I had a kid who didn't want to go to sleep at night. The only thing that worked was sitting in his room until he fell asleep. I would sit in the dark and read DCUM on my phone under a blanket. It usually took 30 - 45 min.

We’ve had a similar issue with my 2.5 yo DC, though not as extreme (usually asleep by 9:30). Honestly the only real factor we’ve found makes a difference is the amount of time she is awake between nap and falling asleep (needs to be about 6 hours for her). We are lucky enough to have some flexibility with that because we have a nanny. But two additional thoughts:

1.) Can you put the railing back on her crib? My DC is still in a crib (lowest setting) and hasn’t tried to escape, so even on her worst night she’s just playing by herself in her crib with the lights off.

2.) I second the suggestion from above re try cuddling her asleep for a few nights, then try to wean back from that. I still rock my DC to sleep when she’s sick, or hold her hand until she’s asleep. May be worth a shot?

3.) You may not have the space available, but consider taking everything out of her room: books, dresser, everything but her bed and one blanket. Boredom may force her to sleep faster. Again, doesn’t have to be forever, just until she’s in a better rhythm.

Does she play by herself in there or is she coming out/trying to escape/trying to get you to engage? Is it possible that she needs some time to unwind by herself? If she's in daycare all day, shares a room with her brother, and gets 2.5 hours of parent/family time this chaos time might be the only time she gets to just do what she wants on her own. Maybe declare 7-7:30 to be her time when no one is allowed to bother her and she can play what she wants (as long as its safe) in her room.

This advice is not based on my experience with my children, I'm basing it on my own self-destructive need to stay up late to get time to putter around on my own. I can't power down until I've had some alone time.

If it's a can't get her to just be still problem, we've had good luck with audio books, but it sounds like you've already tried that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m all for earlier bedtimes compared to most but if your kid is napping at daycare you need to plan on a later bedtime.

I’d aim for in bed at 8/815 lights out 830-845.
If she doesn’t nap on weekends then in bed at 645-7 lights out by 715.
At this point the habits she’s created of stalling on nap days are habits on no nap days too. You need to break the cycle.
Maybe put a small toy or piece of candy in sight in her room bur out of reach. Tell her if she doesn’t get up until morning she can have it. BUT set her up for success, not in bed at 730 when she’s had a 2 hour nap.

I don’t think’s ready for the delayed gratification reward. She’s not even motivated by things like sticker charts. She IS motivated by candy but that’s obviously not an option. 😂

We have been trying various bedtimes over the past three months. We adjust the routine and give it several days and see no difference. The routine is consistent. She has just now, at 10:30, set up her blanket on the floor and tucked herself in for bed.

Does the routine involve reading and winding down? It sounds like you aren't teaching her to lie down and relax slowly and are opting for her just running out of gas and lying down from exhaustion on her own. Bottom line is that you don't have to be a jerk to be in charge and teach them stuff. They literally don't know how to do things until you show them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

Any time that you are willing to tell her that she needs to be in bed with you while you read to her. It just kind of sounds like she is in charge. You may need to practice being the parent. Then you read several books and she gets sleepy. You say I will stay until you fall asleep.

Have you tried cuddling her to sleep one night? I don't do it every night, but when my 3 year old is over tired we tend to have a bed time routine that matches yours, when he is generally well rested he sticks to his normal sleep schedule on his own (I'm literally typing this after he just turned to me and said "going to my bed now" and got up from his chair and went down for a nap and I haven't moved). Last night, he was overtired and I was too tired to deal so I just curled up with him in bed. Of course he flailed around at first, but it wasn't long before we were both asleep and at 9:30 I got back up and cleaned the kitchen. He ended up sleeping in until almost 8am today with no issue and is back on his normal schedule.

Obviously you don't want it to become the only way she falls asleep, but maybe just a few nights until she can catch up then wean her back into a normal bedtime routine.

Anonymous wrote:What about a bedtime music Playlist? At that age my kid.would sort of sing himself to sleep to his Playlist.

Consistency is also a big thing. Try to get ubto a routine and stick to it.

I tried bedtime songs but she would scream because she wanted one particular song. Or want us to change songs. I tried the classical playlist they use for naptime and I don’t think it helps but she doesn’t scream about it.

She does have a Yoto but pulls the cards out and pushes the buttons—she won’t just lay and listen to the stories or music.

We have the same consistent routine we’ve been using for years.

Anonymous wrote:I’m all for earlier bedtimes compared to most but if your kid is napping at daycare you need to plan on a later bedtime.

I’d aim for in bed at 8/815 lights out 830-845.
If she doesn’t nap on weekends then in bed at 645-7 lights out by 715.
At this point the habits she’s created of stalling on nap days are habits on no nap days too. You need to break the cycle.
Maybe put a small toy or piece of candy in sight in her room bur out of reach. Tell her if she doesn’t get up until morning she can have it. BUT set her up for success, not in bed at 730 when she’s had a 2 hour nap.

I don’t think’s ready for the delayed gratification reward. She’s not even motivated by things like sticker charts. She IS motivated by candy but that’s obviously not an option. 😂

We have been trying various bedtimes over the past three months. We adjust the routine and give it several days and see no difference. The routine is consistent. She has just now, at 10:30, set up her blanket on the floor and tucked herself in for bed.

Anonymous wrote:Are screens part of your after daycare routine? If so, cut them out. For one of my kids, the screen absolutely woke them up and caused issues falling asleep. Once we cut out the after daycare screen time, it was much much better.

Give it a week, I bet you’ll see a difference.

Minimal screen time and only at home. Nothing at daycare. Like 5 minutes of Ms. Rachel or Sesame Street in the morning while I do her hair.

Are screens part of your after daycare routine? If so, cut them out. For one of my kids, the screen absolutely woke them up and caused issues falling asleep. Once we cut out the after daycare screen time, it was much much better.

Give it a week, I bet you’ll see a difference.

I’m all for earlier bedtimes compared to most but if your kid is napping at daycare you need to plan on a later bedtime.

I’d aim for in bed at 8/815 lights out 830-845.
If she doesn’t nap on weekends then in bed at 645-7 lights out by 715.
At this point the habits she’s created of stalling on nap days are habits on no nap days too. You need to break the cycle.
Maybe put a small toy or piece of candy in sight in her room bur out of reach. Tell her if she doesn’t get up until morning she can have it. BUT set her up for success, not in bed at 730 when she’s had a 2 hour nap.

What about a bedtime music Playlist? At that age my kid.would sort of sing himself to sleep to his Playlist.

Consistency is also a big thing. Try to get ubto a routine and stick to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is not cranky during the day, falling asleep in the car for short car trips, you probably have a low normal sleep needs kid.

None of my kids were asleep before 8pm on the dot. The daycare nap is stealing night time sleep.

I had to end my 3 year old's nap when I brought his baby sister home from the hospital and he was keeping me up at 10:30pm.

She can be very cranky. And she’ll fall asleep in the car before we are out of the driveway. She also wakes up cranky if she doesn’t wake on her own.

Earlier bedtime. Sounds like she’s overtired. If you miss the window they get a burst of adrenaline and then can’t sleep.

We have also tried that (7pm) and it just prolongs bedtime.

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is not cranky during the day, falling asleep in the car for short car trips, you probably have a low normal sleep needs kid.

None of my kids were asleep before 8pm on the dot. The daycare nap is stealing night time sleep.

I had to end my 3 year old's nap when I brought his baby sister home from the hospital and he was keeping me up at 10:30pm.

She can be very cranky. And she’ll fall asleep in the car before we are out of the driveway. She also wakes up cranky if she doesn’t wake on her own.

Earlier bedtime. Sounds like she’s overtired. If you miss the window they get a burst of adrenaline and then can’t sleep.