Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 21:33     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:I think this is a troll. I’ve never heard of applying to speak.


Every conference i've attended in tech has applications for speakers.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 21:31     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I shouldn't be, but I'm really mad that I applied to be a speaker at a women's conference for my industry (very niche, very tech bro populated). Almost the exact same talk topic they picked a dude to speak instead of me (or presumably other women). Like WTF? The dude isn't even well known. I don't know how they justify speaking a male speaker when it's supposed to be just women and people that identify as women.

I wish I could email the organizer but what's the point?


Maybe he identifies as a woman. Check your privilege.


This conference has pronouns, so no, he does not.


You know people change. I am identifying myself as female for the duration of this post.


Exactly. Sexuality and gender are fluid. I worked with someone whose gender identity changed day by day as they were gender fluid
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 21:24     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:He's someone's FWB, boyfriend, or husband. Nepo selection.

I guarantee it.


+1 organizer's DH who is unemployed looking for a job and wants something on his resume.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 21:22     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I shouldn't be, but I'm really mad that I applied to be a speaker at a women's conference for my industry (very niche, very tech bro populated). Almost the exact same talk topic they picked a dude to speak instead of me (or presumably other women). Like WTF? The dude isn't even well known. I don't know how they justify speaking a male speaker when it's supposed to be just women and people that identify as women.

I wish I could email the organizer but what's the point?


Maybe he identifies as a woman. Check your privilege.


This conference has pronouns, so no, he does not.


You know people change. I am identifying myself as female for the duration of this post.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 20:48     Subject: Re:WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Diversity. They already have enough women speakers on the schedule probably.


Nope. If I’m going to a women’s conference that’s who I want to hear from. I’m tired of this BS.

DP.


+1,000
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 20:46     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I shouldn't be, but I'm really mad that I applied to be a speaker at a women's conference for my industry (very niche, very tech bro populated). Almost the exact same talk topic they picked a dude to speak instead of me (or presumably other women). Like WTF? The dude isn't even well known. I don't know how they justify speaking a male speaker when it's supposed to be just women and people that identify as women.

I wish I could email the organizer but what's the point?


Maybe he identifies as a woman. Check your privilege.


This conference has pronouns, so no, he does not.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 20:13     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:Ask the organizer if they could explain their desire to have a man speak at a woman's conference. Even better, get a colleague of yours to ask. That way you won't look as butthurt as you are.


This is the way - a lot of colleagues, ideally.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 13:47     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
He's someone's FWB, boyfriend, or husband. Nepo selection.

I guarantee it.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:41     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
There's a women's tech conference coming up that I have a lot of complaints about, so I wonder if it's the same one. They asked for my instagram and not my GitHub when I submitted a talk, and then they never even got back to me. The talk choices they made are largely things that would be much too elementary for a local tech meetup, which says a lot about who this is pitched for and their expectations regarding women.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:35     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I shouldn't be, but I'm really mad that I applied to be a speaker at a women's conference for my industry (very niche, very tech bro populated). Almost the exact same talk topic they picked a dude to speak instead of me (or presumably other women). Like WTF? The dude isn't even well known. I don't know how they justify speaking a male speaker when it's supposed to be just women and people that identify as women.

I wish I could email the organizer but what's the point?


Maybe he identifies as a woman. Check your privilege.


Exactly. /s
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:34     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
It's a women's conference. All other things being equal, they should pick female speakers. If they're not sold on that, that's fine, but they shouldn't be running a women's conference.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:17     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
It sounds like you've come to expect preferential treatment because of your gender. When you're used to that equality feels like oppression.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:13     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:I think this is a troll. I’ve never heard of applying to speak.


It is extremely normal at tech conferences for there to be an application process for speakers.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:11     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:I think this is a troll. I’ve never heard of applying to speak.


MANY conferences have a 'call for papers' where people submit presentation / panel ideas. It is quite normal to apply to speak. The keynote speaker might be invited by the organizer, but people leading sessions often apply for those spots.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2026 08:08     Subject: WWYD - man picked over me to speak at a women's conference
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Presumably the other speaker was chosen and announced already. You are not going to get picked at this point.

You can politely offer yourself as a speaker in the future or if other spots become available, but going and whining about not being chosen at this stage would be unproductive.


Yes, of course. I just find it really upsetting and want to give that feedback without the blow back on me specifically


I was with you until this. If your feedback is valid, you should be able to confidently express it with your name attached. If you can't do that, you're not mature enough to be giving an address at a conference yet.