Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 13:25     Subject: Am I being unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry my wording wasn’t the best in the original post. When he asked to come over it was around noon. We didn’t agree on an exact time when he’d come. He said he had to shower and eat and could come after. Then 4 hours later he texted and said he was caught up with his niece (no further details). Then today told me what happened.

I just feel like what was the point of initiating us spending time together?


Are you dating a guy I broke up with? Same MO. Nice guy overall but never understood that. It could be genuine ADHD, a selfishness, or it could be he was still married. Still don't know to this day.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 08:42     Subject: Am I being unreasonable?
Yes, this is really bad. What a loser. Send him the divorce papers.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 01:58     Subject: Am I being unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it annoying? Absolutely. But if it’s not a regular thing with him, I’d just let it go and chalk it up to sometimes it’s hard to predict/plan when people are visiting. Now you know that next time you should insist on him focusing on his visitors. I wouldn’t make a federal case out of it.


+1 He may have really wanted to see you, and then felt torn and just did f handle it well. If it’s not a pattern I’d let it go.


I also agree if it was just this time. He maybe didn't understand that OP would truly have preferred him blocking this week to just focus on his niece (rather than make tentative plans or flake on her) and was trying to bite off more than he could chew by insisting that he could also make time for OP, then got caught up with his niece and didn't realize her friends needed rides home, or whatever. If he doesn't do this regularly and he also understands and is apologetic, you can work with that,


I agree, and think he just should have contacted her sooner to say it wasn't going to according to his expectations and he couldn't make it after all
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 01:56     Subject: Am I being unreasonable?
Don't be so rigid about him breaking the plan. Stuff happens. Plans sometimes have to fall through. He was doing something good; it's not like he was just drinking with his buddies. He mint not have initially realized how the conflict would occur. The problem with what he did is that he didn't communicate to you that he was stuck or that he could foresee getting stuck. It's a communication issue, not a commitment issue.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2026 01:01     Subject: Re:Am I being unreasonable?
Yes I WOULD be annoyed.

I personally am annoyed when people flake on me - excluding actual emergencies.

If this is a one-off thing w/him, I could let it go for now.
However if he does it again - - it might be time for me to rethink staying w/someone who thinks nothing of flaking out.