Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty much only a thing in its terrible form around 5th-6th grade, later middle school is also mean and insane but not in a 30 kid group chat kinda way.

High school, they have chats with their friends ….

+1, when the kids first get cell phones (and yes 5th grade was/is common) the large group text threads are pretty insane. My kid is in 8th grade now and those large group texts are not a thing. The mean and insane behavior is also really not a thing anymore. I was pleasantly surprised at how relatively drama free 8th grade has been.

My 8th grader had a kid suspended this year because of bullying on a group chat on the school's chat platform, and the entire grade had their access to chat via the school revoked...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your fifth grader has a phone?!

Assuming these kids are from an UMC background like most of Dcum, fifth graders typically do all this using iPads, not cell phones.

They usually don’t own phones that young, but they sure do have iPads which allows essentially the same thing.

My sixth grader does not have a phone, a watch, or her own iCloud account.

Yet she and her friends do their group chatting on a shared PowerPoint. Thankfully we have a good enough relationship that I know and can monitor, and it's a good group of kids. But basically if your kid has tech (to include a school issued laptop), they find a way.

Screenshots to other parents and the school counselor.

My kid was added to a huge group chat in 6th. Nothing bad but she found it annoying and left within a day.

But later that year, she was added to a “chat” via Google slides type program they all had on their school devices. I’m sure most parents were not aware of that chat, and it didn’t require having a personal device. My kid came to me because within a day or two, one kid was posting about getting kids to help them kill another kid! I mean I doubt anyone was in danger, but still pretty awful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty much only a thing in its terrible form around 5th-6th grade, later middle school is also mean and insane but not in a 30 kid group chat kinda way.

High school, they have chats with their friends ….

+1, when the kids first get cell phones (and yes 5th grade was/is common) the large group text threads are pretty insane. My kid is in 8th grade now and those large group texts are not a thing. The mean and insane behavior is also really not a thing anymore. I was pleasantly surprised at how relatively drama free 8th grade has been.

The worst mean behavior starts in 4th, peaks in 5th-6th, and starts to decline in 7th. I don’t think full decline happens until junior year of HS but yes, 8th/9th is generally smoother sailing for kids than 5th/6th.

This happened to my kid in the beginning of 5th grade. He only has an apple watch, so it's not as easy to leave/join/participate as it is for the ipad/phone kids. This became an issue when there was some crazy Roblox teasing that went on for 24 hours. My kid doesn't play Roblox and didn't participate in the text insanity. But he still got called to the principal the next day with maybe 10 other boys and punished for what some of the boys did.

I called the principal to try to understand what actually happened and how my kid was involved. Her response was that if you are on a text chain, you have a duty and responsibility to be an "upstander" and either respond to inapropriate comments or leave the text chain. This seemed crazy to me because the kid has a watch and can't even read or keep up with all the text messages. I also don't want my kids to feel like they need to be constantly checking their watch for messages from their friends, which is what the principal seemed to want them to do. Anyways, the whole thing was a dumpster fire and I thought it was stupid. He'd remove himself from the group and then get added back without even realizing it.

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty much only a thing in its terrible form around 5th-6th grade, later middle school is also mean and insane but not in a 30 kid group chat kinda way.

High school, they have chats with their friends ….

+1, when the kids first get cell phones (and yes 5th grade was/is common) the large group text threads are pretty insane. My kid is in 8th grade now and those large group texts are not a thing. The mean and insane behavior is also really not a thing anymore. I was pleasantly surprised at how relatively drama free 8th grade has been.

My kid’s phone is in my room at night, and she knows I check it frequently. You parents who let them have phones in their rooms at night are negligent and disgusting.

Kids are doing this on iPads usually not phones in 5th grade.

Giant and toxic group chats are a thing that persists through middle school. Both my kids had group chat experiences. Second kid was smarter about it and stayed on the fray (in the chat and ignoring it) and she also does not have access to her iPad during the week and only has a watch so hard to participate much with the watch (in 6th grade).

This is your first wake up call that many parents do not supervise their children at all and do not care. So parent your own child accordingly. Now it’s group chats later it’s drinking alcohol in high school.

There are some big group chats in 4th. I think there were some in 3rd too. No, the kids (generally) don’t literally have their own brand new phones with their own phone numbers/own lines. The group chats are generally on Messenger Kids or through other apps on a kid’s tablet or watch. Kids Messenger does have some protections in the sense that a kid can’t be in a group chat with someone they’re not friends with on the platform. But if your kid has a lot of messenger friends, the group chats can get to be pretty big. Kids also take screenshots and share them to other group chats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your fifth grader has a phone?!

Assuming these kids are from an UMC background like most of Dcum, fifth graders typically do all this using iPads, not cell phones.

They usually don’t own phones that young, but they sure do have iPads which allows essentially the same thing.

My 7th grader got a phone and a tablet in 7th grade. My 5th grader has neither. She talks to friends at school, and they see each other on the weekends. They do this crazy thing where they bike or walk to each other’s homes.

Anonymous wrote:Your fifth grader has a phone?!

Assuming these kids are from an UMC background like most of Dcum, fifth graders typically do all this using iPads, not cell phones.

They usually don’t own phones that young, but they sure do have iPads which allows essentially the same thing.

So we ran into this. I cannot recall the details but if. A group chat is started by an android phone and you have an iPhone, and they add you, you cannot “leave the conversation.” The only thing you can do is silence it. I tried and there isn’t an option to leave. Group chats are the devil in the middle school aged crowd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your fifth grader has a phone?!

mine did and that was 7 years ago

Let me rephrase: What kind of parent gives their kid a phone in the fifth grade?

This is pretty much only a thing in its terrible form around 5th-6th grade, later middle school is also mean and insane but not in a 30 kid group chat kinda way.

High school, they have chats with their friends ….