Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

It’s not that they get scooped up, they go looking quickly. Men can’t be alone.

This. They need someone to cook for them and do their laundry. A lot of men have been babied so long by their wives that they are no longer functionally independent.

Stop marrying religious conservatives.

Anonymous wrote:Was it a long illness or an unexpected death?

There's no realistic timetable given different circumstances.

In a long illness, the grieving process is already taking place. In some ways, a zombie marriage is also like that, where you are technically married but "only for the kids", so even a sudden death would not imply an overly long grieving process. In that case you grieve for the person and the parent that they are, but not for the marriage itself.

A sudden death in a loving marriage is something that might take years (or never) to move past.

I'm 68 and if my wife died, the last thing in the world I would want is to start dating quickly. It's been so long since I dated that I would be clueless. I never particularly liked dating and met my wife at work. Based on what I read here, it's a free for all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

It’s not that they get scooped up, they go looking quickly. Men can’t be alone.

Or maybe men realize that life has to go on; turning your life into a shrine of grief about your departed wife isn’t going to bring her back, whatever the kids think. Life is very short, and it’s crazy to waste any of it.

Some people also don’t need a new partner to live a fulfilling life. Many people rush into things just to have a partner and often choose the wrong one or just settle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

It’s not that they get scooped up, they go looking quickly. Men can’t be alone.

Or maybe men realize that life has to go on; turning your life into a shrine of grief about your departed wife isn’t going to bring her back, whatever the kids think. Life is very short, and it’s crazy to waste any of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

It’s not that they get scooped up, they go looking quickly. Men can’t be alone.

And a lot of them end up in bad relationships b/c they made choice in grief and out of fear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

It’s not that they get scooped up, they go looking quickly. Men can’t be alone.

This. They need someone to cook for them and do their laundry. A lot of men have been babied so long by their wives that they are no longer functionally independent.

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather’s second wife reconnected with him at my grandmother’s funeral. It was horrible that she passed him her number and then started calling 2 days later.

I tried to recognize they were old and I wanted him to be happy- but seriously.

Oliver North married his former AP/secretary Fawn Hall shortly after she attended his wife’s funeral. It’s not uncommon.

If something happened to me I hope my spouse would find a partner, and if they decided to be open to meeting someone after 7 months I would be happy for them. 7 months is a long time to feel alone. We have an almost college aged kid though, so I'm envisioning them being truly alone most of the time. I don't think this is your place to judge, but if you are interested in spending time with them, do. Others will judge, but that's really not your problem.

It certainly varies.

I knew a man who was dating during this wife’s bout with dementia. She was not able to live at home. At first,this caused me pause. When told of the wife’s death, I asked a mutual friend if the GF would be at the large funeral. No!

Takeaway: you don’t bring a date to your wife’s funeral.

How very noble of you to determine what is good, not good, healthy or not with respect to a 54 year old adult who you have never met! It is a miracke they made it to 54!

Anonymous wrote:They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

It’s not that they get scooped up, they go looking quickly. Men can’t be alone.

They move fast. FIL was engaged like 6 months after MIL died. Kids ultimately came around to the situation. Wanted FIL to be happy.

Anonymous wrote:What should I say in the text to him? I have been divorced since 2022. Our kids were all at the same school as well. All in college now. We did not run in the same circle while our kids were in school.

He texted you? Did he ask you out? I would set him straight that it is too early to date. Eew.

My grandfather’s second wife reconnected with him at my grandmother’s funeral. It was horrible that she passed him her number and then started calling 2 days later.

I tried to recognize they were old and I wanted him to be happy- but seriously.