Anonymous wrote:Our COL is low for DMV. We were strategic in putting money towards things that add value in our life.
- A very nice house but in an inexpensive neighborhood,
- Use organic and quality ingredients but we cook from scratch at home, don't drink starbucks or alcohol, no smoking, no vaping, no gambling, and very little meat.
- We don't get mani-pedi, facials, massages, hair coloring and I cut hair for DH. (Mine, alas, still costs money).
- No pets. Only 2 kids.

But...we have a person who does our landscaping and another who cleans our house. These are services that we find absolutely worthwhile.

The OP was about DINKs — did you have those services before kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have friends, young marrieds with a tiny DC apartment who hire a cleaning service. The wife in confidence told me she always wanted to make sure -it- was in the budget. Too afraid too many of the tasks would fall to her.

It's been budgeted from the start of their marriage. Future lifestyle decisions, all financial decisions going forward as a couple will have to take it into account.

Clever move.

Yep.

Establish it up front.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are DINKS (but just found out we are expecting…fingers crossed!) and got a monthly service when we moved from a condo to a house. He has a demanding job (10-12 hours a day, with no ability to work remotely); I work from home but also have a demanding job. Neither of us are ‘dirty’, but he is messy and similar to some posters above I was getting resentful about doing 90% of the cleaning. Monthly is perfect for us, makes it easy for us to maintain a clean house the rest of the month, and forces us (mainly him) to straighten up prior to the cleaners. If I ultimately become a SAHM we will no longer do this but right now it is a no brainer.

big jobs and big money it’s expected; I’m talking about way more MC 9-5 roles.

I wouldn’t necessarily consider us big money for this area; we make around $330K combined.

FFS.

Stop it, people.

Our COL is low for DMV. We were strategic in putting money towards things that add value in our life.
- A very nice house but in an inexpensive neighborhood,
- Use organic and quality ingredients but we cook from scratch at home, don't drink starbucks or alcohol, no smoking, no vaping, no gambling, and very little meat.
- We don't get mani-pedi, facials, massages, hair coloring and I cut hair for DH. (Mine, alas, still costs money).
- No pets. Only 2 kids.

But...we have a person who does our landscaping and another who cleans our house. These are services that we find absolutely worthwhile.

We are immigrants who grew up in our home country with some kind of domestic help. When we came here, we did not have housecleaners because we were broke. And for the longest time we did not have cleaners even when we had one kid and I was SAHM because we remained poor, cash strapped and insecure about money. I was fighting tooth and nail to live with as much frugality as I could manage. In those days, even buying a windex cleaner felt like luxury when I would clean with dish-soap.

But, as money became a bit better, and doing household chores seemed to suck all our time, we decided to cut expenses in other places and put money towards reclaiming our peace of mind and our leisure time.

Having a cleaner also allowed us to entertain and interact with people in the way we wanted to. It also kept our home stress-free, tension-free and improved our life as a married couple and as parents.

So, people who have cleaners while they are single or DINKS, maybe actually - appreciate the peace of mind that they get, the lifestyle that allows for guests and entertaining , the time they can reclaim to exercise/study/have hobbies/rest - when they have cleaners.

Mostly, they can afford it in place of something else. Maybe they don't go for therapy and having a cleaner is the therapy for them. Maybe they live in a cheaper place (we do) so that they can afford cleaners.

yes very normal for umc people.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're judging people for spending their money differently. You also seem to judge them for not wanting to do chores and grunt work. I don't have a housecleaner, but I spend on other things that you might find surprising. To each their own, right?

I was more surprised than judgmental, but it tracks with the Instacart and DoorDash life of that generation so I should have not been surprised.

“Every Silicon Valley startup is just a way to get your mom to do stuff for you again.”

https://hbr.org/2016/07/the-internet-of-stuff-your-mom-wont-do-for-you-anymore

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are DINKS (but just found out we are expecting…fingers crossed!) and got a monthly service when we moved from a condo to a house. He has a demanding job (10-12 hours a day, with no ability to work remotely); I work from home but also have a demanding job. Neither of us are ‘dirty’, but he is messy and similar to some posters above I was getting resentful about doing 90% of the cleaning. Monthly is perfect for us, makes it easy for us to maintain a clean house the rest of the month, and forces us (mainly him) to straighten up prior to the cleaners. If I ultimately become a SAHM we will no longer do this but right now it is a no brainer.

big jobs and big money it’s expected; I’m talking about way more MC 9-5 roles.

I wouldn’t necessarily consider us big money for this area; we make around $330K combined.

The people I am working with make about $80k.

People like that pay for convenience, even thought they don't have the money for it. I'm sure they buy meal delivery kits, order door dash and instacart life.

I have someone who cleans monthly — reduced from twice a month. She’s a wonderful lady who worked for my mother for years — so I kept it up. She cleans better than I do, notices things that I might not, and I don’t consider what she does as a luxury. OTOH, I don’t drink alcohol or Starbucks or spend on things that I might view as being extravagant that others enjoy as a matter of course. I’m good.

Anonymous wrote:I have friends, young marrieds with a tiny DC apartment who hire a cleaning service. The wife in confidence told me she always wanted to make sure -it- was in the budget. Too afraid too many of the tasks would fall to her.

It's been budgeted from the start of their marriage. Future lifestyle decisions, all financial decisions going forward as a couple will have to take it into account.

Clever move.

OP, you're judging people for spending their money differently. You also seem to judge them for not wanting to do chores and grunt work. I don't have a housecleaner, but I spend on other things that you might find surprising. To each their own, right?

I have friends, young marrieds with a tiny DC apartment who hire a cleaning service. The wife in confidence told me she always wanted to make sure -it- was in the budget. Too afraid too many of the tasks would fall to her.

It's been budgeted from the start of their marriage. Future lifestyle decisions, all financial decisions going forward as a couple will have to take it into account.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are DINKS (but just found out we are expecting…fingers crossed!) and got a monthly service when we moved from a condo to a house. He has a demanding job (10-12 hours a day, with no ability to work remotely); I work from home but also have a demanding job. Neither of us are ‘dirty’, but he is messy and similar to some posters above I was getting resentful about doing 90% of the cleaning. Monthly is perfect for us, makes it easy for us to maintain a clean house the rest of the month, and forces us (mainly him) to straighten up prior to the cleaners. If I ultimately become a SAHM we will no longer do this but right now it is a no brainer.

big jobs and big money it’s expected; I’m talking about way more MC 9-5 roles.

I posted above that DH and I did this when he was in residency ~ 15 years ago. We were making 100K at the time and it was $90/cleaning for a 3BR house. (I lated dropped to half time when our first dc was born, so we made even less then). We were never the types to want the latest tech or a fancy vehicle, but this relatively modest expense was really worth it for us and helpful for our marriage. We still socked money away into our retirement and paid off our student loans; we just had to budget.

We are now retired empty nesters and I kind of wondered if we’d drop the cleaners once we got to this stage but the truth is they do cleaning neither of us really wants to do so as long as it fits in our budget I think we’ll keep employing cleaners.

We have kids (2 year old twins) and have biweekly cleaners. But, before we had kids we had biweekly cleaners as well.