She's not a kid at 26! She is trying to make her own life and that's a GOOD THING!!! Step back a bit and give her space/time to respond to your texts. You can also just make decisions without her and perhaps she will learn to reply sooner if she doesn't like what you choose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get your own life.

+100. This is such a whiny post complete with crying emoji I have no doubt DD has solid reasons for wanting some space. Is probably getting a million texts about things she has assessed are inconsequential.

Put on your reading glasses. It is not a crying emoji.

I can understand why you are annoyed, but 26 is a full-fledged adult. I have a 22 yr old who is a full time grad school and she’s allowed to ignore me. If she’s busy. So be it. If you say anything to her, it should be. I love you, but I think I need to back off making your travel arrangements. You should do that yourself. If you need to talk about a trip you r taking together pre-arrange a mutually available time to discuss.

This child is 26
OP you need to find some business of your own.

Anonymous wrote:Well I am trying to do stuff for her. And her special event and our upcoming international trip. I think parents should have a way to reach their own child.

She is 26 years old.

I am really over this.

They want to be treated like adults, so should step up and act that way.

(And those of you who are snarkily judgemental are off base. But I guess being smug somehow feels good to you.)

I get it OP. My kids ignore text from me as well. I couldn’t get away with stuff like that with parents in my culture, I would have been dismiss and forgotten😂 I try to teach the value of treating family members like they matter, I guess it didn’t take. Any interactions have to be in their own terms because they’re so ‘busy.’ It’s very different with my family of origin, we are very involved in each other’s lives and prioritize being accessible. My kids will say, “that’s your culture, not mine.” 😟 It makes me grateful for my sisters, aunts and cousins. Parents are deceased

Tell her to move out.

Consequence is the best teacher. Let her learn from the consequences of her (in)actions. Stop trying to fix everything for her; it'll frustrate you and she won't appreciate it, because she takes you for granted.

This is YOUR time. Focus on you, and let her come along for your ride if she can get her ish together.

Read boundaries by henry cloud. Make some friends and parent your child you're not best friends get your own.

I quit doing stuff like that when my kid turned 21 because it IS annoying being their oft ignored chief of staff or personal assistant. You have to start breaking free OP. Even if you are paying for a trip or whatever, create boundaries. Like if I don’t hear from you by x date, this is the decision that will be made. You’ll be personally on the hook for any changes you want to make

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound immature and annoying, actually. Your adult child is entitled to her own life without you in it 24/7/365. Learn to deal with yourself and your stuff, all on your own, without having to bug your kid, lean on your kid, ask your kid for advice, run it past them, etc. Just take care of it. Stop using your adult child as your emotional crutch and stand on your own two feet.

You are projecting some s*it from your own life.

These characterizations could not be more off base.

Over and out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I am trying to do stuff for her. And her special event and our upcoming international trip. I think parents should have a way to reach their own child.

She is 26 years old.

I am really over this.

They want to be treated like adults, so should step up and act that way.

(And those of you who are snarkily judgemental are off base. But I guess being smug somehow feels good to you.)

I have a kid like this, if she doesn't respond to you by the time you need to make decisions, make them without her. It's a great learning experience. Yes she will be unhappy etc. but she will also learn why it's important to respond in a timely manner. I did this w my 20 YO on a vacation..gave ample time to respond on choices etc. We made them without her. She then responded with deets of her requirements and guess what...too bad, we made the decision..you had all the info, we asked for your input and nothing so deal with it or don't go.

Just do this and stop texting so much. Don’t be punitive or resentful. If she complains about choices made just neutrally reply that you asked for her input and she didn’t respond. When there’s a deadline for a response, make it clear. Ask one time.

So stop doing stuff for her. Plan whatever you want for the international trip. If she complains tell her to shut it because she had her opportunity to reply to your texts and chose not to. So she lost the opportunity to have any input.

OP, you sound immature and annoying, actually. Your adult child is entitled to her own life without you in it 24/7/365. Learn to deal with yourself and your stuff, all on your own, without having to bug your kid, lean on your kid, ask your kid for advice, run it past them, etc. Just take care of it. Stop using your adult child as your emotional crutch and stand on your own two feet.

Anonymous wrote:Well I am trying to do stuff for her. And her special event and our upcoming international trip. I think parents should have a way to reach their own child.

She is 26 years old.

I am really over this.

They want to be treated like adults, so should step up and act that way.

(And those of you who are snarkily judgemental are off base. But I guess being smug somehow feels good to you.)

I have a kid like this, if she doesn't respond to you by the time you need to make decisions, make them without her. It's a great learning experience. Yes she will be unhappy etc. but she will also learn why it's important to respond in a timely manner. I did this w my 20 YO on a vacation..gave ample time to respond on choices etc. We made them without her. She then responded with deets of her requirements and guess what...too bad, we made the decision..you had all the info, we asked for your input and nothing so deal with it or don't go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are paying for the vacation, stop it. She’s 26.

And a full time student.

Maybe hold off on judging.

Consider kindness.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Perhaps you should take your own advice.

Grow up mom. Be a mom not a friend.