Anonymous wrote:Maybe remind him that he's teaching his daughters what kind of treatment they should expect from their future spouses.

If true this man is a hero.

Hopefully the daughters are paying attention and will consider this if they consider marriage and children.

Anonymous wrote:What does he say when you tell him that you want him to celebrate Mother's Day?

If he says "absolutely, this year will be different" and then fails, you talk about the failure. Also, it comes with an apology.

If he says "I just don't believe in it" then you have to decide whether you can accept that or not.

Either way, stop weaponizing Father's Day about it. If it's important to you from a values perspective to celebrate Father's Day and teach your kids to celebrate it, you continue doing it for yourself and your kids.

Eh, I'm kind of over teaching our daughters to be doormats. If a man is mistreating you, show him the same kind of treatment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You married wrong.

Why?
It’s the kids who should acknowledge it.
The wife is not his mom.

Fair enough. He needs to show the kids how to acknowledge their mom.

What does he say when you tell him that you want him to celebrate Mother's Day?

If he says "absolutely, this year will be different" and then fails, you talk about the failure. Also, it comes with an apology.

If he says "I just don't believe in it" then you have to decide whether you can accept that or not.

Either way, stop weaponizing Father's Day about it. If it's important to you from a values perspective to celebrate Father's Day and teach your kids to celebrate it, you continue doing it for yourself and your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You married wrong.

Why?
It’s the kids who should acknowledge it.
The wife is not his mom.

Stop playing dumb. A five year old isn't going to know how to do this on their own nor can they take themselves to the store to get some flowers and a card.

Anonymous wrote:
You married wrong.

Why?
It’s the kids who should acknowledge it.
The wife is not his mom.

Why are you married to someone who doesn't prioritize you?

Anonymous wrote:You are not his mother.

She is the mother of his children who have asked him to go shopping so they can celebrate their mother. But surely you know this already.

You are not his mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the usual advice to ignore Fathers Day because who wants to model this race to the bottom for their kids?

Do we know the dad wants to be celebrated on Father's Day? Maybe he's modeling what he wants.

I think OP should take her daughters for a weekend away next year. Dad gets a weekend free from expectations he doesn't want to meet, Mom gets anything she wants, daughters get a chance to acknowledge their mom, which they seem to want to do.

So a child free weekend for dad to do whatever he wants. Uhm, hahahahahahahahhaa? How about mom takes a trip by herself and the kids stay with dad.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the usual advice to ignore Fathers Day because who wants to model this race to the bottom for their kids?

Do we know the dad wants to be celebrated on Father's Day? Maybe he's modeling what he wants.

I think OP should take her daughters for a weekend away next year. Dad gets a weekend free from expectations he doesn't want to meet, Mom gets anything she wants, daughters get a chance to acknowledge their mom, which they seem to want to do.

If your DH still hasn't gotten with the program after seven Mothers Days, he's a lost cause, but you can and should encourage your kids to celebrate you in age appropriate ways. Maybe you hand them some markers and paper and ask them to draw you a picture or make you a card. Yes, it sucks that your DH isn't doing this for you but if you start modeling to your daughters now, they will grow up learning how to show care and appreciation and when they get older they'll hopefully know to make you breakfast or pick up a favorite treat without being asked.

And also, do something nice for yourself. Splurge on something you wouldn't normally treat yourself to, schedule a spa day, book yourself into a hotel, whatever you'd enjoy.

Do you have any sisters nearby or close friends who are "Aunt so-and-so"? If so, could they take your kids to pick out gifts for you?

It sounds silly, but if any of my close friends were in your shoes I'd be thrilled to take their kids to pick out some flowers and a small gift for their mom.

Your husband is an ass.

One of my children has high functioning autism, so I take modeling this stuff a little more seriously than other people, but I would, and have, gotten DH out of bed and told him that he needed to make me pancakes for breakfast and make some kind of plan so I didn’t have to cook dinner.
Then I would have asked my kids to draw me a picture or write me a song or make me a card or something.

There are a lot of good ways to celebrate, and it doesn’t need to be over the top, but it’s not okay to just ignore the day.

Where's your mom? Take your mom out for brunch with your girls and show them how to celebrate moms. Your mom will likely acknowledge you too. Just leave the husband at home.