Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 21:05     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.


he is average height but built solidly. my own kid is skinnier but faster/ more agile, same height. my kid was a solid second team choice, this is not my own hurt ego or feeling of unfairness about this other kid taking a rightful spot from my kid, my kid will fit in better on the second team. what's funny though is that my own kid is also in the friend group of the 2 B team kids, the 2 A team kids, and the two cut kids. I myself did not grow up around here, nor did the parents of the cut kids. And my husband is not an alpha, social "guy's guy" with the other dads. He's athletic and tall but introverted and has no interest in playing the suburban dad popularity game. The parents of the kid who made the A team who should 1000% be an average to low average player on the rec team, both seem to have a lot of social clout. It really honestly just fascinates me that instead of throwing them a bone and maybe putting their kid on the B team to let them save face, they put him on the A team! Anyways point taken, I'm naive, and clearly not cut out for the travel soccer world of drama, fingers crossed my kid moves on to a sport where the parents seem less inclined to base their social lives off of what youth sports team their second grader made!


The kid is probably willing to play GK and no one else will.

Anyway, this phrasing means you and your husband have poor social skills and are probably regarded by others as awkward and weird. There's no such thing as the "suburban dad popularity game." Let me guess, you moved to where you are now from The City?


The kid is afraid of the ball and covers his face and ducks when shots come towards him. So, no. And our social skills are fine, we just are not strivers and we have both made friends organically with other parents we get along with. The boys club of dads who grew up in this town and never moved away aren’t interested in bringing my husband into the fold and my husband isn’t interested in being part of a 40 year old men’s boys club of people who never moved away after high school. So everyone’s happy to stay in their own lane. My husband is an ER physician and we moved here for his fellowship and ended up falling in love with the area. And we still love it! I just wish our son liked sports less so we wouldn’t have to witness this silly nonsense. I mean, this poor kid stuck on this intense travel team for a sport he is afraid of playing and isn’t good at. Luckily our daughter doesn’t have an athletic bone in her body.


Wow, you and your DH bot sound like real snobs.


What part of "we fell in love with this area and we still love it" makes us sound like snobs? Lol. When we first moved here we tried to make friends with everyone and it became very clear very quickly that there is a small town social hierarchy in place and while the moms and kids are happy to branch out (pleasantly surprised about the moms!), the dads were NOT. And my husband is the furthest thing from a social striver out there. He made work friends, and friends with 1 or 2 other dads who like to go running on the weekends together, and doesn't care about trying to get his foot in the door or of an old boys club that doesn't want him. It's fine.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 21:04     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:Not in the DC area anymore so no use speculating on which club I'm talking about. Club's first year of travel is U9 for boys. My son tried out along with most of his friends, to the same club. Large number of kids seemed to be there, maybe 40? Since it's the first age grouping I naively assumed there would not be a bunch of politics involved. The club doesn't have a rec program so these kids were all completely unknown to the evaluators and coaches, although I know people know eachother socially (the head coach for the top team grew up around here, as did many of my son's friend's parents) and some people have older kids on teams so are already known to the program. Anyways fast forward until after tryouts, my kid got an offer to be on the second team (out of 2 teams). So did 2 of his buddies, and a couple other buddies got cut entirely. One of his buddies is a standout player and made the top team. Now get this- another buddy of his, who is very objectively not athletic, and does not enjoy sports, but whose mom made him try out, made the top team. When I tell you that at tryouts, he stood out as one of the kids who didn't seem into it and didn't get many touches on the ball in the scrimmages, I am being serious. He was placed in the lowest tier scrimmage group pretty quickly when they started evaluating.

Please tell me what is happening! Was it a mistake?? (he has a very common name- think Jack or Henry). Is his mom sleeping with the coach?? Like literally tell me why this might have happened. I am new to the travel soccer world and know I can't engage in unkind gossip with the moms of my kid's friends, because he's friends with this kid. He's also about a hundred times better at soccer than him and the kids that got cut are marginally better too!


OF COURSE there are long-established parent cliques and they aren't going to cut their friends' son. Dude, it's U9 soccer; it's totally meaningless.

Welcome to the real world. Very little in life is equitable, fair and based on pure merit.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 21:01     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:U9 boys, you say?

If the kid paid attention to the coaches and showed respect he would likely get placed on the team higher than a skilled player who is a dufus like most boys at that age are (my son and a majority of his friends fit that bill).

You can teach skills, you can’t teach coach-ability.


Oh absolutely. The kids were all actually very well behaved during the tryouts, I didn't see anyone goofing off or interrupting. Which was shocking. They must have been nervous.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:59     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Please get a life.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:59     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:It's grossly sexist and hurts all women, yourself included, when you make such allegations, OP, even on an anonymous forum. Why? Because you're perpetuating myths that persist in the minds of stupid people.

I'm not inclined to engage with your topic any further. Check yourself.


It's not a myth travel sports parents are unreformed frat boys and sorority girls who get plastered at travel events, cheat, and even swing.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:57     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.


he is average height but built solidly. my own kid is skinnier but faster/ more agile, same height. my kid was a solid second team choice, this is not my own hurt ego or feeling of unfairness about this other kid taking a rightful spot from my kid, my kid will fit in better on the second team. what's funny though is that my own kid is also in the friend group of the 2 B team kids, the 2 A team kids, and the two cut kids. I myself did not grow up around here, nor did the parents of the cut kids. And my husband is not an alpha, social "guy's guy" with the other dads. He's athletic and tall but introverted and has no interest in playing the suburban dad popularity game. The parents of the kid who made the A team who should 1000% be an average to low average player on the rec team, both seem to have a lot of social clout. It really honestly just fascinates me that instead of throwing them a bone and maybe putting their kid on the B team to let them save face, they put him on the A team! Anyways point taken, I'm naive, and clearly not cut out for the travel soccer world of drama, fingers crossed my kid moves on to a sport where the parents seem less inclined to base their social lives off of what youth sports team their second grader made!


The kid is probably willing to play GK and no one else will.

Anyway, this phrasing means you and your husband have poor social skills and are probably regarded by others as awkward and weird. There's no such thing as the "suburban dad popularity game." Let me guess, you moved to where you are now from The City?


You sound a bit clueless. Lots of areas around the country have people who grew up there and never left. They have had the same friend group since high school and aren’t always welcoming to newcomers. Some of those same areas have parents even more obsessed with sports than here because there isn’t much else to do there. They don’t have kids who are super into math competitions, music, theater, etc. It’s all about the sports.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:57     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:It's grossly sexist and hurts all women, yourself included, when you make such allegations, OP, even on an anonymous forum. Why? Because you're perpetuating myths that persist in the minds of stupid people.

I'm not inclined to engage with your topic any further. Check yourself.


Signed,

Dianna Russinni
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:53     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
This sounds like some small town BS where the family of that kid is well connected in the town and/or the kid’s dad is friends with the coach. The coach either doesn’t want to mess up the friendship or the club sees them as a family who they want to keep happy maybe for reasons totally outside of soccer. It’s like if you have a friend who’s a real estate agent. They may not be the best one, but you feel obligated to go with them.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:38     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.


he is average height but built solidly. my own kid is skinnier but faster/ more agile, same height. my kid was a solid second team choice, this is not my own hurt ego or feeling of unfairness about this other kid taking a rightful spot from my kid, my kid will fit in better on the second team. what's funny though is that my own kid is also in the friend group of the 2 B team kids, the 2 A team kids, and the two cut kids. I myself did not grow up around here, nor did the parents of the cut kids. And my husband is not an alpha, social "guy's guy" with the other dads. He's athletic and tall but introverted and has no interest in playing the suburban dad popularity game. The parents of the kid who made the A team who should 1000% be an average to low average player on the rec team, both seem to have a lot of social clout. It really honestly just fascinates me that instead of throwing them a bone and maybe putting their kid on the B team to let them save face, they put him on the A team! Anyways point taken, I'm naive, and clearly not cut out for the travel soccer world of drama, fingers crossed my kid moves on to a sport where the parents seem less inclined to base their social lives off of what youth sports team their second grader made!


The kid is probably willing to play GK and no one else will.

Anyway, this phrasing means you and your husband have poor social skills and are probably regarded by others as awkward and weird. There's no such thing as the "suburban dad popularity game." Let me guess, you moved to where you are now from The City?


The kid is afraid of the ball and covers his face and ducks when shots come towards him. So, no. And our social skills are fine, we just are not strivers and we have both made friends organically with other parents we get along with. The boys club of dads who grew up in this town and never moved away aren’t interested in bringing my husband into the fold and my husband isn’t interested in being part of a 40 year old men’s boys club of people who never moved away after high school. So everyone’s happy to stay in their own lane. My husband is an ER physician and we moved here for his fellowship and ended up falling in love with the area. And we still love it! I just wish our son liked sports less so we wouldn’t have to witness this silly nonsense. I mean, this poor kid stuck on this intense travel team for a sport he is afraid of playing and isn’t good at. Luckily our daughter doesn’t have an athletic bone in her body.


Wow, you and your DH bot sound like real snobs.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:36     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
U9 boys, you say?

If the kid paid attention to the coaches and showed respect he would likely get placed on the team higher than a skilled player who is a dufus like most boys at that age are (my son and a majority of his friends fit that bill).

You can teach skills, you can’t teach coach-ability.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 20:31     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.


he is average height but built solidly. my own kid is skinnier but faster/ more agile, same height. my kid was a solid second team choice, this is not my own hurt ego or feeling of unfairness about this other kid taking a rightful spot from my kid, my kid will fit in better on the second team. what's funny though is that my own kid is also in the friend group of the 2 B team kids, the 2 A team kids, and the two cut kids. I myself did not grow up around here, nor did the parents of the cut kids. And my husband is not an alpha, social "guy's guy" with the other dads. He's athletic and tall but introverted and has no interest in playing the suburban dad popularity game. The parents of the kid who made the A team who should 1000% be an average to low average player on the rec team, both seem to have a lot of social clout. It really honestly just fascinates me that instead of throwing them a bone and maybe putting their kid on the B team to let them save face, they put him on the A team! Anyways point taken, I'm naive, and clearly not cut out for the travel soccer world of drama, fingers crossed my kid moves on to a sport where the parents seem less inclined to base their social lives off of what youth sports team their second grader made!


The kid is probably willing to play GK and no one else will.

Anyway, this phrasing means you and your husband have poor social skills and are probably regarded by others as awkward and weird. There's no such thing as the "suburban dad popularity game." Let me guess, you moved to where you are now from The City?


The kid is afraid of the ball and covers his face and ducks when shots come towards him. So, no. And our social skills are fine, we just are not strivers and we have both made friends organically with other parents we get along with. The boys club of dads who grew up in this town and never moved away aren’t interested in bringing my husband into the fold and my husband isn’t interested in being part of a 40 year old men’s boys club of people who never moved away after high school. So everyone’s happy to stay in their own lane. My husband is an ER physician and we moved here for his fellowship and ended up falling in love with the area. And we still love it! I just wish our son liked sports less so we wouldn’t have to witness this silly nonsense. I mean, this poor kid stuck on this intense travel team for a sport he is afraid of playing and isn’t good at. Luckily our daughter doesn’t have an athletic bone in her body.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 19:48     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.


he is average height but built solidly. my own kid is skinnier but faster/ more agile, same height. my kid was a solid second team choice, this is not my own hurt ego or feeling of unfairness about this other kid taking a rightful spot from my kid, my kid will fit in better on the second team. what's funny though is that my own kid is also in the friend group of the 2 B team kids, the 2 A team kids, and the two cut kids. I myself did not grow up around here, nor did the parents of the cut kids. And my husband is not an alpha, social "guy's guy" with the other dads. He's athletic and tall but introverted and has no interest in playing the suburban dad popularity game. The parents of the kid who made the A team who should 1000% be an average to low average player on the rec team, both seem to have a lot of social clout. It really honestly just fascinates me that instead of throwing them a bone and maybe putting their kid on the B team to let them save face, they put him on the A team! Anyways point taken, I'm naive, and clearly not cut out for the travel soccer world of drama, fingers crossed my kid moves on to a sport where the parents seem less inclined to base their social lives off of what youth sports team their second grader made!


The kid is probably willing to play GK and no one else will.

Anyway, this phrasing means you and your husband have poor social skills and are probably regarded by others as awkward and weird. There's no such thing as the "suburban dad popularity game." Let me guess, you moved to where you are now from The City?
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 19:47     Subject: Re:Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Guys, it's fine, I asked a friend of mine who grew up in this community if the travel squads were ever chosen more based on parent friend politics than on how well the kids play, and she laughed out loud and said she saw the U9 A team roster too and said I should expect to see that kid on the A team for the rest of his life until he was old enough to flat out refuse to go, or until his parents saw the light and realized they were making him a target of teasing from the kids on his team since he'll be so far out of his element. They said, "no one is ever going to have the balls to cut Jack from any team, ever." Maybe his dad is in the mafia? Am I allowed to joke about that? So, I guess that's my answer! Farewell soccer board, hope to never be back.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 19:32     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's grossly sexist and hurts all women, yourself included, when you make such allegations, OP, even on an anonymous forum. Why? Because you're perpetuating myths that persist in the minds of stupid people.

I'm not inclined to engage with your topic any further. Check yourself.


OMG the sleeping with the coach was a joke. I didn't realize that sort of thing actually happened so I assumed it was safe to joke about. She didn't sleep with the coach. We aren't a Lifetime movie.


You're so stupid you don't even realize the damage you're causing. I'm sure you talk like this in real life too, about celebrities or people you think are legitimate targets.



Not the OP. You're so stupid. It's actually a thing. Blame the women who do it instead of actually working hard to get something in life instead of laying on their backs for men or women in power.

Is it sucky? Yeah. But don't blame the OP. If this wasn't a thing, people wouldn't bring it up. Even if a power figure brought it up, instead of saying, "I'm down," more people should say no. Then, it wouldn't be a thing.
Anonymous
Post 05/10/2026 19:24     Subject: Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.
Anonymous wrote:If he’s not first team material he will sit on the bench. Your athlete will play. It’s that simple.


Well yeah mine will play, for the B team, which is where he belongs, and he'll have a great time with his friends. Again, I was mainly just so fascinated by the fact that someone would put this poor kid on a team so far out of his element, in a way that made literally every parent do a double take when they saw the roster, to the point that parents wonder if they put the wrong Jack on the A team because this Jack clearly can't be who they meant. I mean why would any parent want to pull strings and call in favors to put their kid in that situation? Or themselves??