I don’t think there is anything you can do about the car. It sounds like her dad doesn’t take co-parenting very seriously. I think all you can do is try to prepare her as much as you can, invest in high quality instruction, and avoid making it a power struggle. Some of the ideas about the apps and conditions are good, but they only work if dad is also on board. Otherwise she’ll just choose to be over there all the time.

Anonymous wrote:Teens in fancy new cars asking for trouble. His poor judgement and can't do much about it. Sounds like he was trying to give her incentive to pass the permit test but not even having a permit or license and buying the car is NUTS and setting entitled president for trouble down the road.
Sorry..it sucks but I would just say to your ex he sets the bar he can deal with the consequences which hopefully don't result in major harm or worse to her or others.

An x1 isn’t fancy. It’s enter level bmw. Pretty embarrassing if you ask me. He can do what he wants. He owns the car, he pays insurance.

Anonymous wrote:What a waste. I hope her 529 is fully funded and she has a Roth IRA. If not, sell the car and invest in her future. Your ex is an idiot.

+1

Sounds like she also inherited his bad judgement and impulsive driving and decision making skills.

Wow. So stupid. But some parents have no sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The BMW X1 M35i goes from 0-60 mph in approximately 5.2 seconds, with a top speed of around 155 mph. OP's daughter can't even get a permit.

What could possibly go wrong here?

The problem is a teen driver. Not the BMW specs. Any car can be fast enough to be deadly if a kid takes their eyes off the road or looks in the wrong direction for a few seconds. Googled Honda Civic statistics follow...

Honda Civic 0-60 mph times vary by model, typically ranging from 4.9 seconds for the high-performance Type R to around 7.2–8.2 seconds for standard turbocharged models (EX/Touring), and up to 9.8 seconds for base 2.0L engines. The 2025 Hybrid is a quick option at 6.2 seconds.

The top speed of a Honda Civic generally ranges between 120 mph and 170+ mph, depending on the model, trim, and engine, with most standard models limited around 130–137 mph. Performance-oriented models like the Civic Si can reach ~145 mph, while the high-performance Type R is capable of over 170 mph.

Agree. I don’t think the car makes much difference from a safety standpoint. Bad drivers are going to be bad drivers and could kill themselves and others in any car. She obv can’t legally drive it until she has a valid license. You can also choose to not let her drive it at all on your parenting time- if that is what you want to do.

Spouse insures the car. If you would otherwise be ok with her having a car and driving, I think the right thing to do is contribute a reasonable amount to car insurance, not necessarily half since it will be much more, but I think somewhere around $200 per month is what it would be if you were covering half the cost of any car a teen is driving. You may also want to look at umbrella insurance. Just because dad bought the car and holds the insurance for it, she is still your child and you could be held legally liable if she damages property or hurts someone.

Can you make the various safety restrictions a condition of her using it? She keeps location sharing on, you install one of those things that alerts you if she goes over a certain speed limit, etc. I don’t have this car but our last car came with an app that showed you exactly how fast it was driving at any point. I loved that with my teen and I would spot check her driving to make sure she was driving okay.

Anonymous wrote:Ex bought daughter a new BMW for her 16th, didn’t ask if I was okay with it, and older child didn’t get one too. Well, now DD is super into driving and is hyper about getting her license even though she failed her permit test twice. How safe would this car be for her? She’s hyper and irresponsible, so I’m worried about that, but Ex seems to not care.

SUPER.

Anonymous wrote:What a waste. I hope her 529 is fully funded and she has a Roth IRA. If not, sell the car and invest in her future. Your ex is an idiot.

This.

The BMW X1 was ranked a "Top Safety Pick" by IIHS, and gets very good safety scores. Good choice.

https://www.iihs.org/ratings/vehicle/bmw/x1-4-door-suv/2025

Anonymous wrote:The BMW X1 M35i goes from 0-60 mph in approximately 5.2 seconds, with a top speed of around 155 mph. OP's daughter can't even get a permit.

What could possibly go wrong here?

The problem is a teen driver. Not the BMW specs. Any car can be fast enough to be deadly if a kid takes their eyes off the road or looks in the wrong direction for a few seconds. Googled Honda Civic statistics follow...

Honda Civic 0-60 mph times vary by model, typically ranging from 4.9 seconds for the high-performance Type R to around 7.2–8.2 seconds for standard turbocharged models (EX/Touring), and up to 9.8 seconds for base 2.0L engines. The 2025 Hybrid is a quick option at 6.2 seconds.

The top speed of a Honda Civic generally ranges between 120 mph and 170+ mph, depending on the model, trim, and engine, with most standard models limited around 130–137 mph. Performance-oriented models like the Civic Si can reach ~145 mph, while the high-performance Type R is capable of over 170 mph.

Anonymous wrote:Only two general issues here (and the rest to be grateful for)

1. X1 is on a higher end for a new car for a new driver. If your ex is paying for the insurance and is ok with covering the cost for any future damage, you are good.

2. This car, as any other, should be equipped with the additional teen driver safety features. Maybe speed governor?

Things to be grateful for:

1. X1 has been rated as one of the safest cars.

2. It is incredibly smooth and easy to drive with a ton of safety features

3. It is not designed as a more traditional sports BMW model. X1 is a relatively small SUV designed with safety in mind. Your ex is incredibly generous to buy this for your DD. Just add safety features as you would for any other car. And, because of ADHD, take every precaution in terms of practice before letting her drive. Once she gets her driver’s permit, you will have a limited time window to teach her good driving skills and intervene if you see any red flags related to ADHD. If she only drives with your ex, she will not get as much of your own input and advice. And she will definitely have fewer supervised driving hours behind her belt before getting on the road on her own.

As far as the car itself goes: expensive, but really good choice for a new driver.

It's a piss poor choice for a brand new driver. There are many, many cars out there with great IIHS Safety ratings that don't accelerate like that or generate that kind of speed.

The BMW X1 M35i goes from 0-60 mph in approximately 5.2 seconds, with a top speed of around 155 mph. OP's daughter can't even get a permit.

What could possibly go wrong here?

Only two general issues here (and the rest to be grateful for)

1. X1 is on a higher end for a new car for a new driver. If your ex is paying for the insurance and is ok with covering the cost for any future damage, you are good.

2. This car, as any other, should be equipped with the additional teen driver safety features. Maybe speed governor?

Things to be grateful for:

1. X1 has been rated as one of the safest cars.

2. It is incredibly smooth and easy to drive with a ton of safety features

3. It is not designed as a more traditional sports BMW model. X1 is a relatively small SUV designed with safety in mind. Your ex is incredibly generous to buy this for your DD. Just add safety features as you would for any other car. And, because of ADHD, take every precaution in terms of practice before letting her drive. Once she gets her driver’s permit, you will have a limited time window to teach her good driving skills and intervene if you see any red flags related to ADHD. If she only drives with your ex, she will not get as much of your own input and advice. And she will definitely have fewer supervised driving hours behind her belt before getting on the road on her own.

As far as the car itself goes: expensive, but really good choice for a new driver.

Not your choice you are divorced.

Anonymous wrote:What a waste. I hope her 529 is fully funded and she has a Roth IRA. If not, sell the car and invest in her future. Your ex is an idiot.

You sound like an idiot. Every financial situation does not impact everyone the same. People are allowed to make choices. Do you know anything about an X-1. Do you know how much money OPs ex makes?