Anonymous wrote:OP here, OK, I guess I’ll let it go. I don’t understand what would be so disruptive about guests they invited. But I guess it would have been unexpected. That being said, yes, we did enter with the code we were given. I mean, we were given the code in case we arrived before DS!

They invited you at 4 not 230

I've been trying to consider if you are my in-laws, who tend to arrive a couple hours early and think they are there to help, and who do not get that our house isn't an open house for them to come and go as they please and cant fathom that we wouldn't want them around at all times. But this didn't happen this weekend to me.

It’s truly rich to show up at someone’s home two hours early when they are not expecting you and then have the audacity to question *their* behavior. Why are you trying to spy on your daughter-in-law OP?

Last weekend we were only a half hour early for a routine visit to my own parents’ house. No clue what happened, hit every light green? Either way, I felt funny arriving that early so I drove around and showed my DC where some of my childhood friends lived to kill time.

You were rude. Next time, go get a cheeseburger and coffee.

She may have thought you used the garage code to go in and she didn't really have time to hang out with you. It's very hard to balance work and kids stuff, plus host overnight guests.

How do you show up two hours early from a three hour drive?

Sometimes I just can’t deal with confrontation and putting on a fake nice face. I like my in-laws, but it’s always stressful even after knowing them for decades.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, OK, I guess I’ll let it go. I don’t understand what would be so disruptive about guests they invited. But I guess it would have been unexpected. That being said, yes, we did enter with the code we were given. I mean, we were given the code in case we arrived before DS!

People social skills are going downhill.

Arriving 2 hrs early anywhere is rude. Period.

She may have been in a rush - it sounds like DH was supposed to meet you at the arranged time. Next time text your son and let him know you're going to be early. You must have known you be close to 2 hours early before pulling up. I would let her off the hook!

I’d avoid your annoying, intrusive arse, too.

You were rude. You left your house early, you knew you would be early and you didn't think to check in and see if that would be disruptive.

Your DIL handled it like a pro.

Maybe she was having a good old car cry to relieve stress

1.5 hours early is significant.

She is a busy working mom & has her day planned out. She wasn’t planning on seeing you until after the show, and probably figured she had 30-60min to stop at the house (to change, or to do some last minute prep for her houseguests- you!). Or- maybe even just to sit down and take 30min of time to recharge before a busy evening/weekend. She had not planned on being “on” for you just yet.

Or: always possible she had forgotten something & didn’t see you, or it genuinely wasn’t even her.

If you are more than 20-30min early in the future, I’d run errands and show up closer to the planned time. We have a busy schedule and often either have plans, or are busy preparing for your arrival.

I think lots of women try really hard to be good MILs and think of themselves as “helpful” and “no trouble” and they might really be trying for that. But most of the time to the DIL you are still someone to be hosted and someone they have to be “on” for. You were thinking about going to your sons house and that you are family and could act informally and thus didn’t feel the need to communicate to anyone you were departing from what communicated (though my parents would definitely do that and/or go get me a coffee or something to drink for my busy night).

She’s sparing you from understanding exactly how much you messed up her afternoon even though I’m sure you didn’t mean to.

And to the PP who said maybe she had a period leak - once my husband got back early from picking up my ILs right after I developed severe stomach problems on my long run and had crapped my pants. I am sure they thought it was weird I ran upstairs with my shirt held over my butt and I appreciate they just…let it go.