Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went out to dinner with a big group of her friends. She chose the restaurant. We brought her cake and covered the costs for her friends.

This is what we did. This seems just right.

This is what I did for my 16th birthday in the 80's. My parents were very, very middle class.
My own oldest didn't want to do anything, but then we managed to talk her into taking some friends to a thing for her 17th birthday. I think maybe a couple of her friends had people over, but no one did a big fancy party or anything like that.

My youngest just turned 15 and took a few friends out to dinner. I just don't think most kids want to host a "big" party because that comes with the stress of deciding who gets invites, who will decline the invites, some kids might sneak in alchohol/weed and that creates stress for the hosting kid, will it be cool enough, etc. It's a very limited segment of teens that are willing to take on all that social stress and spotlight. Most kids want to just celebrate with their besties and if their parents are willing to drop some cash on it, would rather do something like take their besties to a concert, basketball game, beach weekend, etc.

Op here. FWIW. I regret not allowing my mother to give me a party when I was 16. It’s now what’s called a golden birthday. In college when I saw the photos of other people from their 16th birthday I did feel sad that I did not have my own. I think about it from time
to time. I never had a large birthday party. I regret that. It would’ve been a special one given our financial circumstances and she was looking forward to planning it . I didn’t realize it at the time and just wanted to do a small meal with friends.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know anyone who had a sweet sixteen (and I have a college kid and high schooler). We're not having one either.

This. My girls are 18 and 15 and I have not heard of this. The only common parties are HS grad parties, but even those are mostly hosted at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one. I think of it as a Southern thing or people showing off. It’s outdated

This. I would consider it very tacky and try-hard.

That's not nice, PP. We're not in a circle where anyone does Sweet Sixteens, but they're culturally important in certain groups. Don't piss on other people's traditions, OK? You wouldn't want others to piss on yours...

I’ve gone to parties for Latina 15 year olds called Quinceañera, Same with bat mitzvahs for 12 year olds. Those are cultural traditions. I don’t know any culture that celebrates 16 year olds.

It was traditional for Southern states rural towns to have segregated proms until 10 years ago. It’s ok to “piss” on stupid traditions.

"Back in my day" (early oughts) boys and girls alike had large house or venue parties for their 16th with a DJ, pizza/snacks, and cake. The Old Firehouse in McLean was a popular venue. Mpre recently, I've seen friends' kids have 16th birthday parties at places like Pinstripes or Top Golf.

My kids have only been to one over the top sweet 16 that was at a hotel ballroom and bigger/more expensive than my wedding.

My daughter had 10 kids over to our house for tacos/cake/and a karaoke machine hang out for a few hours.

My son had three friends go to top golf together.

16th

Anonymous wrote:This thread will be full of the same people who crow endlessly about how they give a want a need a book and a clothes item for Christmas. Yes! We are so very impressed with your minimalism! You are definitely better than us!!!!

So what did you do for your kid's 6th birthday?

This thread will be full of the same people who crow endlessly about how they give a want a need a book and a clothes item for Christmas. Yes! We are so very impressed with your minimalism! You are definitely better than us!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went out to dinner with a big group of her friends. She chose the restaurant. We brought her cake and covered the costs for her friends.

That's what some kids do for their regular birthdays.

I know. It was basically a regular birthday. Didn't feel the need to go over the top for her 16th.

I've seen a mix of things. A few people had big hotel/restaurant/country club parties. My daughter opted for a casual dinner at her favorite restaurant with about ten friends. It cost about $400 w/ tip. Much cheaper and less work than her previous little kid parties. I made a reservation a few weeks in advance and got some balloons for the table. She didn't want anything else.

My kids are smart enough to negotiate multiple outings and eating outs with their multiple friends groups - top golf with one group, rock climbing with another, comedy club/movie with a third group, bike trip with yet another group etc.

They like going to other people's big celebrations but want to spread out their own with different groups so that they themselves enjoy spending time with their friends to the max for weeks.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went out to dinner with a big group of her friends. She chose the restaurant. We brought her cake and covered the costs for her friends.

This is what we did. This seems just right.

We always have a cake at midnight for the nuclear family, and a large family celebration at a restaurant with extended family also.

After this - usually kids will take their friends for some activity and a meal. We pay, of course.

She wanted to go to dinner at the Melting Pot and she invited a friend.