OP here. I think my biggest point of stress is attendance. How many people will RSVP and even then how many of them will actually show up? How much food should I get? Will my child be sad if only 2 people show up? Is this even worth it? We’ve moved around a lot, so maybe other people here have a strong social network and don’t have this anxiety?

My mom did birthday parties for us in early elementary, but later on we'd just select a few friends and my dad would take us to play pool, go bowling, watch a movie, etc. I have great memories of those outings.

Our kids are still at the age when we need to invite most of the class (mostly because everyone is invited to every birthday), but we just go to a playground, and most of the effort revolves around picking up a cake (and coffee for the adults) and preparing the food. We try to avoid hosting at home because of the huge amount of cleanup involved.

The headcount gets smaller as the kid gets older until it's just the core group of 3-5 friends by upper elementary. Just don't be like the parent who let her DD hand out invitations to every kid in the class, except mine. That was brutal and made my early elementary student want to stop going to school back in the day. And if you're a teacher, please don't let students hand out paper invitations in class if that's still a thing. Don't be a bully.

Anonymous wrote:I mean… having kids is work.
Mine is 13 now and still has a friends party. The last few years have been at our community pool. I just buy pizza from dominos and cake from Costco.

You should buy the pizza from Costco too and have them double slice it. Our party guests love it so much more than dominos/pizza hut/papa johns.

Yes. It's not always big but always special. We did one venue party for each kid and no more as they found it chaotic. They like a home party. The summer birthday kid usually has a bigger party as she's younger and bouncy house and playing in the yeard is still fun. The winter bday kid has about 8-9 kids over, a craft activity, or cooking etc. I go all out and organize and make it fun with food and decor - not for Pinterest just for us. We have a lot of parents stay as they are friends. I love birthdays and the planning so it's a lot but I truly enjoy it.

I mean… having kids is work.
Mine is 13 now and still has a friends party. The last few years have been at our community pool. I just buy pizza from dominos and cake from Costco.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post title is asking about "too much work" re: bday parties, but youre not asking about a conventional kid party at your house or the nearby Sky Zone.

You're talking about a formal bday party for your kid??
"Formal" as in a quincera?

Skyzone, bounce house, etc. not just in your backyard with mostly family and two neighborhood kids. Clearly everyone else knows what I was referring to.

I have 3 kids. I have always thrown parties for them. I don’t find planning a birthday party stressful at all. If it is at a venue, it is easy. You just pay for the venue, send out invitations, buy some favors, food and some decorations.

We have also done home parties and that is a lot more work. Venue parties are easy.s

Dp. Agree. Venues are easy. That's why people do them.

+1 it takes some planning and money but it's not that much work.

My kids are at the age where they love birthday parties (5 and 8). Their own and friends' parties too. No phase lasts forever.

I liked the parents-stay phase of preschool parties. It's how we got to know the other families. I didn't find attending them draining like a PP. Kids are basically entertained by the venue or each other and parents can chat.

+1. The combination of parents who hang around and venue staff leading the actual activities if necessary makes it easy and enjoyable for me.

I feel really bad if my party doesn't look pinterest worthy. Like it was a gift grab. We always do at home birthday parties since I have a large yard, sometimes hire entertainers, massive water slides, and a large basement party room (1000 sq ft that's almost empty).

I spend a lot and I think it's a great party, but I think people see a home birthday party invite and don't want to come. We invited the whole Pre-K class for my dd and only 3 came. She was pretty devastated. I definitely felt burnt out after that and she cried when her friends didn't show.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post title is asking about "too much work" re: bday parties, but youre not asking about a conventional kid party at your house or the nearby Sky Zone.

You're talking about a formal bday party for your kid??
"Formal" as in a quincera?

Skyzone, bounce house, etc. not just in your backyard with mostly family and two neighborhood kids. Clearly everyone else knows what I was referring to.

I have 3 kids. I have always thrown parties for them. I don’t find planning a birthday party stressful at all. If it is at a venue, it is easy. You just pay for the venue, send out invitations, buy some favors, food and some decorations.

We have also done home parties and that is a lot more work. Venue parties are easy.s

Dp. Agree. Venues are easy. That's why people do them.

+1 it takes some planning and money but it's not that much work.

My kids are at the age where they love birthday parties (5 and 8). Their own and friends' parties too. No phase lasts forever.

I liked the parents-stay phase of preschool parties. It's how we got to know the other families. I didn't find attending them draining like a PP. Kids are basically entertained by the venue or each other and parents can chat.

Anonymous wrote:DD 12 still wants one - escape room or sleepover, that kind of thing.

I find that an event space is way easier than an at-home party, I an not sure why people act like Iike having a bunch of people over is effortless.

Having adults over is work, having kids over is pretty easy. So it depends how you structure it!

But yeah, we normally do birthdays out of the house because it's easier. It feels fleeting, the fun party years of inviting friends from school. My older daughter (12) already has a tighter group of friends she wants to celebrate with. Normally they aren't all available, so it ends up being her and 3-4 friends or so doing something fun. It's great.

Anonymous wrote:Your post title is asking about "too much work" re: bday parties, but youre not asking about a conventional kid party at your house or the nearby Sky Zone.

You're talking about a formal bday party for your kid??
"Formal" as in a quincera?

Are you dense or what

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post title is asking about "too much work" re: bday parties, but youre not asking about a conventional kid party at your house or the nearby Sky Zone.

You're talking about a formal bday party for your kid??
"Formal" as in a quincera?

Skyzone, bounce house, etc. not just in your backyard with mostly family and two neighborhood kids. Clearly everyone else knows what I was referring to.

I have 3 kids. I have always thrown parties for them. I don’t find planning a birthday party stressful at all. If it is at a venue, it is easy. You just pay for the venue, send out invitations, buy some favors, food and some decorations.

We have also done home parties and that is a lot more work. Venue parties are easy.s

Dp. Agree. Venues are easy. That's why people do them.

Never. My sister did when they were younger. Glad she stopped.

This annual party extravaganza is a newer thing. My kids are in their early 30’s and we have a UMC lifestyle and I, nor their friends, did an annual party. Instead, we did a small at-home family party, sent a snack to school, made a cake and called it a day. I am flabbergasted by the preschool age parties where all the parents stay + siblings— this is crazy! No wonder you are all so exhausted.

My daughter is turning nine next week. Up until age 7, I had a huge blowout party every year. Then I realized that I would have to keep outdoing myself year after year, and it just wasn't sustainable. So last year for her eighth birthday, we went on vacation to Japan. Next week for her ninth, she's have just a few friends for pizza and swimming at our club. I think I'm just going to do alternating years of vacations and small parties going forward.