Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:39
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:4.1 weighted (school does not do UW), maxed out rigor, and involved in activities. Applied as an IR/gov/polisci major to UVA, William and Mary, and Virginia tech and was outright denied by UVA and W&M. VT waitlisted but as far as I know they have no ‘spring waitlist’ program or separate campus like UVA wise you can go to for a year instead.
The only thing I can think of that could be the cause of this is my daughter’s name, which sounds Asian American despite her being Caucasian. Her first name is a name that some people have said is a stereotypical Asian name (think Alice or Christina), and our last name is Lee, which could be either white or Asian Korean.
In our case, it’s white, but people have said in the past when they have seen my daughter’s name but not my daughter (at first meetings, summer camp, etc) that they were expecting an Asian girl based on her name.
My husband thinks I sound like I need to be medicated, but I floated the idea of taking a gap year and changing either my daughter’s first or last name to be more explicitly Caucasian. She was open to it and is very young for her cohort anyway so it wouldn’t make her feel out of place later.
Am I out of line here? I’m not saying that it’s right that there may be a disadvantage for Asian Americans, but I don’t want my daughter to be harmed by any sort of biases.
Did she at least get in some good privates? JHU? Rice? Emory? Vandy? and top liberal arts colleges?
With a 4.1W? No way. Scores are most likely 1150-1350 with that GPA, depending on the high school
OP here.
To answer many questions:
- She did not apply to Case Western.
- The reason I expected better results is because her older brothers had similar stats (and one slightly lower stats) and they both got into their colleges of choice.
- Her SAT score was 710 Verbal, 730 Math, which I thought was right at the median for UVA and William and Mary and above the average for Virginia Tech.
OK, score is a fit for those schools but the GPA is very low as everyone has said
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:39
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
And now I’m adding multiple posts but rather than being hysterical and telling your DH you are changing names, you could just enroll her in a community college and transfer. That would be easier.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:38
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:4.1 weighted (school does not do UW), maxed out rigor, and involved in activities. Applied as an IR/gov/polisci major to UVA, William and Mary, and Virginia tech and was outright denied by UVA and W&M. VT waitlisted but as far as I know they have no ‘spring waitlist’ program or separate campus like UVA wise you can go to for a year instead.
The only thing I can think of that could be the cause of this is my daughter’s name, which sounds Asian American despite her being Caucasian. Her first name is a name that some people have said is a stereotypical Asian name (think Alice or Christina), and our last name is Lee, which could be either white or Asian Korean.
In our case, it’s white, but people have said in the past when they have seen my daughter’s name but not my daughter (at first meetings, summer camp, etc) that they were expecting an Asian girl based on her name.
My husband thinks I sound like I need to be medicated, but I floated the idea of taking a gap year and changing either my daughter’s first or last name to be more explicitly Caucasian. She was open to it and is very young for her cohort anyway so it wouldn’t make her feel out of place later.
Am I out of line here? I’m not saying that it’s right that there may be a disadvantage for Asian Americans, but I don’t want my daughter to be harmed by any sort of biases.
Did she at least get in some good privates? JHU? Rice? Emory? Vandy? and top liberal arts colleges?
OP here.
My husband has more than 700,000 in non-primary home assets that are tied up for at least the next 5 years due to a death in the family. We can’t use the money and we can’t store it somewhere colleges wouldn’t see/count it against us. So it’s either in state or sacrifice quality because we aren’t getting need based or probably merit based aid.
Did she apply to Case Western? DC got 50k merit. Many received 37K scholarship.
Grinnel, Rochester, and some more.
It's Grinnell with two ls, not one, and they're more selective than any of the schools that rejected her. They're not giving her merit aid. Why do people persist in giving such nonsensical advice?
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:38
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:My white-Asian kid with an Asian last name, who wrote of his ethnic background in his personal statement, was accepted from Maryland to W&M, dual degree programme with St Andrews, International Relations major. He had a 4.6 wGPA and a 35 out of 36 on his ACT.
I think it's the stats, not the last name, OP.
And my unhooked wasian kid got into multiple top 10s, attends an ivy with tons and tons of unhooked asians, all in stem.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:38
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Agree Asians are held to a higher standard. Many anglicize their last names to sound white.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:37
Subject: Re:Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Agreed- assuming you are at a public bc if you got this crap advice and paid for a private - ugh. Were her test scores so high that counselor thought it would out weigh the 4.1w? Or leadership or national awards?
There are plenty of out of state schools that with a bit of merit money, or applying for a bajillion different scholarships that are out there, could have worked finanically.
And plenty of other strong VA schools that may have been options (VCU, JMU, CNU, Mary Wash, GMU...).
Is she in anywhere??
There are plenty of out of state schools that with a bit of merit money, or applying for a bajillion different scholarships that are out there, could have worked finanically.
And plenty of other strong VA schools that may have been options (VCU, JMU, CNU, Mary Wash, GMU...).
Is she in anywhere??
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:37
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:4.1 weighted (school does not do UW), maxed out rigor, and involved in activities. Applied as an IR/gov/polisci major to UVA, William and Mary, and Virginia tech and was outright denied by UVA and W&M. VT waitlisted but as far as I know they have no ‘spring waitlist’ program or separate campus like UVA wise you can go to for a year instead.
The only thing I can think of that could be the cause of this is my daughter’s name, which sounds Asian American despite her being Caucasian. Her first name is a name that some people have said is a stereotypical Asian name (think Alice or Christina), and our last name is Lee, which could be either white or Asian Korean.
In our case, it’s white, but people have said in the past when they have seen my daughter’s name but not my daughter (at first meetings, summer camp, etc) that they were expecting an Asian girl based on her name.
My husband thinks I sound like I need to be medicated, but I floated the idea of taking a gap year and changing either my daughter’s first or last name to be more explicitly Caucasian. She was open to it and is very young for her cohort anyway so it wouldn’t make her feel out of place later.
Am I out of line here? I’m not saying that it’s right that there may be a disadvantage for Asian Americans, but I don’t want my daughter to be harmed by any sort of biases.
Did she at least get in some good privates? JHU? Rice? Emory? Vandy? and top liberal arts colleges?
With a 4.1W? No way. Scores are most likely 1150-1350 with that GPA, depending on the high school
OP here.
To answer many questions:
- She did not apply to Case Western.
- The reason I expected better results is because her older brothers had similar stats (and one slightly lower stats) and they both got into their colleges of choice.
- Her SAT score was 710 Verbal, 730 Math, which I thought was right at the median for UVA and William and Mary and above the average for Virginia Tech.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:36
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear your DD with the college application process. As a white person married to an Asian I rethink it is possible for your DD’s name to be working against her. Sometimes I wish my kids had a white last name. I would talk to your DD and see what she wants to do.
My DD is also having a sad experience with college applications and it’s so stressful and heartbreaking to watch.
Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!
But here it's the stats.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:36
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
She can still apply to many of the others. Look, we get it. You wanted one of the top 3. We all do. It didn’t work out. Now it’s time for plan B.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:36
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:😆😆😆😆 You do realize being white or Asian is both a disadvantage?
OP here.
My husband said exactly this (are you him, ha!) and I’ll tell you what I told him.
If you look at all the data that has been released, it’s clear that Asians are at more of a disadvantage than whites. The magnitude varies, but it’s always greater than whites.
You're Asian, not white. Do you think we're idiots?
OP here. Why would I post this if I was Asian?
Because everybody comes here and lies.
But assuming you're not lying, let me spell it out for you. A 4.1 weighted GPA is low for these schools. And you haven't even mentioned the test scores so I'm betting they were low too. Was she test optional?
There's JMU, VCU, Mary Washington and Mason. If you knew OOS wasn't feasible she should have applied to them. Nobody feels sorry for you if she didn't. Piss poor planning on your part.
But this much is a given: you can change her name to the whitest sounded name in America and she still ain't getting into these schools. Nobody rejected her thinking she's Asian.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:35
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:😆😆😆😆 You do realize being white or Asian is both a disadvantage?
OP here.
My husband said exactly this (are you him, ha!) and I’ll tell you what I told him.
If you look at all the data that has been released, it’s clear that Asians are at more of a disadvantage than whites. The magnitude varies, but it’s always greater than whites.
You're Asian, not white. Do you think we're idiots?
OP here. Why would I post this if I was Asian?
Stop it, you two. Race has no bearing on this.
Your kid was found wanting. The GPA is borderline, so I'm guessing the rest of the application failed to compensate. Maybe essays were non-specific. Maybe the extra-curriculars were generalist and scattered. I notice you don't share her test scores, so if she's test-optional, that's the kiss of death.
There's just so much you're not telling us, OP. It's pretty obvious that you did not understand what level of rigor was necessary to get into such places nowadays.
What you mustn't do is beggar your household for an OOS college, unless one comes through with huge merit. She will attend a lower tier in-state and be a big fish in a small pond.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:34
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:4.1 weighted (school does not do UW), maxed out rigor, and involved in activities. Applied as an IR/gov/polisci major to UVA, William and Mary, and Virginia tech and was outright denied by UVA and W&M. VT waitlisted but as far as I know they have no ‘spring waitlist’ program or separate campus like UVA wise you can go to for a year instead.
The only thing I can think of that could be the cause of this is my daughter’s name, which sounds Asian American despite her being Caucasian. Her first name is a name that some people have said is a stereotypical Asian name (think Alice or Christina), and our last name is Lee, which could be either white or Asian Korean.
In our case, it’s white, but people have said in the past when they have seen my daughter’s name but not my daughter (at first meetings, summer camp, etc) that they were expecting an Asian girl based on her name.
My husband thinks I sound like I need to be medicated, but I floated the idea of taking a gap year and changing either my daughter’s first or last name to be more explicitly Caucasian. She was open to it and is very young for her cohort anyway so it wouldn’t make her feel out of place later.
Am I out of line here? I’m not saying that it’s right that there may be a disadvantage for Asian Americans, but I don’t want my daughter to be harmed by any sort of biases.
Did she at least get in some good privates? JHU? Rice? Emory? Vandy? and top liberal arts colleges?
With a 4.1W? No way. Scores are most likely 1150-1350 with that GPA, depending on the high school
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:32
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:4.1 weighted (school does not do UW), maxed out rigor, and involved in activities. Applied as an IR/gov/polisci major to UVA, William and Mary, and Virginia tech and was outright denied by UVA and W&M. VT waitlisted but as far as I know they have no ‘spring waitlist’ program or separate campus like UVA wise you can go to for a year instead.
The only thing I can think of that could be the cause of this is my daughter’s name, which sounds Asian American despite her being Caucasian. Her first name is a name that some people have said is a stereotypical Asian name (think Alice or Christina), and our last name is Lee, which could be either white or Asian Korean.
In our case, it’s white, but people have said in the past when they have seen my daughter’s name but not my daughter (at first meetings, summer camp, etc) that they were expecting an Asian girl based on her name.
My husband thinks I sound like I need to be medicated, but I floated the idea of taking a gap year and changing either my daughter’s first or last name to be more explicitly Caucasian. She was open to it and is very young for her cohort anyway so it wouldn’t make her feel out of place later.
Am I out of line here? I’m not saying that it’s right that there may be a disadvantage for Asian Americans, but I don’t want my daughter to be harmed by any sort of biases.
Yes you are out of line. I have seen data from several publics, TJ, and some privates. 4.1W at most of these is below average. You read that right. The GPA is in the bottom half of the graduating class. For in-state virginia high schools. UVA, WM, VT do not accept from the bottom half.
At some schools 4.1W is barely top third, and at those schools, typically private schools that give 0.5 boost for Honors and AP, Virginia Tech is possible but UVA and WM are not. The latter two typically want top 20-25%, and if on the lower end the rigor has to be near the top in the grade.
You received bad advice if you were told 4.1W made UVA or WM anything other than reaches.
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:31
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Sorry to hear your DD with the college application process. As a white person married to an Asian I rethink it is possible for your DD’s name to be working against her. Sometimes I wish my kids had a white last name. I would talk to your DD and see what she wants to do.
My DD is also having a sad experience with college applications and it’s so stressful and heartbreaking to watch.
Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!
My DD is also having a sad experience with college applications and it’s so stressful and heartbreaking to watch.
Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!
Anonymous
03/25/2026 20:30
Subject: Rejected from Virginia publics—am I out of line?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:4.1 weighted (school does not do UW), maxed out rigor, and involved in activities. Applied as an IR/gov/polisci major to UVA, William and Mary, and Virginia tech and was outright denied by UVA and W&M. VT waitlisted but as far as I know they have no ‘spring waitlist’ program or separate campus like UVA wise you can go to for a year instead.
The only thing I can think of that could be the cause of this is my daughter’s name, which sounds Asian American despite her being Caucasian. Her first name is a name that some people have said is a stereotypical Asian name (think Alice or Christina), and our last name is Lee, which could be either white or Asian Korean.
In our case, it’s white, but people have said in the past when they have seen my daughter’s name but not my daughter (at first meetings, summer camp, etc) that they were expecting an Asian girl based on her name.
My husband thinks I sound like I need to be medicated, but I floated the idea of taking a gap year and changing either my daughter’s first or last name to be more explicitly Caucasian. She was open to it and is very young for her cohort anyway so it wouldn’t make her feel out of place later.
Am I out of line here? I’m not saying that it’s right that there may be a disadvantage for Asian Americans, but I don’t want my daughter to be harmed by any sort of biases.
Did she at least get in some good privates? JHU? Rice? Emory? Vandy? and top liberal arts colleges?
OP here.
My husband has more than 700,000 in non-primary home assets that are tied up for at least the next 5 years due to a death in the family. We can’t use the money and we can’t store it somewhere colleges wouldn’t see/count it against us. So it’s either in state or sacrifice quality because we aren’t getting need based or probably merit based aid.
Did she apply to Case Western? DC got 50k merit. Many received 37K scholarship.
Grinnel, Rochester, and some more.