Anonymous wrote:Use the same words you want him to use when you are old and try to move in with him and his family…

Anonymous wrote:How do I tell my 32 year old son who’s living with me for free that I’m ready for him to leave? I let him move in for free three months ago after his wife left him. He can afford a place of his own but still hasn’t

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32 and divorced? Fine, whatever. Living with mom and dad when he can afford his own place? I honestly don't even know, you'd have to go back much further but this is a Failson.

Stop.

Have you ever had an unexpected, traumatic setback (job/relationship/health)? Well, you will.
It is part of the human condition.

In an ideal world, your family of origin will offer you a safe place to regroup.

Anonymous wrote:Such an info less post. Why do you want him to leave? Are there any benefits to you? Is he struggling emotionally?

OP, do you talk with him?

My family had a very good experience when adult child moved in. They enjoyed each other. They didn’t like living in solo pods.

Anonymous wrote:32 and divorced? Fine, whatever. Living with mom and dad when he can afford his own place? I honestly don't even know, you'd have to go back much further but this is a Failson.

Anonymous wrote:I think at 3 months, I'd start with a conversation rather than a declaration.

"I know this has been a really hard time for you, and I'm glad I've been able to help you out. However, I don't think this arrangement is going to work for either of us indefinitely. Have you started thinking about what your next steps will be?"

Then listen. See where he is, what he's thinking. If he clearly hasn't thought much about it yet, it's fine to leave it there and come back to it a month later. "Have you thought more about what I said and what your next steps are?"

I wouldn't do anything like "Okay, you need to make other living arrangements by X date" until you've crossed the six month mark, at least, but I think it makes sense to start the conversation about it now.

It also may make sense to stop making it so cushy (if you have been). Ex: Are you doing all the cooking and cleaning? I think it simultaneously makes sense to start pushing some tasks over to him for the short term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would perhaps discuss with him that you want to have a timeline of when he'll be finding his own place. What is he waiting for?

AND is he irritating you, like leaving a mess in the kitchen for you to clean up, not doing his laundry and assuming you will, basically reverting back to his 15 year old self? Then I'd tell him THAT and say that as long as he starts living in the house like another adult, he's welcome to stay another 3 months, but then he needs to go.

Exactly this.