Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:45     Subject: Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I'd be annoyed, as I was when my husband lost the car key and needed to be bailed out at significant inconvenience and an annoyingly high cost. It's messing up your time together!

For the sake of my sanity and family relationships, I think I'd try to make the annoyance at the situation rather than the person. I'd want to hear from the family members some contrition that they realize they messed up. And then it'd be time to get into problem solving mode. I'd hope the college kid could do s little research and come up with a couple proposals how to work things out.

If they just dumped it all on me, like "here mom, solve this problem, I'm going out now with my friends," yeah, I'd be upset, and hope that I'd be able to keep my cool while conveying that that's not okay.


Oh it falls on us bc there is no solution: either he takes our nicer car (which tbh I do not want him driving so I’m upset about that) and mails the keys to his car (a mom type car he has on purpose bc it’s not cool) so we drive that one, or we drive him in nice car and then he has no car there but that means a really tiring Sunday and dh and I are very tired already bc this week was crazy. Then we pick him up in a month. Either way sucks.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:43     Subject: Would you be upset?
Also I'd try to focus my annoyance on these modern cars that need those crazy expensive keys to drive. Rather than at my kid. We all make mistakes.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:42     Subject: Would you be upset?
Yeah, I'd be annoyed, as I was when my husband lost the car key and needed to be bailed out at significant inconvenience and an annoyingly high cost. It's messing up your time together!

For the sake of my sanity and family relationships, I think I'd try to make the annoyance at the situation rather than the person. I'd want to hear from the family members some contrition that they realize they messed up. And then it'd be time to get into problem solving mode. I'd hope the college kid could do s little research and come up with a couple proposals how to work things out.

If they just dumped it all on me, like "here mom, solve this problem, I'm going out now with my friends," yeah, I'd be upset, and hope that I'd be able to keep my cool while conveying that that's not okay.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:38     Subject: Re:Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:Is your ds at least 20? Have him find out what a one day car rental would cost, as well as a replacement fob. If two one day rentals are cheaper than one fob, he can drive back and be without his car, then rent a car again the next time he’s coming home. Natural consequences.


No, he is 19. I don’t believe anyone can rent a car at that age.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:34     Subject: Re:Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:Is your ds at least 20? Have him find out what a one day car rental would cost, as well as a replacement fob. If two one day rentals are cheaper than one fob, he can drive back and be without his car, then rent a car again the next time he’s coming home. Natural consequences.

He also needs to buy a replacement fob eventually, if this lost one doesn’t turn up.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:33     Subject: Re:Would you be upset?
Is your ds at least 20? Have him find out what a one day car rental would cost, as well as a replacement fob. If two one day rentals are cheaper than one fob, he can drive back and be without his car, then rent a car again the next time he’s coming home. Natural consequences.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:28     Subject: Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you have a spare car key? That seems odd.


We do, it’s in his dorm. So that means driving him 10 hours round trip on sunday
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:26     Subject: Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It can still be a nice weekend. You choose the vibe. If they are good kids who made a mistake then they’re just people who made a mistake. Have you never scratched the car or lost the keys or something like that. It really doesn’t matter.


Not as a teen bc I bought my own car as an adult and lost keys once as an adult so it was all my responsibility. And it’s impossible to have a nice weekend bc logistically it means we might have to drive ds 10 hours round trip since no locksmith can do this tomorrow.


Did you try the dealer of the car brand?


Yes. It’s closer to 1k there but they also cannot do it tomorrow and the car needs to be towed there.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:25     Subject: Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:There was only one key to this car? You're taking another car?


No he somehow took both keys last time. Since we did not have the car it did not matter
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:25     Subject: Re:Would you be upset?
Your family was only in possession of one key to a car? Even if your ds lost the only fob with buttons, if he’s got the valet key, he can still drive the car and manually lock and unlock the doors. If you all only had one key, this was very foreseeable and you should count your lucky stars that it happened when he was somewhere safe and could have a key made without missing school or some important event.

Aside from that bit of tough love, I’m really sorry it’s been such a taxing week, your dh’s birthday came with an unpleasant surprise, and now you can’t enjoy the rest of your kids’ break. They should be explicitly told that they need to step up and do their part to make the remaining time that they’re home as relaxing for their parents as possible.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:21     Subject: Would you be upset?
If they are otherwise good and responsible kids, I would chalk it up to sh#t happens and move on.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:20     Subject: Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It can still be a nice weekend. You choose the vibe. If they are good kids who made a mistake then they’re just people who made a mistake. Have you never scratched the car or lost the keys or something like that. It really doesn’t matter.


Not as a teen bc I bought my own car as an adult and lost keys once as an adult so it was all my responsibility. And it’s impossible to have a nice weekend bc logistically it means we might have to drive ds 10 hours round trip since no locksmith can do this tomorrow.


Did you try the dealer of the car brand?


Are any dealers open on Saturdays? The parts counter people might take pity on you.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:19     Subject: Would you be upset?
There was only one key to this car? You're taking another car?
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:19     Subject: Would you be upset?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It can still be a nice weekend. You choose the vibe. If they are good kids who made a mistake then they’re just people who made a mistake. Have you never scratched the car or lost the keys or something like that. It really doesn’t matter.


Not as a teen bc I bought my own car as an adult and lost keys once as an adult so it was all my responsibility. And it’s impossible to have a nice weekend bc logistically it means we might have to drive ds 10 hours round trip since no locksmith can do this tomorrow.


Did you try the dealer of the car brand?
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2026 19:17     Subject: Would you be upset?
Why don't you have a spare car key? That seems odd.