Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Conservative? Trump supporter?

Anonymous wrote:I won’t pressure them to move out of the house. No parties in HS. I will not mind my own business when they have kids!!🤣

+1
I would not subject my kids to that pressure either. Some kids need more support, some less. They can build a nest egg when they live at home.

My kids heard their dorm-mates talk about this first-time in college - parents not paying for college, parents expecting kids to move out or pay rent, parents expecting kids to earn their own spending money, parents selling the house and moving somewhere else while the kids were in college, parents basically using the child's room as their own hobby room etc - not because the parents were poor but because it was just an "expectation". It was such a mean and adversarial relationship that they were shocked when they heard it first.

Of course, parents need to help make their kids as successful and independent as they can...but this muscle needs time to build. Why are they just dropping the ball? I cannot understand it.

Anonymous wrote:First things that came to mind with the subject line was set off our own firecrackers.

My Dad's a pediatrician and he never allowed fireworks. He'd seen some stuff in the ER.

Also on his no list were trampolines, doing anything like biking or scootering without a helmet, and riding motorcycles.

I’m second generation Indian American.

I allow sleepovers, but give my girls a talk often about body safety.

I allow carpools, of course.

I allow dating.

I’d have to agree on guns.no guns at all.


I do allow them to eat meat (I’m vegetarian), but I’m starting to regret this. On Mother’s Day, my mil is making steak since it’s also my husbands birthday! I’m a lifelong vegetarian and this is offensive to me!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

This is the funniest post I’ve ever seen on DCUM.

Gentle reader:

Your college son with a girlfriend is absolutely having sex. And that’s normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Why do you live here and allow your children to go to school here if you think American families are dangerous?

Good question. Why are you here?
Probably for economic reasons. I can't imagine anyone yearns to come here for the liberal freedom to own a gun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Of course, I definitely always told my parents when I was having sex. Your son in college is definitely having sex, but I get that it’s better to just think our kids would never. I’m sure they just hold hands and watch movies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Uh huh.

Growing up I was not allowed to sleepovers. I went to one and my mother never let me forget that I probably preferred that other family, etc....

So I let my kids do sleepovers. It is interesting what is normalized in families. My kid came from one (with a good friend) in a traumatized state because of how the father roughly handled their family dog. That was a case of letting my kid decide to let the friendship slow fade because of what she perceived to be dysfunctional family dynamics.
The kids talk - I overheard my son talking to his friends about who they would marry in their elementary class, and my daughter talk with her friends about their crushes. Then the next day some of the kids have to get up early because their family attends church services. And seeing that some families are serious about juicing and vitamixes and other families have work studios for sewing crafts is interesting. Their friends are curious that this mom has power tools around the house and something new always seems to be installed her or there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You can have whatever rules you want but your mindset is awful, OP.

I am so curious what you mean by "American families" - white people? Anyone who lives here?

You clearly think you are so superior - glad others are mostly spared from you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Why do you live here and allow your children to go to school here if you think American families are dangerous?

I won’t pressure them to move out of the house. No parties in HS. I will not mind my own business when they have kids!!🤣

Anonymous wrote:First things that came to mind with the subject line was set off our own firecrackers.

I know what you mean. I have seen this happen last year on a deserted road close to our neighborhood. Late at night. This was not small firecrackers or sparklers either. This was full blown 4th of July kind of stuff and these teenagers were lighting them in their hands.

SMH.

This is actually hilarious. I don’t know a single person who owns a gun (and I’m a republican). I also don’t know a single person who owns a pitbull. And I would say the vast majority of people I know don’t do sleepovers.

I love how people hate when Americans stereotype non-americans and they just do the same exact thing.

And for the first time I am hearing that non-American teenagers tell their parents everything and never lie 🙂.