Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As somebody who's posted here a bunch of times about switching my kid from Fieldston to a top public: take the public, a good public school is going to be superior to a 2T private both academically and socially. The main reason to prefer private would be if, as other people have mentioned, your child has special issues or you need a lot of extra hand-holding in some way, though even there in a lot of cases the public may be more willing to help.

Outside enrichment is a great idea, but I would encourage you to look beyond RSM/Kumon or whatever and not limit yourself to academic enrichment. A rigorous Suzuki violin school - and kindergarten is a perfect age to start - will do far more to develop your child's brain than extra math, not just for the music theory but also because the process and the struggle of mastering an instrument helps develop some amazing skills for later in life.

Thanks! What led you to leave Fieldston?

We are interested in School For Strings for Suzuki music, but it seems so intense! As a working parent it seems like a very big commitment.

That does look intense; we were at a school in the suburbs where it was one individual + one group lesson a week, I think that's more the norm you would find at most Suzuki schools. They did ask for parent involvement, and spouse - who was interested in learning violin anyway - kept up with it for a few months, but eventually fell behind kid after a year or so and nobody made that big a deal out of it.

We left Fieldston over a combination of weak academics - the kids were not particularly smart nor engaged - and bullying.

We went public to start at a great school and had mixed experiences. Our older child was in ICT classes in early grades and the other "ICT" kids were there for speech and other minor deficiencies - super smart, well-behaved kids from great families who just needed a little extra attention in the early grades. Our child quickly "graduated" from ICT and thrived and had a great experience and has gone on to do very well in subsequent schools (as did most of the "ICT" kids - most ended up at SHSAT schools or very good privates).

Second child also was in ICT classes and it was more kids with behavioral issues and more significant learning delays (some of whom probably shouldn't have been in a gen ed school). Teachers tried hard but paid so much attention to those kids that they had no time for the others. My child was deemed to be doing "well enough" and didn't rock the boat (they were in ICT for minor delays) so wasn't pushed and was largely ignored. We pulled them out of ICT earlier than we might have just to get away but even the kids in the non-ICT classes weren't great - just a bad year of kids.

Plus there was some turnover in teachers - some better, but some worse. Not a great experience, though not awful.

We sent our DC to "the top" public school in our district that people lied regularly to get into and is generally considered one of the best on the city and...we hated it. It wasn't right for our child. It was loud, chaotic, and kids behaved horribly with little consequence, and my son was bored while the teachers dealt with the behavior problems. We switched to what is probably considered a 2T private school and never looked back. BUT! We know plenty of kids who did fine at public school and are going to great high schools. It wasn't so much the quality of education...it was everything else that was a problem for us. My husband and I both went to TT NYC private schools and really thought we would be public or bust, but it wasn't right for our kid, and while our DC is incredibly bright and going to a TT high school, a smaller, warmer, less pressured private school ended up being right for us for elementary and middle school. People on these boards can be black or white...going to a TT isn't the only way a human becomes successful, and there are amazing 2T schools that are both warm AND can challenge your child.

Anonymous wrote:Really think about what is important for your family. What do you value? For me it was easy logistics (as a working parent) and a local community. That meant we applied to one 2TT that happened to be in our neighborhood

We got in but then I tried to run ROI thinking and just couldn’t come up with any reason to favor the private beyond the campus and facilities. The public beat the private in all other respects.

It’s a lot easier when you identify your values and then consider specific schools in that context.

Good luck! Probably no wrong decisions here.

This is also how we felt after going through the K process. Accepted to multiple T2 schools but ultimately chose our strong neighborhood public elementary. Will reassess as needed!

Really think about what is important for your family. What do you value? For me it was easy logistics (as a working parent) and a local community. That meant we applied to one 2TT that happened to be in our neighborhood

We got in but then I tried to run ROI thinking and just couldn’t come up with any reason to favor the private beyond the campus and facilities. The public beat the private in all other respects.

It’s a lot easier when you identify your values and then consider specific schools in that context.

Good luck! Probably no wrong decisions here.

Anonymous wrote:As somebody who's posted here a bunch of times about switching my kid from Fieldston to a top public: take the public, a good public school is going to be superior to a 2T private both academically and socially. The main reason to prefer private would be if, as other people have mentioned, your child has special issues or you need a lot of extra hand-holding in some way, though even there in a lot of cases the public may be more willing to help.

Outside enrichment is a great idea, but I would encourage you to look beyond RSM/Kumon or whatever and not limit yourself to academic enrichment. A rigorous Suzuki violin school - and kindergarten is a perfect age to start - will do far more to develop your child's brain than extra math, not just for the music theory but also because the process and the struggle of mastering an instrument helps develop some amazing skills for later in life.

Thanks! What led you to leave Fieldston?

We are interested in School For Strings for Suzuki music, but it seems so intense! As a working parent it seems like a very big commitment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband needs a new job with new colleagues. It sounds like he or both of you do pretty well if paying for private is no issue but his colleagues sound like miserable, pretentious, know-it-alls. Based on what you have written you sound more reasonable and grounded.

You only have so much bandwidth but I agree with others not to be obsessed with the alleged tiers. You are paying a lot of money so exmissions and things like that are definitely worth considering. But if a 2T school really strikes your fancy, don't worry about what the idiots at work say.

That being said I would still probably do public, though I agree that you need to really get to know the school and not just base it on rankings and test scores. Are you truly guaranteed an in zone seat with the changes? Are there any other changes expected?

Also agree with others that I am curious what nursery school you are at. Will they be able to help with the private process? Do they think your child has a chance of getting in? Where do they think your child would do best and thrive?

Thanks! Many of his colleagues' kids are at 2T schools, and they are generally the most status obsessed of the lot, so take from that what you will. The TT parents seem more normal than the rest.

While our public is small, the zone is quite small too. They have generally given offers to all in-zone kids in the past few years but of course there are never any guarantees.

We are at a small preschool which does provide exmissions help, however it's not a known feeder. We chose it over two feeders which gave us weird vibes.

Ask the pre-school where they think your child will do best.

Unlike many others on DCUM, you seem to truly be taking a rational, thoughtful approach to this and are doing your homework. Kudos to you. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say until you go on tours and have more information as to what feels like it may be a fit for your child and family. There isn't as much difference between "TT" and "2T," as you may be led to believe here, especially in the elementary years. And anyone who is "horrified" by the well-regarded public schools in the city doesn't have an opinion worth considering. Also, don't rule out the private K-8s . . . it's a great model, particularly for middle school.

Tell me about it... maybe horrified is too strong a word, but they seem to generally feel that private overall is higher quality than public.

We sent kid/s in 9th to Big 3/5 TT DC privates from …. gasp … public school ES and MS. To the surprise of no one, child is near top of class and no problem with transition. Glad we made the decisions we did and child really challenged in high school in a way the public school peers are not. BUT, the idea that the private school elite elementary school kids have some advantage (academically) was not our l experience. Our little neighborhood school was filled with enough HYPSM types and rich folks to satisfy us that their peer group from the neighborhood wasn’t exactly pulling them down.

Generally our experience was that kids who got sent to private from our local neighborhood cohort had some sort of learning issue that prevented them from doing well in a regular classroom. And I don’t mean necessarily a formal diagnosis. Just that both they and their parents needed some hand holding.

I think you’ll find at particularly 2T privates it’s a lot of kids from sucky neighborhood schools (aka their parents couldn’t afford your TT neighborhood school and private was cheaper) who needed an out; kids with problems at their excellent public school who needed an out; and religious types who are true believers. Our child was surrounded by bright enthusiastic peers and a good system and accomplished the learning they needed to and love of school we wanted at that age.

This is not at all true of the 2T schools.