Is the person who died your wife's son or daughter? Was she your daughter's sister?

they need help. you need help as well. if they won't go, bring MH care to the house. crisis support.

Are they on medication? This definitely requires the medication/therapy combo. It doesn't matter who died, it has clearly derailed them enough they are not functioning in multiple areas.

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference who died. A sibling is far different from a cousin.

Grief is grief. It cannot be rationalized. You feel how you feel. Sometimes it surprises you how you feel.

My BIL was murdered less than 2 miles from our home while driving home from work during a road rage incident. We didn’t give up on life and kept working but moved to a new city less than a year after it happened. It was painful to drive by that street and we were intentionally avoiding that area because of what happened. It’s a really nice area and was the town we grew up in but there was no way we could spend the rest of our lives there. Even when we go back to visit family in the area, it’s always tough to drive by where he was killed.

We had a sudden and traumatic death in DH's family. His much younger sister was murdered and it deeply impacted the siblings and their children. Time, therapy, grief support groups and medication has helped.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW - I left my hometown after a traumatic event there because I never felt “safe” after. I never wanted to randomly run into someone who knew about the event. It did help a lot to move and get a fresh start.

My husband was killed in a car accident and I moved away with my children. There were several factors that prompted the move but it was becoming very inconvenient to avoid that intersection.

OP, no matter the loss it can take awhile to process all the emotions. There's no actual timeline. Hopefully your wife and daughter will be open to some grief therapy or a group at some point. It can help.

I’d suggest a grief support group as a first step. Many people find that really really helpful.

Therapy. Grief support groups can be hit or miss, but therapy with a good provider is a nonjudgmental space to process and talk about anything - and grief is such a hard thing to manage alone.

Anonymous wrote:
They both need therapy.. ASAP

Having to quit college? Yikes.

They both need therapy.. ASAP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference who died. A sibling is far different from a cousin.

Please do not ever, ever tell anyone this, and seriously rethink this position if you truly believe it.

You have no right to ever tell anyone how or whom to grieve. Your situation is not theirs.

Plus a million!

If they won't get counseling, maybe just writing down their feelings could help. I recently suffered a loss, and went on a beach hike with mutual friends, which turned into a remembrance and kind of a memorial. The loss still hurts every day, but it helped a lot.

We’re talking 3 months to lose someone so close? These are early early days. Why won’t they see anyone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference who died. A sibling is far different from a cousin.

Please do not ever, ever tell anyone this, and seriously rethink this position if you truly believe it.

You have no right to ever tell anyone how or whom to grieve. Your situation is not theirs.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:I think it makes a difference who died. A sibling is far different from a cousin.

Please do not ever, ever tell anyone this, and seriously rethink this position if you truly believe it.

You have no right to ever tell anyone how or whom to grieve. Your situation is not theirs.