Anonymous
04/30/2026 14:00
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:You should be. Most of my acquaintances in the DC area are very downwardly mobile. Yet extremely comfortable as they are subsidized by their rich and UMC families.
You should be telling the kids immediately not to expect a dime beyond schooling or whatever. Otherwise they will observe their other rich friends be supported indefinitely by their families and expect the same from you.
FWIW I grew up LMC in the rural south and knowing that my parents weren’t planning to give me any money really helped me understand that I had to make my own money in life.
Me too pp.
I grew up middle class on the south, but my parents grew up poor and I knew that after graduation I was on my own to support myself except for the rare emergency. Paid for college was the end of it. And this attitude was extremely helpful in encouraging me to live a sustainable lifestyle and save money.
The old friends who stayed in our area and were subsidized by their middle class parents are now middle age, parents have passed away or are needy now, and the old friends can no longer support their lifestyle.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 13:53
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
OP, are your kids worried about this? Why do you see this as a concern?
Anonymous
04/30/2026 13:34
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I mean, my kids are 7 and 9 so, no, I do not actively worry about this.
We have a significantly lower HHI than you, but it is still way more money than my or DH's parents made. Cost of living in this area is way more than where we grew up too. We do not get financial help from family.
I hope to make sure my kids understand that they are not going to move our of our house into their own equivalent house and that the nice things we are able to do for them are us both working hard. I think they do know that already.
Honestly though, OP, if you do not plan to help your kids some in adulthood, why are you grinding to make over half a million dollars a year? Paid for college, money for a wedding (if they choose to marrry), downpayment for a home, paying for them to attend immediately family vacations are all things that my friends with wealthier parents have that make life a lot easier. It's not a trust fun or paying for daily living expenses but it sure helps and you likely could afford it.
Making $500K is not enough for all of that in a HCOLA. Sure, you pay for college and wedding, but you are not giving them a significant downpayment on that income where you have a lifestyle that requires much of it to live yourself.
I don’t think that’s right. If you bought or refinanced in 2021 with good interest rates, you can have a moderate mortgage I. A great neighborhood. If you have 500k pre tax, you’re likely taking home 350k after tax. You could very comfortably live on 125k a year with public school (assuming you’re out of the daycare years). If you’re saving and investing the balance, you’ll have a shit ton of money by the time your kids are adults.
Of course, if the lifestyle you want to maintain involves 130k/yr in private school tuition, new $50,000 cars every few years, and a country club membership, well, then you’re right that there won’t be a lot of wealth accumulated.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 13:34
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:As a young adult I didn't have a nice house or even a car. It took me time to get those things, well into my 30s. Nobody helped me or dh. The truth is young adults need very, very little money to enjoy life, as long as they don't think a good life = lavish spending all the time.
Exactly! Being “poor” in young adulthood isn’t something to fear. I had a blast!
Anonymous
04/30/2026 13:32
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
No, not worried at all. They likely will not be able to afford their current lifestyle. But I don’t spend a second of my time worrying about it. If they’re not worried, I’m not!
Anonymous
04/30/2026 13:18
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:I mean, my kids are 7 and 9 so, no, I do not actively worry about this.
We have a significantly lower HHI than you, but it is still way more money than my or DH's parents made. Cost of living in this area is way more than where we grew up too. We do not get financial help from family.
I hope to make sure my kids understand that they are not going to move our of our house into their own equivalent house and that the nice things we are able to do for them are us both working hard. I think they do know that already.
Honestly though, OP, if you do not plan to help your kids some in adulthood, why are you grinding to make over half a million dollars a year? Paid for college, money for a wedding (if they choose to marrry), downpayment for a home, paying for them to attend immediately family vacations are all things that my friends with wealthier parents have that make life a lot easier. It's not a trust fun or paying for daily living expenses but it sure helps and you likely could afford it.
Making $500K is not enough for all of that in a HCOLA. Sure, you pay for college and wedding, but you are not giving them a significant downpayment on that income where you have a lifestyle that requires much of it to live yourself.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:57
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
As a young adult I didn't have a nice house or even a car. It took me time to get those things, well into my 30s. Nobody helped me or dh. The truth is young adults need very, very little money to enjoy life, as long as they don't think a good life = lavish spending all the time.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:49
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think 99 percent of kids now will have a much lower quality of life as adults. Unless you can stop AI and climate change.
Unless you can give your kids decent financial support and inheritance
That will only go so far in a world with no jobs and climate catastrophe unless you are a zillionairre.
Perhaps. But I’d still rather have $25M than $1M.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:44
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
So long as my kids have a productive career, I’m happy to help finance their lifestyle (eg, help with down payment etc not monthly recurring payments). So I do hope they have a nice life!
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:44
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
I mean, my kids are 7 and 9 so, no, I do not actively worry about this.
We have a significantly lower HHI than you, but it is still way more money than my or DH's parents made. Cost of living in this area is way more than where we grew up too. We do not get financial help from family.
I hope to make sure my kids understand that they are not going to move our of our house into their own equivalent house and that the nice things we are able to do for them are us both working hard. I think they do know that already.
Honestly though, OP, if you do not plan to help your kids some in adulthood, why are you grinding to make over half a million dollars a year? Paid for college, money for a wedding (if they choose to marrry), downpayment for a home, paying for them to attend immediately family vacations are all things that my friends with wealthier parents have that make life a lot easier. It's not a trust fun or paying for daily living expenses but it sure helps and you likely could afford it.
We have a significantly lower HHI than you, but it is still way more money than my or DH's parents made. Cost of living in this area is way more than where we grew up too. We do not get financial help from family.
I hope to make sure my kids understand that they are not going to move our of our house into their own equivalent house and that the nice things we are able to do for them are us both working hard. I think they do know that already.
Honestly though, OP, if you do not plan to help your kids some in adulthood, why are you grinding to make over half a million dollars a year? Paid for college, money for a wedding (if they choose to marrry), downpayment for a home, paying for them to attend immediately family vacations are all things that my friends with wealthier parents have that make life a lot easier. It's not a trust fun or paying for daily living expenses but it sure helps and you likely could afford it.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:40
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think 99 percent of kids now will have a much lower quality of life as adults. Unless you can stop AI and climate change.
Unless you can give your kids decent financial support and inheritance
That will only go so far in a world with no jobs and climate catastrophe unless you are a zillionairre.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:38
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t worry about it at all. They’re going to be poor for a while, then they’ll do a bit better but money will be tight and, hopefully, they can get to more of a comfortable place as they get older. They’re going to need to make it work for themselves.
By and large, young adulthood is poverty. You have nothing of your own at that age. And that’s okay because there are other things to compensate.
+1 the 20s are challenging financially for the great majority. Follow good habits, work hard in your career, and hopefully you get to financial comfort later. The only support we offer to our young adult kids is to invite them along on a paid vacation once a year.
DS is doing well so far with a well-paid job for a new grad, saving a lot. His girlfriend is in law school. I think they'll do well financially in the long run.
DD is pursuing a lower-paid career that she's really passionate about. She is also super frugal, has zero interest right now in marriage and has always insisted she will not have kids. So, she should be fine just supporting herself in this career.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 12:26
Subject: Re:Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
We lived well but below our means so we didn’t spoil them. We often spoke about the importance of a good education and hard work. They are all doing very well in their mid late 30s. Their homes are nicer than ours at the same age. We are generous with 529 plans and annual gifts. They are doing fine but they know if something went sideways or south we have the resources to help.
Anonymous
04/30/2026 08:45
Subject: Re:Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:Most people take a lifestyle hit when they become young adults. But hopefully their parents have taught them and modeled the importance of hard work and the concept of working to achieve goals.
It’s actually more of a problem when young adults enter the real world and expect to live at the exact same lifestyle their parents live in now. Unless people come from very wealthy families, they had to establish themselves. There’s something to be said about out learning how to appreciate what you can accomplish.
Not everyone. I know a bunch of people who grew up poor or LMC and started making 100k+ early 20’s. It’s an amazing thing to see
Anonymous
04/30/2026 08:36
Subject: Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?
Anonymous wrote:I think 99 percent of kids now will have a much lower quality of life as adults. Unless you can stop AI and climate change.
Unless you can give your kids decent financial support and inheritance