Thanks all. OP here. Debating all this now.

I want to be calm and measured vs hitting the roof.

She is an athlete but def been more irritable and sullen lately. Seems like she’s irritable all the time—aren’t most teens?! I think she’s def trying to hang with a certain crowd and if we had the money I’d move her to a Catholic though I’m sure it happens there too though to a lesser extent.

She has learning disabilities and struggles in school and I worry this can go downhill fast so debating the whole taking away the phone forever (she will def lose it for a period). She will be grounded and I will make her write something bc I don’t think she has a clue how bad this is for her and I might drug test her just so the Dr can have a go at her too. That might scare her.

Anonymous wrote:Sports. We kept my sons in year round soccer- high level because it took up 4 nights a week and games on weekends. Also- as center midfielders that are sprinting/running end to end for 90 minutes you can’t have crappy lungs.

Add in a switch to a Catholic high school in 9th that took my younger one immediately out of the group going downhill fast.

The people they hang around with will be the people they become. They say—look at your 5 closest friends (even adults). You want people with similar values/character/goals in life.

Meanwhile the sports kids are the biggest partiers. But ok.

I knew someone whose son was doing this early high school.

Phone was gone for entire rest of school year. Kid was not allowed to be driven by others and couldn’t be home alone or go out with friends. Random room and bag searches.

He no longer vapes.

Sports. We kept my sons in year round soccer- high level because it took up 4 nights a week and games on weekends. Also- as center midfielders that are sprinting/running end to end for 90 minutes you can’t have crappy lungs.

Add in a switch to a Catholic high school in 9th that took my younger one immediately out of the group going downhill fast.

The people they hang around with will be the people they become. They say—look at your 5 closest friends (even adults). You want people with similar values/character/goals in life.

Anonymous wrote:Phone would be gone.

That makes no sense and is a mark of extremely lazy parenting. What does the phone have to do with it? How is this consequence related to the offense?

Only dumb parents go straight to this.

Anonymous wrote:What would the punishment be if you found out your high school freshman was vaping?

What's the vaping equivalent of locking them in a closet and forcing them to smoke the whole carton? I'd do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have them write a 5 page essay on the dangers of vaping, with resources written in the proper format that their school instructs them to use. There should be photos included in the presentation. Then they need to make a 5 minute slide deck to present the information they learned to the family.

Totally agree and would do the exact same thing.

Why do you think this will help them stop? And think about what you are doing, you are using writing as a punishment. You don’t have teens yet if you think anyone could get a teen to actually do this. As others said, AI would complete this in seconds. Including the presentation outline and teleprompter script.

Because it would help them understand the natural consequences!!! They don’t care if they think it’s just because mom and dad are being strict. If they dug deep into the dangers of it they may actually internalize how bad it is and would stop doing it on their own, way more effective than punishment and then they’ll just hide better next time

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have them write a 5 page essay on the dangers of vaping, with resources written in the proper format that their school instructs them to use. There should be photos included in the presentation. Then they need to make a 5 minute slide deck to present the information they learned to the family.

Totally agree and would do the exact same thing.

Why do you think this will help them stop? And think about what you are doing, you are using writing as a punishment. You don’t have teens yet if you think anyone could get a teen to actually do this. As others said, AI would complete this in seconds. Including the presentation outline and teleprompter script.