It all depends on how many people are flying in. If less than 20, take them to a restaurant and have dinner, if 60 then just soft drinks and snacks. You'll be toasting with champagne at wedding so no need to do it twice.

We went to one last weekend that was done well. I would say 75% of those in attendance had traveled for the wedding (where bride grew up and grandparents who were unable to travel lived). So the groom's parents hosted one as a "everyone has traveled we should get together instead of people fending for themselves". Open bar with wine, beer , sodas, and things like iced tea and lemonade. It was all passed apps and some stations of meat and cheese and things like that. Honestly it was perfect.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me about welcome parties that you have attended or hosted. 1) Did you limit drinks? The venue suggested giving each attendee two tickets for drinks and after that it's self pay. 2) Did you bring in decor, if so, what? 3) Did you have appetizers passed or set out? * We are trying to limit the cost and it seems like it could turn into a mini reception.

No drinks, just water, juice and coffee and few appetizers to meet and greet. A welcome sign but no fancy decor needed. Obviously you can knock yourself out going extra, that's legal.

Anonymous wrote:We had a welcome dinner, but it’s only for the people who flew in from out of town. No, we don’t limit drinks - nobody is getting drunk and making a fool of themselves. It’s a sit down dinner. People order from a menu we’ve arranged with the restaurant.

This makes sense to me. I can't understand how so many people are saying drink tickets are tacky but only serving appetizers is not. But then I'm from an Italian family and we are more interested in eating than drinking. I wouldn't limit drinks either because we're not big drinkers.

You do not invite guests to your event and charge them. If you can not afford an open bar, then just serve what you can afford. General custom has become you invite the bridal party and out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner. Just do that.

I've been to welcome dinner/rehearsal dinners typically where it's a mini-reception at a restaurant. Open bar cocktail hour before, then everyone moved to a seated dinner. There are centerpiece flowers, welcome speeches and everyone wears party or cocktail dress. Out of town visitors are invited with the wedding party.

I've been to welcome parties where they told people they'd cover the first 2 drinks and had a 1k limit at the bar. If they hit the 1k, you didn't get a free drink.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me about welcome parties that you have attended or hosted. 1) Did you limit drinks? No. It was mainly beer, wine and some selected alcohol. No limits, but it was only a 2-3 hour event. We were in our own space in the restaurant and so they had set up a separate bar for us. The restaurant kept a tab of what was consumed. No one got drunk or had enormous amount to drink. The venue suggested giving each attendee two tickets for drinks and after that it's self pay. 2) Did you bring in decor, if so, what?No. The restaurant venue was already very cute and lovely so no additional beautification was needed. However, we have seen fairylights in mason jars in other welcome dinners. My own estimation is that it is not required and no one cares. 3) Did you have appetizers passed or set out? Heavy appetizers were set out like a buffet on chafing dishes. Food was substantial enough to be seen as dinner (mini sliders, meatballs, skewers, mac and cheese bites, salads, shrimp cocktail, chicken, stuffed peppers etc) * We are trying to limit the cost and it seems like it could turn into a mini reception.

Most welcome parties I've been to were post-dinner and just had an open bar. Some had snacks and/or dessert.

OP - you're on the right track with just beer, wine, and soda.

A buffet can be less expensive than passed appetizers.

I would set a time limit for 2 hours, and just end it then, rather than transition to having some of it hosted (food) and some of it not hosted (drinks).

We had a VERY casual welcome dinner and limited decor to tea lights in jelly jars and mason jars. I bet you're already doing flowers at the reception, so this is something different.

We had a welcome dinner, but it’s only for the people who flew in from out of town. No, we don’t limit drinks - nobody is getting drunk and making a fool of themselves. It’s a sit down dinner. People order from a menu we’ve arranged with the restaurant.

Mother of the groom here. We include out of towners at the rehearsal dinner.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the feedback. The venue host was suggesting tickets which we didn't like. The idea of limiting choices to beer, wine, soda and food seems good to me.

OP this sounds great. Sometimes the groom's family hosts a rehearsal dinner/out of town dinner / out of town brunch, etc.
In this case if it's all on you, Something light and controlled is good, and people will really not be miffed to figure out the "more" on their own. If they want to keep drinking or go to a post-bar or restaurant we have apps and maps galore. It is not your responsibility to fund the whole weekend. Out of town guests know this and factor it into their decision to attend or not. Which is why we also encourage people on here to decline travel/destination weddings without guilt if it is out of their budget!

Thanks for the feedback. The venue host was suggesting tickets which we didn't like. The idea of limiting choices to beer, wine, soda and food seems good to me.

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same as rehearsal dinner the night before?

Yes...except there may or maynot be a "wedding rehearsal" per se.