Anonymous
04/16/2026 16:47
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the life of an introvert, OP. We’re forced to pretend to be someone we’re not in order to avoid judgment and make the people around us feel comfortable. Society is not built for reserved individuals whatsoever.
I'm an introvert. I'm not on social media at all, and don't care how nosy my coworkers are.
I don't think you understand OP's state of mind here. This is not an introversion problem.
It seems like she doesn’t want to be bothered or associate with people that she only knows through work. That’s her right, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You don’t care, but that doesn’t mean others don’t. I would also find it odd if colleagues were trying to friend me on social media. Also, who knows what she could be posting online that she might not want colleagues to see. She could have an OF or political posts for all we know.
Sure. But none of these things are directly associated with being introverted, which was your original point that I disputed.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 16:41
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the life of an introvert, OP. We’re forced to pretend to be someone we’re not in order to avoid judgment and make the people around us feel comfortable. Society is not built for reserved individuals whatsoever.
I'm an introvert. I'm not on social media at all, and don't care how nosy my coworkers are.
I don't think you understand OP's state of mind here. This is not an introversion problem.
It seems like she doesn’t want to be bothered or associate with people that she only knows through work. That’s her right, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You don’t care, but that doesn’t mean others don’t. I would also find it odd if colleagues were trying to friend me on social media. Also, who knows what she could be posting online that she might not want colleagues to see. She could have an OF or political posts for all we know.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 16:25
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the life of an introvert, OP. We’re forced to pretend to be someone we’re not in order to avoid judgment and make the people around us feel comfortable. Society is not built for reserved individuals whatsoever.
I'm an introvert. I'm not on social media at all, and don't care how nosy my coworkers are.
I don't think you understand OP's state of mind here. This is not an introversion problem.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 16:22
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:Is it weird to go by a different name in the workplace? I will be returning to the workforce soon for the first time after taking time off to stay at home with my daughter. At my previous place of employment, co-workers were uncomfortably close and nosy. They treated it more like a social event rather than a work environment. (In addition, there was a lot of gossip and drama as a result of that.) I had multiple co-workers send me friend requests on Facebook. One co-worker even found my baby registry.
I would like to ensure that my personal and professional lives are kept separate this time around. To be blunt, I'm not looking to make friends or socialize. I just want to do my job and then go home. I don't want prying co-workers to be able to find out information about my personal life online. Would it be weird to go by my middle name (which I never use in any other setting) to maintain some semblance of privacy?
You sound like my sister! I always tell her that she’s a ray of sunshine. 😂
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:59
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:Is it weird to go by a different name in the workplace? I will be returning to the workforce soon for the first time after taking time off to stay at home with my daughter. At my previous place of employment, co-workers were uncomfortably close and nosy. They treated it more like a social event rather than a work environment. (In addition, there was a lot of gossip and drama as a result of that.) I had multiple co-workers send me friend requests on Facebook. One co-worker even found my baby registry.
I would like to ensure that my personal and professional lives are kept separate this time around. To be blunt, I'm not looking to make friends or socialize. I just want to do my job and then go home. I don't want prying co-workers to be able to find out information about my personal life online. Would it be weird to go by my middle name (which I never use in any other setting) to maintain some semblance of privacy?
Imagine the gossip and curiosity that will ensue when your new co-workers find out that you’re trying to conceal your identity by using your middle name.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:51
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
I do the opposite; all my SM and online presence is in fake names. There’s a couple pieces of info from a few years back (people can see my old address and that I volunteered at a certain place) but that’s about it.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:50
Subject: Re:Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:Wait, so you are upset that your coworker found your registry so they could ... get you a gift? You seem unhinged.
It could be that she hadn’t announced her pregnancy to her boss and coworkers yet.
As a teacher, I waited as long as humanly possible to tell admin and my students.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:49
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Honestly, if it’s your legal middle name, I could find you regardless.
-not particularly nosy colleague but very good researcher
Lock down your socials. But in my workplace we are friendly but not friending each other online.
-not particularly nosy colleague but very good researcher
Lock down your socials. But in my workplace we are friendly but not friending each other online.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:45
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Yes, it’s weird. It’s also a sign you are secretly working another job during the day.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:41
Subject: Re:Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Wait, so you are upset that your coworker found your registry so they could ... get you a gift? You seem unhinged.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:38
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Welcome to the life of an introvert, OP. We’re forced to pretend to be someone we’re not in order to avoid judgment and make the people around us feel comfortable. Society is not built for reserved individuals whatsoever.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:37
Subject: Re:Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Anonymous wrote:I dont think you are ready to return to work.
Yes. Definitely sounding paranoid there, OP. Someone looked at your baby registry, the horror!
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:34
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Yes it would be very weird. But it sounds like you’re going to turn everyone off anyway so I wouldn’t worry about it.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:28
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
Your workplace will set up your email based on your legal name
My office might allow Susan (Eliza)@xxxxxx.com. They will. Not they will not set up an email for Eliza and then also send a w2 to Susan.
My office might allow Susan (Eliza)@xxxxxx.com. They will. Not they will not set up an email for Eliza and then also send a w2 to Susan.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 15:25
Subject: Going by a different name in the workplace? (prying co-workers)
It’s weird.