything changed after you confronted them. Is confronting them a good idea or will it make things worse?

Why are you putting up with this? My boss would only yell at me once.

You calmly tell them that yelling is not productive and you will be happy to speak with them like a professional when they’ve calmed down. Document everything. Look for another job. On your way out the door, report the behavior to HR and make it clear this is why you are leaving.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“It’s clear you aren’t in a good place right now. Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down”

Or yell at them back. I think this is the most effective.

Both of those reactions would get you terminated

You won’t. I’ve done it. Sometimes it takes mirroring behavior for people to recognize how insane it is.