Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 13:36     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's hard if frugality is deeply ingrained. I have a hard time spending money as well; I think I'm going to read that Die With Zero book to inspire me.


NP. This is the book that changed my life. I have always been frugal and a diligent saver. Always subscribed to "pay yourself first" and the more money I made, the more pressure I felt to save. I read that book two years ago and it drastically improved my life. I still save, but I spend now like never before. After years of doing no home improvements, not traveling much, and living far below our means, I have loosened up. Things I have done:

- Hired a personal chef. As two working parents, meals were a constant stressor. Every day it felt like I was calling my spouse to ask "What are we doing for dinner? Are we picking something up? Are you cooking?" Now we have a chef come once a week and prepare fresh cut fruit, vegetables, breakfasts, lunches for school/work and three dinners. She charges $500/day + the cost of groceries (about $400/week) so it comes to close to $4k/mo but it's been worth it to have this help, especially while our kids are still under our roof.

- Renovated kitchen and hired interior designer. Cost about $350k. Worth it to feel elated in the beauty of our home - definitely increased happiness more than looking at an extra $350k in our brokerage account.

- Took more trips and bigger trips. Splurge on first class experiences.

Die With Zero talks about spending money at the right time in your life. For us, now in our 40s with kids ranging from elementary to high school, it feels like these are our huge spending years, where money can make the most impact. Having nutritious food readily available, having a beautiful home for our family and making memories with our children as they grow up is worth the cost. I really deprived ourselves of this in favor of aggressive savings for a very long time.

What made me feel better about this is continuously updating our financial plan, showing what the financial future looks like based on keeping our savings rate the same (maxing out retirement plans, contributing a set amount to our brokerage account each month) rather than feeling compelled to keep saving more and more as our income climbs. For the first time, we are instead choosing to increase our standard of living rather than our savings rate and it's been a lot of fun.


How did you spend $350K on kitchen renovations and interior design alone? I've done a high end renovation of a 3.5K sq ft home (everything except windows replaced) and spent about $750K (and I have subzero in the kitchen and tons of cabinets)

But if you have it, spend it and enjoy


Kitchen was around $200k (knocked out a wall and doors, built bench eating, put in paneled/beamed ceilings, new windows, high end cabinets and counters). All new furniture for first floor. New front door, new floors, woodwork on the walls.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 12:41     Subject: Re:How to transition to spending more money
We bought a beach house and a boat. We also travel more often.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 12:16     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's hard if frugality is deeply ingrained. I have a hard time spending money as well; I think I'm going to read that Die With Zero book to inspire me.


NP. This is the book that changed my life. I have always been frugal and a diligent saver. Always subscribed to "pay yourself first" and the more money I made, the more pressure I felt to save. I read that book two years ago and it drastically improved my life. I still save, but I spend now like never before. After years of doing no home improvements, not traveling much, and living far below our means, I have loosened up. Things I have done:

- Hired a personal chef. As two working parents, meals were a constant stressor. Every day it felt like I was calling my spouse to ask "What are we doing for dinner? Are we picking something up? Are you cooking?" Now we have a chef come once a week and prepare fresh cut fruit, vegetables, breakfasts, lunches for school/work and three dinners. She charges $500/day + the cost of groceries (about $400/week) so it comes to close to $4k/mo but it's been worth it to have this help, especially while our kids are still under our roof.

- Renovated kitchen and hired interior designer. Cost about $350k. Worth it to feel elated in the beauty of our home - definitely increased happiness more than looking at an extra $350k in our brokerage account.

- Took more trips and bigger trips. Splurge on first class experiences.

Die With Zero talks about spending money at the right time in your life. For us, now in our 40s with kids ranging from elementary to high school, it feels like these are our huge spending years, where money can make the most impact. Having nutritious food readily available, having a beautiful home for our family and making memories with our children as they grow up is worth the cost. I really deprived ourselves of this in favor of aggressive savings for a very long time.

What made me feel better about this is continuously updating our financial plan, showing what the financial future looks like based on keeping our savings rate the same (maxing out retirement plans, contributing a set amount to our brokerage account each month) rather than feeling compelled to keep saving more and more as our income climbs. For the first time, we are instead choosing to increase our standard of living rather than our savings rate and it's been a lot of fun.


How did you spend $350K on kitchen renovations and interior design alone? I've done a high end renovation of a 3.5K sq ft home (everything except windows replaced) and spent about $750K (and I have subzero in the kitchen and tons of cabinets)

But if you have it, spend it and enjoy
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 12:00     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:When you have been diligent savers your entire adult life and income is higher than you expected. We want to spend more of our money and just sort of feel paralyzed by the choices and also path dependence. I realize this is a good problem to have but has anyone else BTDT and succeeded in upping the lifestyle in a meaningful (to them) way? Brands and impressing the neighbors don’t matter to us - we are looking for things that would actually improve our life. Appreciate any ideas.


Pay money to remove suffering.

Invest in your health. If you are busy, pay to save time.

Pay people who put good into the world.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 11:56     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:It's hard if frugality is deeply ingrained. I have a hard time spending money as well; I think I'm going to read that Die With Zero book to inspire me.


Definately a good read! Your kids will thank you, as money in their 20s is much more impactful than at 50+ when you die. It can change their life trajectory
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 11:52     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
It would be so helpful if people on this thread posted their net worth. I don't know when it is ok to start to spend. We are in our 40s with a 4.5M networth and I wonder if I should just loosen up and let go a little bit. How do you know if it is time? Our 40s with young kids have been so insanely expensive and I have been feeling guilty about it.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 11:31     Subject: Re:How to transition to spending more money
This reminds me of my MIL. She has always been insanely cheap, grabs whatever money she can, never picks up the check and certainly never gave a cent to her kids while always finding ways to her kids to pay a bill or expense for her. She is sitting on millions and has been saying how she wants to figure out how to spend more on herself. Her solution has been to buy overpriced crap in airport stores, funnel money into grifter sibling’s latest investment (con), and buy more properties she won’t maintain for passive income she doesn’t need. It will all be gone by the time she goes and nothing will go to her grandkids or adult children because in her mind money flowed down for her but flows up from her kids.

My suggestion is rather than changing your lifestyle, how about starting investment or college savings accounts for your grandchildren.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 11:21     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:We’re savers and are strategic with our spending. We’ve reached the point where we can spend the extra buck. For us, that happens a bit more with travel. We’ll spend the extra buck for a nonstop flight at better times. But we don’t fly first class. We also spend the extra buck at nicer hotels but not necessarily luxury hotels..as it’s just not us.

Spending money on more expensive different things might not make us happier, but going the extra buck on things we would spend money on anyway makes things…nicer.


It is about spending on what matters to you and also what you can afford.

We now go business/first 95% of the time. We can afford it. But if it's under a 3 hour flight, we won't pay for it unless it's only a few hundred (not paying $500 extra for a 2.5 hour flight)

We don't just randomly spend--we spend on things that matter to us
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 10:27     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:When you have been diligent savers your entire adult life and income is higher than you expected. We want to spend more of our money and just sort of feel paralyzed by the choices and also path dependence. I realize this is a good problem to have but has anyone else BTDT and succeeded in upping the lifestyle in a meaningful (to them) way? Brands and impressing the neighbors don’t matter to us - we are looking for things that would actually improve our life. Appreciate any ideas.


This seems strange to post.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 10:21     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Anonymous wrote:It's hard if frugality is deeply ingrained. I have a hard time spending money as well; I think I'm going to read that Die With Zero book to inspire me.


NP. This is the book that changed my life. I have always been frugal and a diligent saver. Always subscribed to "pay yourself first" and the more money I made, the more pressure I felt to save. I read that book two years ago and it drastically improved my life. I still save, but I spend now like never before. After years of doing no home improvements, not traveling much, and living far below our means, I have loosened up. Things I have done:

- Hired a personal chef. As two working parents, meals were a constant stressor. Every day it felt like I was calling my spouse to ask "What are we doing for dinner? Are we picking something up? Are you cooking?" Now we have a chef come once a week and prepare fresh cut fruit, vegetables, breakfasts, lunches for school/work and three dinners. She charges $500/day + the cost of groceries (about $400/week) so it comes to close to $4k/mo but it's been worth it to have this help, especially while our kids are still under our roof.

- Renovated kitchen and hired interior designer. Cost about $350k. Worth it to feel elated in the beauty of our home - definitely increased happiness more than looking at an extra $350k in our brokerage account.

- Took more trips and bigger trips. Splurge on first class experiences.

Die With Zero talks about spending money at the right time in your life. For us, now in our 40s with kids ranging from elementary to high school, it feels like these are our huge spending years, where money can make the most impact. Having nutritious food readily available, having a beautiful home for our family and making memories with our children as they grow up is worth the cost. I really deprived ourselves of this in favor of aggressive savings for a very long time.

What made me feel better about this is continuously updating our financial plan, showing what the financial future looks like based on keeping our savings rate the same (maxing out retirement plans, contributing a set amount to our brokerage account each month) rather than feeling compelled to keep saving more and more as our income climbs. For the first time, we are instead choosing to increase our standard of living rather than our savings rate and it's been a lot of fun.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 09:22     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
I know that this sounds crazy, but I started with food. I used to try to save money on food. I wouldn't buy expensive fruit out of season, but just said F it, I want fruit, we can afford it, I'm buying the fruit.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 09:14     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
It’s funny you posted this, OP, because I was coming to post something similar.

My husband was recently promoted and his next paycheck will show the increase. This weekend we were at a specialty grocery store and I saw a jar of $10 fruit preserves and proclaimed, in a joking way that, *this* is how we will spend the extra money! No more Smuckers for us!

But in all seriousness, I do plan to save a little and boost our emergency savings, which has always been a little weak. I’d like to add on one smaller, road trip-type vacation every year. I no longer want to brand compare or consider the cuts of meat I buy.

We already save a ton for retirement, our priority, so this will feel like a luxury no matter how we spend it.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 08:55     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Send me the money and I’ll spend it for you.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2026 18:05     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
Some things that I have done:
I upgraded my knife set
I upgraded towels and sheets
We get the extra leg room on flights or upgrade to business class
We donate 5% of gross income to non profits we like
We have an every other week cleaning person
We have someone who takes care of our lawn.
I buy food and flowers from local producers.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2026 17:16     Subject: How to transition to spending more money
It's hard if frugality is deeply ingrained. I have a hard time spending money as well; I think I'm going to read that Die With Zero book to inspire me.