Anonymous wrote:Body dysmorphia and disordered eating are problematic, but so is being overweight or obese. The body positivity movement that encouraged us to relax about being fat didn’t favors for our visceral organs, arteries or joints. Your brain may feel happier, but your knees and livers de decidedly do not.

I’ve never thought of the body positivity movement as encouraging people to be relaxed about being fat, but more about accepting the way your body naturally wants to be (when you’re eating balanced meals and moving your body regularly).

Many of our mothers who are now in their 70s and 80s had to constantly restrict their natural appetites and/or smoke cigarettes to remain thin. And strenuous exercise was frowned upon—too masculine! So while their small waists might have made them look healthier than a fat person, that definitely wasn’t necessarily the case.

Body dysmorphia and disordered eating are problematic, but so is being overweight or obese. The body positivity movement that encouraged us to relax about being fat didn’t favors for our visceral organs, arteries or joints. Your brain may feel happier, but your knees and livers de decidedly do not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 70ish mom is obsessed with weight and always has been. The first (and sometimes only) thing she reports on after she gets together with members of the extended family is who has gained or lost weight. She calls any woman above a size 6 a "big girl."

my 70 old mom will remind me every 10 months that I am morbidly obese. I am 40 and 120lb. 😆

Omg, really??

Anonymous wrote:My 70ish mom is obsessed with weight and always has been. The first (and sometimes only) thing she reports on after she gets together with members of the extended family is who has gained or lost weight. She calls any woman above a size 6 a "big girl."

my 70 old mom will remind me every 10 months that I am morbidly obese. I am 40 and 120lb. 😆

My mother and MIL could not be more different (I'm GenX.) Baked goods are my absolute weakness and every meal has a dessert attached to it at MILs and you get looked at strangely if you don't have it. I've had a lot of practice being politely assertive and looking MIL dead in eye "Thank you, but I'm full"/"not going to have any" and it frankly annoys me all the food. And I'm overweight right now! Mother always talked about having just a bite of dessert, looking matronly, etc.

I kind of agree with the comment it may be an UMC thing to. College access, being a good size/thin, being pretty, access to money and therefore healthier food - these are all things. Even at my child's day care a teacher keeps saying "Hi pretty girl" to her and it both tickles and then annoys me.

My 70ish mom is obsessed with weight and always has been. The first (and sometimes only) thing she reports on after she gets together with members of the extended family is who has gained or lost weight. She calls any woman above a size 6 a "big girl."

I'm around 60, older Gen X. I never diet, never have. I just stay active. Yesterday I put more than 17,000 steps and 140 active minutes on my fitness tracker between my long walk and yardwork. I do this 3-4 times a week. I eat three square meals, enjoy a glass of red wine every day and a small dessert. I can still wear my shirts from middle and high school. You must keep yourself moving.

My spouse commented recently that I've been on a diet for as long as he's known me (62, married 32 years). He is correct, I am always on a diet, because I am short and even a small weight gain is noticeable, and I don't want to gain weight. I work out and eat healthy, but my metabolism sucks, and it seems like even looking at sweets goes right to my hips.

Our daughter, 26, is a little chubby, but doesn't seem to care. She's happy. I am happy she is happy, and doesn't have to spend her life on a diet.

My mom (now in her 80s) was the worst. I got daily updates on her weight, frequent musings about how she didnt hit 100 pounds until she was 19 or 120 pounds until she was 7 months pregnant. Just what I needed to hear as a 14 yr old who was 5'4 and 120 pounds (and done growing - this is just my normal adult size even today! She still thinks it's a crime against humanity for an average height female to weigh so much).

She wore me down and I had a really fun time as an anorexic college student trying to stay below 90 lbs.

When my daughter was a teen I paid absolutely no attention to my weight or to hers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, blame the boomers for dieting.

Oh sweetie, the boomers are YOUR parents. Ours are greatest gen.

I’m solidly Gen X as are my sisters and our parents were Boomers.

My mom was also diet and weight obsessed (who remembers the “diet plate” at diners, that was my mother’s go-to order), but so was my father! He commented on every bite my sisters and I took on our plates beyond what he thought was an appropriate amount of food.

The GLP craze has exposed the lie that people liked being fat and accepted their bodies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, this makes me feel pretty good. Sounds like some of us are shaking off the behaviors and therefore our kids never know it existed. I noticed my oldest DS was getting 'chunky' at 10/11, which I would say was my watershed year on weight as a kid, and I bit my lip and pushed down my worry and dang if he didn't stretch right out! He mentioned once that he wanted to 'start going to the gym' during that period and I asked him to trust that he'd grow 'out' ahead of growing 'up' and just to wait. It does feel a bit like beating the devil...

That's a good response on your part. You didn't add to any issues/feelings he had. Reminds me of my mom/parents - made me feel seen and loved, even if weight went up a bit this age as well.

My parents and pediatrician said similar to me when I was a tween. I remember the ped saying lots of girls get chubby right before puberty. I felt like they were gaslighting me. I never did grow and stayed chubby. What I wanted was for my parents to help me get to a healthy weight. I was so glad when I finally turned 16 and could get into a gym by myself and pay for it. Weight fell off and I was able to buy healthier food too.

My pediatrician and parents fat shamed me. I was 5'2 and 120lbs as a 12yo and stayed that way until I had kids. I guess by kid BMI standards it might have been too much but I am mad about it to this day. I was told to eat less and fewer sweets, but nobody really helped me. It completely messed up my body image.

My mom is 75 and I still cringe when she mentions she’s “on a diet.” ( I hate the phrase, even.) The mentality messed up my teen years quite a bit. I think my low point was going to Jenny Craig meetings as a 16 year old. Actually, wait, no, the low point was the bulimia that ensued.

I’ve tried really hard not to repeat this with my own. No scale in our house, no talk of dieting or weight. I can’t imagine my teen daughter and her friends dieting. They all eat whatever they feel like and couldn’t care less who’s carrying a few extra pounds. (But not all teen girls are like this, obviously.)

Ozempic removes the excuses

Anonymous wrote:Well, this makes me feel pretty good. Sounds like some of us are shaking off the behaviors and therefore our kids never know it existed. I noticed my oldest DS was getting 'chunky' at 10/11, which I would say was my watershed year on weight as a kid, and I bit my lip and pushed down my worry and dang if he didn't stretch right out! He mentioned once that he wanted to 'start going to the gym' during that period and I asked him to trust that he'd grow 'out' ahead of growing 'up' and just to wait. It does feel a bit like beating the devil...

+1

“Beating the devil “ - love this