Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 12:49     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Not sure what differing views there might be. I'm married but still flirt with women because flattery is always appreciated. But it's not the same level of flirting as when I was a bachelor, in fact it's way toned down.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 12:16     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married people "safely" flirt all the time. Especially married dads. Maybe it adds some pep in their step, idk. Mentioning their DW gives them plausible deniability.

As PP upthread said, if you're enjoying it too, great. As a single mom I pivot quickly from these interactions.


Yes, it's fun. As a married woman, I enjoy it. No one is cheating on anyone. It just adds a little spice to our lives.


Immature attention seeking narcissistic leaning married people do this.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 12:03     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about you, but if I am speaking to someone of the opposite sex & they mention that they have a spouse or significant other, I usually take that as a direct sign they are not flirting w/me.

Does anyone else??


Yes, and sometimes I also wonder if THEY thought I was flirting with THEM.

I'm in a volunteer group with a guy and we were chatting and found out we have a ton of interests and an alma mater in common. We also live nearby so end up on the metro together after volunteering. He didn't do this at first but now often will mention his fiancee in conversations, never by name, which he's told me, just statements like "my fiancee likes that, too." Or "this weekend my fiancee and I are going to visit her parents."

I want to say to him, "bro, I'm 15 years older than you. Just want to be clear I'm being friendly, absolutely not interested." But instead I just throw "my husband" into conversations.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 11:54     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about you, but if I am speaking to someone of the opposite sex & they mention that they have a spouse or significant other, I usually take that as a direct sign they are not flirting w/me.

Does anyone else??


Are you single? I never take any man talking to me as flirting because I'm married and therefore I'm not interested. As a result, I don't take anything as "a sign."

I talked to a man last night for an hour on the phone. We had been talking on large group calls on a work project (we work for different firms on different sides of a transaction) and he emailed me asking if I had a minute for a follow-up question. I called him and we discussed the issue and then we discussed our jobs, our spouses, the current administration, etc. It would have been a pleasant date discussion I suppose but there was no "flirting," it was just a nice conversation with a person of the opposite sex. We have a lot in common and enjoyed sharing those things, that's it.

I wonder about the human interactions many of you have on a regular basis if you take every conversation with someone as them flirting with you.


Okay. I wouldn’t want a first date or any date to feel like making small talk with a work colleague.
Either you are downplaying this conversation and you were flirting, or you are one of those people who NEVER flirts with anyone, even your significant other.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 10:05     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about you, but if I am speaking to someone of the opposite sex & they mention that they have a spouse or significant other, I usually take that as a direct sign they are not flirting w/me.

Does anyone else??


Are you single? I never take any man talking to me as flirting because I'm married and therefore I'm not interested. As a result, I don't take anything as "a sign."

I talked to a man last night for an hour on the phone. We had been talking on large group calls on a work project (we work for different firms on different sides of a transaction) and he emailed me asking if I had a minute for a follow-up question. I called him and we discussed the issue and then we discussed our jobs, our spouses, the current administration, etc. It would have been a pleasant date discussion I suppose but there was no "flirting," it was just a nice conversation with a person of the opposite sex. We have a lot in common and enjoyed sharing those things, that's it.

I wonder about the human interactions many of you have on a regular basis if you take every conversation with someone as them flirting with you.


I’m married too, but I can tell if someone is flirting with me vs talking.
Like, I will talk with my co-workers about work, but if we all go out to a happy hour or something, there might be a little flirting. No one thinks it’s going to go anywhere, but it’s different.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 10:02     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:Friendly chatting with sexual energy. It doesn’t have to mean the person wants to date you, but it’s about the type of energy exchange.


Yes. I would say this is flirting. I mean, sometimes I flirt with my husband. It is a different way of talking than just chatting.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 07:43     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:Some people are just chatty. They can have a conversation with someone without it having any deeper meaning than being an interesting conversation.
Plus, some people are better with platonic relationships with everyone.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 07:36     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about you, but if I am speaking to someone of the opposite sex & they mention that they have a spouse or significant other, I usually take that as a direct sign they are not flirting w/me.

Does anyone else??


Are you single? I never take any man talking to me as flirting because I'm married and therefore I'm not interested. As a result, I don't take anything as "a sign."

I talked to a man last night for an hour on the phone. We had been talking on large group calls on a work project (we work for different firms on different sides of a transaction) and he emailed me asking if I had a minute for a follow-up question. I called him and we discussed the issue and then we discussed our jobs, our spouses, the current administration, etc. It would have been a pleasant date discussion I suppose but there was no "flirting," it was just a nice conversation with a person of the opposite sex. We have a lot in common and enjoyed sharing those things, that's it.

I wonder about the human interactions many of you have on a regular basis if you take every conversation with someone as them flirting with you.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 07:35     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:Good morning DCUM!

Curious to hear different thoughts on what's flirting VS being nice when chatting with a stranger in public (i.e., talking to a stranger in the grocery store).

Also, when they mention their DW/H but still ask about you and give deep looks/seem excited to see you.

Reason I ask is that I've been having more and more of these encounters and I've heard different thoughts from friends but wanted to see what those on here think!

Cheers!


This is not flirting. I treat everyone I like as a person this way, regardless of age or gender.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 07:31     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you 13? Have you really reached adulthood without managing to figure this out?


I'm not the only one because myself, and different friends I've spoke to have different opinions. I think a lot of it is subjective.


How many different opinions can there be? Most people don't want to sleep with you. Does that help?

I had a woman I ordered a cake from the other day who was overly enthusiastic and nice and kept wanting to talk. You think she wanted to hop into bed with me? I doubt it.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 07:29     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
Have you posted this before? It seems like there is a rash of fifth grade girls on DCUM lately who are obsessed with flirting. Get over yourself, that's my answer to you.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2026 04:38     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
I usually do too, but it also can mean they are flirting but warning you they aren't actually available.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2026 21:24     Subject: Re:Flirting VS Being Nice
I don’t know about you, but if I am speaking to someone of the opposite sex & they mention that they have a spouse or significant other, I usually take that as a direct sign they are not flirting w/me.

Does anyone else??
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2026 21:00     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Friendly chatting with sexual energy. It doesn’t have to mean the person wants to date you, but it’s about the type of energy exchange.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2026 17:22     Subject: Flirting VS Being Nice
Anonymous wrote:If you're talking with a stranger in a public place, you're flirting. Probably.


Seriously? You must lead a very lonely life. I am a total introvert but living in the city I find myself in conversations with strangers regularly. Chatting about flowers with someone at Trader Joe's, saying hello to people on their porch and chatting about their garden, dog, etc.
Humanity is pretty awful sometimes, but I find it's helpful to put the phone down and engage with the world around you.