Op, it is so dangerous for those with dementia to be at home given the very high risk of elopement. You are doing the right thing by having your mom in a secure place with people to look after her even if her condition does not always allow her to realize it.

I love these Careblazers videos:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9DAdBE_ZhZw

Right on topic (about guilt).

I worked in a memory care and saw firsthand all that went into caring for the residents - and it was multi-disciplinary. That’s just too much for one person to manage at home. It’s not necessarily the best thing for your loved one.

Now that your parent is in memory care and you are no longer responsible for 24x7 care, there is more room for you to just enjoy your relationship. They are safe, and will have the ability to connect with others and socialize.

Honestly when a person needs memory care, it doesn’t matter what we do. It’s all palliative care at that point. If you want her there, let them medicate her for rage and don’t stay if she is raging.
If she were to stay at home, it wouldn’t really matter if she took meds or food.
Nothing matters at this stage except her comfort and yours.