Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides. I have found that unless I am assertive and really make an effort to speak up, I get ignored. But when I do make an effort people appreciate it and will often focus on my more, defer to my opinion, etc.

The people I envy are the ones who are deferred to or respected (and still noticed) despite being quiet. That will never be me because when I'm quiet I get overlooked. Those people have some kind of superpower, I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stand up for yourself. I have a strong presence and try to stand up for more taciturn people.

Then those people, for whom I stuck out my neck, are dazed and passive and have nothing to add when the moderator calls on them. They are just vacant.

It’s bad all around. I have never observed what you described so I’m really puzzled. Also, no one owes you air time. Practice phrases like “I want to jump in,” “excuse me,” and “I need to step in.” That takes practice. And confidence.

+1
From the other side. I'm a Christy. Everyone is always using my name as the example "what Christy said" but you know what? I do it a ton too. "What Barry said". I know people on here hate people like me but I get stuff done. I am complimented for how I "think on my feet". I talk fast, I interrupt, but I will also circle back around (quick mind) and apologize for cutting you off but then I get to the point and draw out the information the group needs from you. The slow thinkers and talkers aren't necessarily more deep and thought out. Us quick thinkers and talkers are also very quick at processing and have already come to conclusions and we're waiting for you to catch up.

Sometimes it's not worth our time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stand up for yourself. I have a strong presence and try to stand up for more taciturn people.

Then those people, for whom I stuck out my neck, are dazed and passive and have nothing to add when the moderator calls on them. They are just vacant.

It’s bad all around. I have never observed what you described so I’m really puzzled. Also, no one owes you air time. Practice phrases like “I want to jump in,” “excuse me,” and “I need to step in.” That takes practice. And confidence.

+1
From the other side. I'm a Christy. Everyone is always using my name as the example "what Christy said" but you know what? I do it a ton too. "What Barry said". I know people on here hate people like me but I get stuff done. I am complimented for how I "think on my feet". I talk fast, I interrupt, but I will also circle back around (quick mind) and apologize for cutting you off but then I get to the point and draw out the information the group needs from you. The slow thinkers and talkers aren't necessarily more deep and thought out. Us quick thinkers and talkers are also very quick at processing and have already come to conclusions and we're waiting for you to catch up.

Sometimes it's not worth our time.

Anonymous wrote:Are you slow to respond? Process things slower than others? I wonder if people skip over you because they think you don’t want to participate. Also if you seem withdrawn they may assume you’re unhappy about the conversation.

Make eye contact, nod, smile, affirm, jump in and share your thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you slow to respond? Process things slower than others? I wonder if people skip over you because they think you don’t want to participate. Also if you seem withdrawn they may assume you’re unhappy about the conversation.

Make eye contact, nod, smile, affirm, jump in and share your thoughts.

I turned to AI to gather what type of “thinker” and “communicator” I may be.

Apparently I am an Associative systems thinker and a high context communicator.

Your brain may move:

A → D → H

because you internally already connected:

A → B → C → D → E → F → G → H

So when you speak, others may feel like they missed part of the map.

Anonymous wrote:Are you slow to respond? Process things slower than others? I wonder if people skip over you because they think you don’t want to participate. Also if you seem withdrawn they may assume you’re unhappy about the conversation.

Make eye contact, nod, smile, affirm, jump in and share your thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:I was somewhere recently standing alone in a tranquil place outdoors when a group of eight Millennials (four couples) in their 30s to early 40s showed up. Fine, I don't own the space it's for everyone, all are welcome. But what was weird is how they crowded in on both sides of me in that open space. They were literally standing all around me, with me in the middle. They were talking to each other the whole time, immersed in conversation about their favorite streaming shows, talking literally over my head
(I 'm 5'1) on both sides of me like I wasn't there and didn't exist. It wouldn't have mattered if they had been ten feet to the side and hadn't crowded around within a foot of me. It was like being in a huge room with 50 empty tables and I'm sitting at one and this group of total strangers walks in and sits right down at my table and doesn't acknowledge that I'm there. That's how it felt. This went on for maybe 10 minutes until I left. I kept waiting for them to walk on, but they just kept standing there. I'm Gen X. It isn't my first odd communication experience with that age group. I really do think there's something basic missing in the operating system of many people in the 32 to 44 age range. They lack something, and it's more than just a lack of manners. It's a lack of heart and soul. It's as if growing up on social media stole a part of their humanity and they don't see people who are right in front of them. It's super odd.

Anonymous wrote:Please stand up for yourself. I have a strong presence and try to stand up for more taciturn people.

Then those people, for whom I stuck out my neck, are dazed and passive and have nothing to add when the moderator calls on them. They are just vacant.

It’s bad all around. I have never observed what you described so I’m really puzzled. Also, no one owes you air time. Practice phrases like “I want to jump in,” “excuse me,” and “I need to step in.” That takes practice. And confidence.