There’s really no feedback given with standardized tests unless the school follows up with you for under grade level performance. They don’t care about the test results for kids who meet or exceed the bare minimum.

My DS has tested from 50 percentile up to 99 percentile and it’s always pulling teeth to even get the scores. The school doesn’t allow access to anything beyond numerical score and percentile unless you directly email the principal, who will access the info and send it. It’s weird because I keep hearing that other schools give parents an actual login for iReady or whatever test to be able to see more info.

I think the test is meant to get a bigger school picture, to identify below grade level kids, and to make curricular decisions. Teachers and schools don’t want to give parents any more info because of privacy concerns (other kids and families) and also because I suspect we would be surprised at the grade or school’s performance.

Speaking from public and private school experience in K-5.

Conferences at this age can feel vague, especially in schools without grades. It’s very reasonable to follow up and ask for more specifics in either an e-mail or follow-up phone call/conference.

A few things that can help clarify the picture:

• Ask for examples of on-grade-level work and compare it to your child’s work so you can see the difference. This will help the teacher and you hone in on 1-2 clear next steps in your child's mastery of a topic.

• Ask which specific skills to focus on right now (for example, spelling patterns or certain math concepts).

• If they mentioned your child getting tense with challenges, ask when that tends to happen — during a specific subject, timed tasks, longer tasks, tasks that involve details writing, a specific time in the day, etc.

• Ask what 1–2 things would be most helpful to practice at home.

It’s also okay to be candid — respectfully — if you’re feeling unsure or frustrated about the feedback. A simple “I’d really value clearer insight into how my child is doing” can open the door to a more productive conversation.

The goal is collaboration. Everyone is on the same team working toward your child’s academic and social-emotional growth, and clearer information usually helps that partnership.

OP, I think I may know the school based on your description and the timing of their P-T conferences.

Teachers and administrators want to establish a positive relationship with parents. When they have bad news to deliver, it’s almost always in the form of a “compliment sandwich.” Teachers also want you to know that they like your child. Whatever deficits we communicate, it doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy working with a particular student. It may sound odd to frame things in such a way, but a surprising number of parents at every private school take things very personally. (I once witnessed a parent get very angry when she was told her child was doing “fine.”)

In your shoes, I’d give it a couple of days and then follow up with another short meeting or email. Tell them you want to work on the things that are challenging for your child. Ask about their recommendations for supplementing spelling and math. Ask the school counselor to weigh in more about your child’s frustration tolerance. Do what you can to support skills at home, bringing in a tutor if you feel it might be helpful. If things aren’t trending in the right direction by fall conferences, you’ll know it’s time to apply out to other schools.