Anonymous wrote:Op here- Thank you for the wide variety of answers. I’ve been following her lead and trying to not make it more serious than it is so haven’t insisted on meeting him yet. They haven’t gone out together that many times yet. And they live kind of far apart so I don’t mind they both drive and meet up.
But I would like to meet him but not sure how. A full dinner would be a bit much.

Have you told your DD that you’d like to meet him? What does/would she say?

You should take him out to Starbucks 1/1 and ask him what his intentions are.

Op here- Thank you for the wide variety of answers. I’ve been following her lead and trying to not make it more serious than it is so haven’t insisted on meeting him yet. They haven’t gone out together that many times yet. And they live kind of far apart so I don’t mind they both drive and meet up.
But I would like to meet him but not sure how. A full dinner would be a bit much.

He would not spend time with my daughter unless I’ve met him.

My kids are 19 and 23. We have met boyfriends/girlfriends on their timeline when they are ready. And kind of organically, no required “come to the door” or “ come to family dinner” requirement. One kid very private about dating and other very open. I think it’s important to follow their lead.

Anonymous wrote:Sooner rather than later. Have him come over after school with her. Give them a snack, chat with them both for five minutes, then leave the kitchen. Send him home before dinner.

It’s 2026. Most parents work full time and aren’t giving their teens snacks after school. 🙄

When your dd is ready to introduce him to you

Anonymous wrote:I clicked this post and from the title of the post, I was going to say, "she decides, your daughter decides. You have no role here."

But, much different because she is in high school. I would say, you meet him almost immediately. I highly suggest you invite him to family dinner. What this does is it eliminates the young men who really have no significant and genuine (for the right reasons) interest in your daughter. If something's at all uncomfortable, they won't do it.

This would have been awful for me in HS. I was the oldest with two super talkative parents and younger siblings. I would have started sneaking around rather than have anyone sit through a family dinner when we first started dating. Do you remember those early dating years back in HS? I can’t imagine what my “friendly” parents and younger siblings would have said to the new boyfriend.

It’s up to them if you meet him at all. And yes, I have 2 teens. Maybe it’s not that serious. Take her lead. They aren’t getting engaged here. Don’t make this more than it is. Do you insist on meeting all of her friends before they hang out anywhere? She can get in trouble with friends too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- they both can drive so he doesn’t pick her up at the house. She meets him
out at places. He hasn’t been to our house and she hasn’t been to his house. They’ve met up a handful of times so far, not counting school.

I don’t like this. He needs to come to the house for accountability.

In 2026 does she also need to go to his house?

No. He can’t get pregnant.

My DDs boyfriend came to pick her up for the first two or three dates without coming to the door, and my husband and I would just peer through the blinds as they drove away, lol. Eventually, she asked if she could have him over to the house and we met him in person, and vice versa. (She at his house.) Now they seem fully comfortable at both houses. It’s the first relationship for both of them, so I think they’re just a little nervous about all the things at first.

But I would ask your daughter if she wants to have him over to watch a movie or something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- they both can drive so he doesn’t pick her up at the house. She meets him
out at places. He hasn’t been to our house and she hasn’t been to his house. They’ve met up a handful of times so far, not counting school.

Maybe too late. But if he drives, he should be coming to pick her up for dates and dropping her back off, not meeting her at someplace. That’s poor treatment and manners. He may not know better, but at least you can teach your daughter how she should be treated.

Maybe she prefers it this way. I did and still do.