Are they over scheduled? Maybe that’s why you feel like their manager.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is all interesting and sweet to read.

I feel like the last 10 years haven’t been enjoyable. There are moments of joy but it’s a lot of managing them. I wonder when it’ll switch to…oh, we can sit at cava and have a chat and you’re super cool to be around!

What have you done to change the dynamic? It's much easier dealing with other people's kids than your own, but you are 1/2 the bad dynamic and need to take the lead as a parent. Taking your kids out to eat is a great way to spend time with them. I do it as much as possible. Its $$$ but worth it.

Well I have daughters so maybe not helpful. But yes they were really easy to love - funny, silly, adorable, hijinks, and very little (if any) behavioral issues. They weren’t whiny or spoiled.

They’re teens now and it’s the same - they’re funny, adventurous, push normal boundaries, but always respectful and easy to parent.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is all interesting and sweet to read.

I feel like the last 10 years haven’t been enjoyable. There are moments of joy but it’s a lot of managing them. I wonder when it’ll switch to…oh, we can sit at cava and have a chat and you’re super cool to be around!

A lot of this is your own expectation. If you approach your job as mom as "manager," then it is hard to change. If, particularly as you enter middle school, you start approaching your job as "advisor who gives advice only when requested," then your cava days will come sooner than you expect.

I have liked my son more each year of his life. He is 13. He becomes more interesting and less challenging every year. I expect this to continue, honestly, although I know you never know what comes down the next path.

My friends who struggle with their teenagers had very easy going young children so the teen Independence is a surprise. My son has been difficult since day 1, so Im over that; but with age he is really enjoyable to spend time with.

When they are babies, you can sit and just watch them. They are endlessly fascinating. It's like having a portable fireplace. Put the baby down and lets stare at it for a little while and have deep thoughts.

That doesn't really change. I still find my boys endlessly fascinating. Obviously there are stages. I found middle school to be the most challenging. Like, son, in the big scheme of things your brand of socks doesn't matter. And you'll be a lot more comfortable wearing pants instead of shorts when its minus 20.

But, still, it's like sitting around the fireplace watching boys grow up.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is all interesting and sweet to read.

I feel like the last 10 years haven’t been enjoyable. There are moments of joy but it’s a lot of managing them. I wonder when it’ll switch to…oh, we can sit at cava and have a chat and you’re super cool to be around!

That happened when my kid moved out and was on his own. So maybe 22/23 yrs old.

OP here. This is all interesting and sweet to read.

I feel like the last 10 years haven’t been enjoyable. There are moments of joy but it’s a lot of managing them. I wonder when it’ll switch to…oh, we can sit at cava and have a chat and you’re super cool to be around!

Yes, I’ve always got along well with my oldest DS who is 16. My younger one is a bit more challenging but he’s pretty awesome too. Just naturally not as chill but he can really light up a room when he feels like it or generally be comfortable to hang out with.

I have girls. I have always like them and could tell I would like them as teens/adults. One is not as warm/fuzzy as the other and likes her independence, but she was always that way even as a young child.

My young adult son is a lovely human and always has been. There has never been a time when I have not liked him immensely. That is not to say that he was easy. He was a very challenging baby - health issues, feeding issues, bad sleep. As a teen he struggled with anxiety and depression. But he’s never been a jerk. He’s sweet, smart, considerate, thoughtful, just a good soul.

I’m another lucky parent here. I really liked my kids when they were young and I really like my teenagers and vice versa! We’re close. We enjoy activities together and when I hear of other people‘s challenging experiences, I can’t relate so I don’t chime in. I am a very Blessed and lucky woman.

I get along really well with both my teens. One boy, one girl. They were not always easy, the boy was easier as a baby, but harder in ES years. The girl has been a delight and also a challenge due to anxiety.

It wasn’t always easy, but I also feel lucky to have the relationships I do with both of them.

I did not enjoy the elementary school years. She just talked so much about nothing. Everything else, I’ve lived. She’s 23.

My eldest, a DS, has mostly been super easy, even as a toddler. That's how we ended up with a second (DD), but she was a bit harder.

DS is now almost 21, and he's great. He's easy, like I said, always has been.

18 yr old DD oth has issues and has been much harder. Still, I think she is easier in some aspects than most teens.

For the most part, my kids are easy in terms of discipline and having enough drive to go to college and think about a good paying career. Neither have gotten into any trouble; no phone calls late at night saying, "I'm drunk, or my ride is drunk or high, come pick me up". They're not huge partyers and have a pretty good head on their shoulders. Not too much rebelliousness or back talk.

I'm super thankful that for the most part, my kids have been not too difficult, and as they come into their adulthood, they are super fun to talk to.