Anonymous wrote:Op - I do love my original ring. I just sometimes feel out of place when I am around my DH’s work colleagues and their wives. He is in big law/tech sort of job so everyone makes $$$.

Perhaps instead I will get a ring for my right hand or I was thinking of just getting a big chunky eternity ring to wear to alternate between the two.

My solution to this was to remake my engagement ring into a solitaire necklace and only wear my wedding ring.

It's tacky that you considered yourself "young and poor" and still had a 1.25 carat diamond in your engagement ring.

I’m going to go against the grain and say go ahead and upgrade if you want! You can always put the original diamond in a new right-hand ring setting or a pendant. What matters is your relationship, not whether the outward-facing symbol is the same as the original one. My husband, for example, has a beautiful custom-made wedding band that I helped him choose and 99.9% of the time he wears a silicone one instead. And I don’t give a fig! It’s his hand, after all, and we’re still married no matter what ring he’s wearing.

I find it fundamentally shallow and somewhat bizarre that you would look at the ring your husband gave you out of love so long ago (and that is a pretty classic engagement ring of good size, IMHO), after so many years of (presumably) happy marriage, and the memories of him giving it to you and how happy you were, and the wedding and everything, and think "I want something different now because this is too small."

And to read down thread that the source of your "unhappiness" with this ring is keeping up with the Joneses?

Not only do I think you should keep the ring you have, I think you should spend some time practicing gratitude and focusing on just how well you have it, and trying to give back.

Anonymous wrote:I have had my engagement ring for 16 years. Well before the lab diamond craze. It’s a 1.25 carat diamond with a 1 carat eternity band. I wear it with two more eternity bands. We got it when we were young and poor (26 and no real job).

Now with all of the lab diamonds and the large rings I sort of want to upgrade my engagement ring. But I wonder if that is tacky to replace the mined diamond with a larger lab grown diamond. Thoughts?

What is the point of asking randoms about this? It’s your hand that’s going to be wearing the ring, do what you like. Are you afraid people are going to stop in the street, point fingers and yell “tacky” at your lab diamond?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. My engagement ring is an antique art deco ring and I love it so much. I would never replace it.

My ring is also an antique ring like this. The diamond in it is flawed and low quality, but I haven't changed it because it's not important. What was important is that my DH knew me well enough to pick a ring like this for me. So I keep it just as it is.

Have to add that he didn't know the diamond wasn't great -- it's what he could afford at the time. It's also nice to remember those days because so much has changed since then.

Anonymous wrote:No way. My engagement ring is an antique art deco ring and I love it so much. I would never replace it.

My ring is also an antique ring like this. The diamond in it is flawed and low quality, but I haven't changed it because it's not important. What was important is that my DH knew me well enough to pick a ring like this for me. So I keep it just as it is.

Anonymous wrote:No way. My engagement ring is an antique art deco ring and I love it so much. I would never replace it.

Ooh, I'm sure it looks lovely.

My engagement diamond is 1ct and I think it's just the right size on my slender fingers. I'd rather buy a cool new ring than upgrade an existing one. I prefer sapphires over diamonds anyway...

What I did was just change the setting but kept the diamond. Diamonds are just worthless anyway and we couldn't have afforded a diamond upgrade anyway. I have a smallish diamond, 1.3 carats. Emerald cut. I put it in a simple, low profile east to west setting in 18k yellow, and it looks more modern and carefree. I can stack it with whatever I want and it still looks cool. I kind of made it my "anti" engagement ring. If you can't beat em, do something different.

I have a 1ct diamond ring DH bought 30 years ago. It is just the right size for my tiny skinny fingers. I have no desire to upgrade for both sentimental and practical reasons. DH did get a set of natural diamond studs and pendant necklace recently as he wanted to “upgrade”. None of the pieces are over 1ct individually, but in total, it is now 4 cts including the original engagement ring. I am super happy with everything. I am not crazy for size just for the sake of it.

I never really wanted a diamond but that’s what DH and I settled on. I liked it but it wasn’t what I really wanted, so five years in I did trade it for a sapphire and kept the original setting and wedding band. I like it much better now and the sapphire is actually the birth stone of all my kids so it’s kind of sentimental.

Gross.

Also, 1.5 carats is big.

Also, get a job.

Also, gross.

Well I did change it out but just adjusted the setting to be more modern- the diamond itself is the same but I added some extra tiny diamonds around it for a halo and lowered the setting. I used to not wear my ring because the solitaire setting was so high and snagged everything but now I wear it constantly. Very much worth it to me.

No way. My engagement ring is an antique art deco ring and I love it so much. I would never replace it.