Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:54     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
18 year olds can’t cook?
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:40     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Somehow I feel obligated to have family dinner when he’s home. He loves to cook, eat, have dinner together.


Problem Solved.

Anonymous wrote:He loves to cook and will help if he gets home in time, but then there’s dishes and clean up.


"I have three teens, 18, 18 and 13"

Problem solved.

Anonymous wrote: I’m just tired of it.


Stop volunteering yourself. You have a teenager and 3 other adults in the house. Stop volunteering yourself.


Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:22     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm with you OP. It's kind of like a mini cooking vacation. Your kids are old enough to make their own meals or even make a meal for all of you.


Vacation from what? He does all the cooking. She just feels obligated to grace the family with her presence at meals when he’s there.


Never mind. I misread. Apologies op.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:17     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:I'm with you OP. It's kind of like a mini cooking vacation. Your kids are old enough to make their own meals or even make a meal for all of you.


Vacation from what? He does all the cooking. She just feels obligated to grace the family with her presence at meals when he’s there.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:14     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this dependent on your husband going out of town?


OP here. Somehow I feel obligated to have family dinner when he’s home. He loves to cook, eat, have dinner together. He loves to cook and will help if he gets home in time, but then there’s dishes and clean up. I’m just tired of it.

Where are your kids while cleanup is happening?
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:07     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
I'm with you OP. It's kind of like a mini cooking vacation. Your kids are old enough to make their own meals or even make a meal for all of you.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:06     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this dependent on your husband going out of town?


OP here. Somehow I feel obligated to have family dinner when he’s home. He loves to cook, eat, have dinner together. He loves to cook and will help if he gets home in time, but then there’s dishes and clean up. I’m just tired of it.


This feels like you value eating with him, and not your 13 year old. To me, that's not a message I would want to send. The idea that when one parent goes out of town the other becomes more absent, seems really backwards.

That isn't to say you have to cook a fancy meal like I would. You can put something together quick and easy and serve it on paper plates. But if your 13 year old is used to having family dinner, then it feels like he should still get a family dinner experience, even if it's bagels with cream cheese and some fruit.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:05     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Agree with the poster who said to have the kids cook the meals. Might as well teach them how to cook real meals.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 09:03     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:My kids are much younger teens and they tend to themselves about 25% of dinners.


She has a 13 year old. How much younger could your teens be and still be teens?

I agree that kids can cook.

Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 08:57     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you’re making dinner after work every night, no wonder you’re burned out. What I found that works for me is cooking a casserole on Sunday night (NYT and Pinch of Yum have healthy options), which feeds us for Monday and Tuesday. Wednesdays we do order out. Thursday morning I set up a crockpot meal that we eat on for dinner on Thursday and Saturday. Friday dinner is something easy, like pasta or sandwiches or homemade pizza. Sunday dinner I’ll do something like salmon or pot roast. It drastically cuts down on cooking during the work week and saves my sanity. We do repeat meals, but that a compromise we’ve leaned to live with.


She’s not though. He’s doing most of the cooking.

Op- I doubt he “loves to cook.” He wants the family to eat well and you don’t cook.

Now when he travels you’re refusing to cook. I feel like this belongs in one of the relationship forums, not food and cooking.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 08:29     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:I always say my favorite part of vacations is not having to cook. Having a family that you cook for is soul crushing and I honestly feel like it causes me anxiety all day figuring out what to cook. I also happen to have a family that doesn’t like having the same dinner two nights in a row so the whole “make enough for 2 meals” doesn’t work for us.

As my kids get older I am very much looking forward to having some of this pressure lifted.


How old are your kids? If they don’t want to eat the same meal twice, tell them they can make dinner one night. My kids are too young to cook, but when I gave my husband this option, he was more than happy to eat the same dinner two nights in a row.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 08:22     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
I always say my favorite part of vacations is not having to cook. Having a family that you cook for is soul crushing and I honestly feel like it causes me anxiety all day figuring out what to cook. I also happen to have a family that doesn’t like having the same dinner two nights in a row so the whole “make enough for 2 meals” doesn’t work for us.

As my kids get older I am very much looking forward to having some of this pressure lifted.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 08:14     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:My kids are much younger teens and they tend to themselves about 25% of dinners.


That’s so sad and such a missed opportunity for family togetherness.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 08:13     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is this dependent on your husband going out of town?


OP here. Somehow I feel obligated to have family dinner when he’s home. He loves to cook, eat, have dinner together. He loves to cook and will help if he gets home in time, but then there’s dishes and clean up. I’m just tired of it.


I think you need to decouple from this a bit and not feel the need to do big meals every night. One thing I do is make a meal big enough we can have it two nights in a row. Sandwiches and salads are a perfectly fine dinner too.

Your kids are also well old enough to do clean up, that was our rule when I was a teen, the person who cooks doesn't clean. My Dad worked late a lot but we'd do the dishes together a almost every night. I was a busy teen with homework and such but it doesn't take long with multiple people.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2026 08:08     Subject: DH is out of town next week and I’m not cooking.
OP, if you’re making dinner after work every night, no wonder you’re burned out. What I found that works for me is cooking a casserole on Sunday night (NYT and Pinch of Yum have healthy options), which feeds us for Monday and Tuesday. Wednesdays we do order out. Thursday morning I set up a crockpot meal that we eat on for dinner on Thursday and Saturday. Friday dinner is something easy, like pasta or sandwiches or homemade pizza. Sunday dinner I’ll do something like salmon or pot roast. It drastically cuts down on cooking during the work week and saves my sanity. We do repeat meals, but that a compromise we’ve leaned to live with.