Anonymous wrote:10 y/o DD gets good grades and is an all-around good kid for the most part. she's not a problem child. She is typical... sibling rivalry at times, frustrated being told no, hates that she doesn't always get her way, etc.

Now, this morning, I was doing their laundry. I went into the bedroom she shares with her 12 y/o sister and noticed her bed was a bit messy, so I went to make it a bit neater, since there seemed to be a lot of stuff under her covers. I discovered 3 pillows (I don't know why she needs so many... but whatever). - So I go to straighten them up and I discover a blanket folded up under the pillows. I pulled it out to put it back in the closet and her journal fell out of it. OK. So, I’m standing there with her journal in my hand. I opened it up. There weren't things in there that were too terrible, though she did go on a swearing rant about something that made her mad, but she knows better than to ever let me hear her swear.

But now I feel terribly guilty about my snooping. Would somebody out there please help me feel better about this? I do believe we need to keep an eye on our kids and who they are when they're not with us because like it or not, they only show us what they want us to see. Anyway, I didn't mean to do it. My mission in entering her room was innocent enough. So it's not like I went in to snoop.

So my question: Do you snoop on your kids? and then... what if I find something really disturbing in the coming years? I don’t want her to hide things from me, but if I found out she was kissing boys (or worse, other girls) or doing drugs, having sex, etc. I may have to come clean and tell her I know about it because I snooped just so I can address the behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all for snooping. I look at it this way snooping could save their life one day. How would you feel if you did not snoop and found out too late that they were doing drugs or being pressured into something they did not want to do? I have 2 teenage girls and I have no problem snooping once and a while. I call it cleaning their bedroom though! I trust my girls, but I also know that their is a lot of peer pressure at this age and I would like to feel I have done everything I could to keep them safe.

Honestly, same. That is IF you are good at it. Like put everything back *exactly* as you found it.

If school shooters’ parents snooped, things would probably be different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 y/o DD gets good grades and is an all-around good kid for the most part. she's not a problem child. She is typical... sibling rivalry at times, frustrated being told no, hates that she doesn't always get her way, etc.

Now, this morning, I was doing their laundry. I went into the bedroom she shares with her 12 y/o sister and noticed her bed was a bit messy, so I went to make it a bit neater, since there seemed to be a lot of stuff under her covers. I discovered 3 pillows (I don't know why she needs so many... but whatever). - So I go to straighten them up and I discover a blanket folded up under the pillows. I pulled it out to put it back in the closet and her journal fell out of it. OK. So, I’m standing there with her journal in my hand. I opened it up. There weren't things in there that were too terrible, though she did go on a swearing rant about something that made her mad, but she knows better than to ever let me hear her swear.

But now I feel terribly guilty about my snooping. Would somebody out there please help me feel better about this? I do believe we need to keep an eye on our kids and who they are when they're not with us because like it or not, they only show us what they want us to see. Anyway, I didn't mean to do it. My mission in entering her room was innocent enough. So it's not like I went in to snoop.

So my question: Do you snoop on your kids? and then... what if I find something really disturbing in the coming years? I don’t want her to hide things from me, but if I found out she was kissing boys (or worse, other girls) or doing drugs, having sex, etc. I may have to come clean and tell her I know about it because I snooped just so I can address the behavior.

Let's talk about the bolded, OP. Why is it worse if she's kissing girls? Why is kissing boys or girls on par with doing drugs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 y/o DD gets good grades and is an all-around good kid for the most part. she's not a problem child. She is typical... sibling rivalry at times, frustrated being told no, hates that she doesn't always get her way, etc.

Now, this morning, I was doing their laundry. I went into the bedroom she shares with her 12 y/o sister and noticed her bed was a bit messy, so I went to make it a bit neater, since there seemed to be a lot of stuff under her covers. I discovered 3 pillows (I don't know why she needs so many... but whatever). - So I go to straighten them up and I discover a blanket folded up under the pillows. I pulled it out to put it back in the closet and her journal fell out of it. OK. So, I’m standing there with her journal in my hand. I opened it up. There weren't things in there that were too terrible, though she did go on a swearing rant about something that made her mad, but she knows better than to ever let me hear her swear.

But now I feel terribly guilty about my snooping. Would somebody out there please help me feel better about this? I do believe we need to keep an eye on our kids and who they are when they're not with us because like it or not, they only show us what they want us to see. Anyway, I didn't mean to do it. My mission in entering her room was innocent enough. So it's not like I went in to snoop.

So my question: Do you snoop on your kids? and then... what if I find something really disturbing in the coming years? I don’t want her to hide things from me, but if I found out she was kissing boys (or worse, other girls) or doing drugs, having sex, etc. I may have to come clean and tell her I know about it because I snooped just so I can address the behavior.

Let's talk about the bolded, OP. Why is it worse if she's kissing girls? Why is kissing boys or girls on par with doing drugs?

Anonymous wrote:I am all for snooping. I look at it this way snooping could save their life one day. How would you feel if you did not snoop and found out too late that they were doing drugs or being pressured into something they did not want to do? I have 2 teenage girls and I have no problem snooping once and a while. I call it cleaning their bedroom though! I trust my girls, but I also know that their is a lot of peer pressure at this age and I would like to feel I have done everything I could to keep them safe.

Anonymous wrote:10 y/o DD gets good grades and is an all-around good kid for the most part. she's not a problem child. She is typical... sibling rivalry at times, frustrated being told no, hates that she doesn't always get her way, etc.

Now, this morning, I was doing their laundry. I went into the bedroom she shares with her 12 y/o sister and noticed her bed was a bit messy, so I went to make it a bit neater, since there seemed to be a lot of stuff under her covers. I discovered 3 pillows (I don't know why she needs so many... but whatever). - So I go to straighten them up and I discover a blanket folded up under the pillows. I pulled it out to put it back in the closet and her journal fell out of it. OK. So, I’m standing there with her journal in my hand. I opened it up. There weren't things in there that were too terrible, though she did go on a swearing rant about something that made her mad, but she knows better than to ever let me hear her swear.

But now I feel terribly guilty about my snooping. Would somebody out there please help me feel better about this? I do believe we need to keep an eye on our kids and who they are when they're not with us because like it or not, they only show us what they want us to see. Anyway, I didn't mean to do it. My mission in entering her room was innocent enough. So it's not like I went in to snoop.

So my question: Do you snoop on your kids? and then... what if I find something really disturbing in the coming years? I don’t want her to hide things from me, but if I found out she was kissing boys (or worse, other girls) or doing drugs, having sex, etc. I may have to come clean and tell her I know about it because I snooped just so I can address the behavior.