We had a similar situation a couple years ago (except stressful situation was sudden death of a grandparent and resulting travel for funeral). DS went ahead with audition and did OK but did not perform at usual level. He still got into an orchestra but did not advance to higher level. Over the summer the conductor called me out of the blue and asked how DS was doing and said he was surprised DS did not move up a level and asked how the audition went. I then explained the circumstances and the conductor said he wish he would have known and ended up deciding to move DS up a level.

Anyway, all of this to say that these music teachers want to get it right and put kids in the right level. If your kid will not be performing at her usual level, I would encourage her to say something but I would support her decision no matter what.

Schools - counselors - teachers need to be informed of serious events that happen in a family. This is a serious event

Op here.

My DD had this teacher (Ms N) last year and this year for another level concert band class.

Ms. N emailed us that she spoke to DD who said she don’t think she’d need the extra time and fine having DD decide that and submit anytime before Monday.

DD said that Ms.N told her the the hall pass is there without ever having to ask. She can stand up and just take it if she needs to step outside or splash water on her face or anything. I think DD said Ms, N offered her a hug, I forget. Ms. N is an incredibly warm person and my DD appreciated her response whether or not she opts to submit her audition late.

Anonymous wrote:I’d email myself.

WHY. The child has a plan, she deserves to go with her plan and then accept the outcome either way. Parents NEED to learn when it’s fine to step back and let their kids have some agency.

Anonymous wrote:You’re good parents. Get her what she needs.

Op there. Thanks. I forgot to mention in the original post that this would a full year elective in 8th grade if she got in (50 mins a day). She auditioned to do it this year but didn’t get in.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My husband talked to DD. She repeated that she feels guilty asking for something good to come out of this terrible thing. Eventually she asked him for help coming up with an email for her teacher. In addition, she’s been practicing for about 1.5 hours now.

It's not something good. It's just something to give her a fair shot. She is not cheating the system. Wishing you a full recovery.

You’re good parents. Get her what she needs.

Op here. My husband talked to DD. She repeated that she feels guilty asking for something good to come out of this terrible thing. Eventually she asked him for help coming up with an email for her teacher. In addition, she’s been practicing for about 1.5 hours now.

Anonymous wrote:As the parent, I would email the teacher myself. However, if your DD doesn't want that, then let it go. It's on her.

Did you like when your own mom did that? Because I hated it, which helps me not do it now.

As the parent, I would email the teacher myself. However, if your DD doesn't want that, then let it go. It's on her.

I like the PP's suggestion of letting her teacher know as a matter of fact thing, not necessarily as asking for an extension. (The teacher will likely then volunteer it, or at least know she may not be as well practices and there is a reason).

I'd try gently to convince her a couple more times, explaining that her teacher would want to know as this is considered a family emergency. If she truly continues to insist on going ahead with her, allow her to do it. It will be ok if it's not perfect. Hope you are healing and taking care of yourself OP.

I hope you have a quick recovery, OP.

Here is what works for my daughter who hates asking. Tell your child that they should explain to the teacher what happened by way of keeping them informed, let the teacher know that they are doing their best to work harder this week to make up for lost time, are NOT asking for an extension, but may end up needing it.

99% of the time DD turns her work in on time. The other 1% she asks for and gets that extension. She doesn’t feel bad about it, because she informed her teacher ahead of time and did her best to not ask for the extension.

You had a STROKE and are micromanaging your kid's flute audition?

You haven't gotten FAA clearance yet for your active helicopter pilot license.

Seriously all the best to you.