Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:31
Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
At 3 months, I was still exclusively nursing, so baby went where I went. If baby wasn’t welcome, I didn’t go. I wasn’t going to introduce a bottle for someone else’s convenience.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:30
Subject: Not inviting kids.
The entitlement of parents of small kids and infants is staggering.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:29
Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
I would attend the local dinner happily and graciously without complaint, leaving the kids with a sitter or home with DH if not comfortable leaving baby with a sitter. If you need to pop home to nurse the baby (or have the baby brought to you to nurse in a separate room or even in the car, I would). Mine took bottles by 3 months but I understand not all will. Either way, I’d be gracious and participate in the day as much as reasonably possible. I do feel it is reasonable to leave a 3 month old for a few hours and don’t think it is a big ask. TBTH.
I personally would not leave my infant to attend a destination wedding- no matter whose wedding it is. So- I’d just decline. If the children were older, I’d leave them home with DH and attend alone. But a small infant? Not for me.
No point in complaining or putting your parents in the middle of all of this.
I personally would not leave my infant to attend a destination wedding- no matter whose wedding it is. So- I’d just decline. If the children were older, I’d leave them home with DH and attend alone. But a small infant? Not for me.
No point in complaining or putting your parents in the middle of all of this.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:26
Subject: Not inviting kids.
Don't take this personally, don't convince yourself that wedding plans were made deliberately to spite/exclude your, and definitely don't implicate your parents in your brother's / his fiancé's decisions.
Go if you want to, don't go if you don't. Creating drama within your family will not benefit your/your children's lives. Lashing out just to make a point to your brother/parents would really be cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Go if you want to, don't go if you don't. Creating drama within your family will not benefit your/your children's lives. Lashing out just to make a point to your brother/parents would really be cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:26
Subject: Not inviting kids.
This is not targeted at you. They're having a small private wedding party. I'd go to local and make arrangements with infant (have DH stay behind) and do bottle/pump/go and feed when necessary. You can just stay for an hour. Then obviously skip the European trip.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:25
Subject: Not inviting kids.
This happened to me with my siblings (both got married within a year of each other while I had very young kids). The difference was they expected me and my husband to be in the bridal party and just assumed we would get childcare for the weekend (the weddings were 5-6 hours away). No one even tried to help me or even acknowledge how much harder it was for me to attend their weddings. They just demanded we leave our kids, attend and take care of all their bridal party things for three days each. Meanwhile I got married near the house they were both still living in with my parents and childfree. A few years later my sister actually complained to me when her friend expected her to attend a wedding when my sister had a toddler! She couldn’t believe someone asked her to leave her child. I still resent my siblings and parents for this. I would just skip the destination wedding; they probably won’t care or appreciate if you go out of your way to attend.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:24
Subject: Not inviting kids.
It does seem very targeted. You said he doesn't like you. Just don't gom
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:23
Subject: Not inviting kids.
Would you really want to bring your newborn into a public place (restaurant )? Lots of weddings do not include children. Not sure of your courthouse timing, but with regular weddings, you don't see dinner until 8 PM. Your toddler would be a mess.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:14
Subject: Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:Brother is getting married. I am married with 2 kids (2yo and 1mo). We aren't particularly close, I don't have issues with him but I know he doesn't care for me much. He is getting married in two "parts":
1. Local courthouse wedding after which my parents are hosting and paying for a small dinner (~15 people) at a restaurant. Parents invited me then I said "great the 4 of us will be there". They said "oh actually kids aren't invited, please find an arrangement for them". With a 3mo old at the time that will need to breastfeed every 1-2hrs this isn't really realistic. I've asked if there's any flexibility for our infant and have not heard back. Nobody else in the group has kids under 18 let alone an infant so this seems quite targeted at us at my brother's behest. My parents have long had favoritism/pleasing this brother at all costs issues.
2. Destination wedding in Western Europe. Smaller wedding and also none of the guests have minor children. Very clear on the wedding website "THIS IS NOT A CHILD-FRIENDLY EVENT" in all caps. We will probably not go.
Am I right to be a little put off? Obviously it's 100% your right to have a child-free wedding but it just seems very targeted at us, and I'm probably more disappointed my parents are going along with brother excluding his niece and nephew from both events.
Do you even care that your brother is getting married?
Do you always take things this personally?
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:13
Subject: Not inviting kids.
1) It's not about you, get that chip off your shoulder.
2) Don't go to Europe. Duh.
3) For my sibling, with a local, small wedding, even with a 3 month old, I'd really try to make that work, and least for a couple hours. Options include - pumping for one bottle, timing feeds around the ceremony (can you feed baby, go to the ceremony, go back to feed baby, go to the restaurant for a bit?), having the baby at a nearby location with a sitter or your husband so its easier for you to pop over, just going for a short while. Honestly, I have three kids, two of the three were nursing, and by 3 months, I was ready for a (local, low key) night out all three times, and I think that's fairly typical.
2) Don't go to Europe. Duh.
3) For my sibling, with a local, small wedding, even with a 3 month old, I'd really try to make that work, and least for a couple hours. Options include - pumping for one bottle, timing feeds around the ceremony (can you feed baby, go to the ceremony, go back to feed baby, go to the restaurant for a bit?), having the baby at a nearby location with a sitter or your husband so its easier for you to pop over, just going for a short while. Honestly, I have three kids, two of the three were nursing, and by 3 months, I was ready for a (local, low key) night out all three times, and I think that's fairly typical.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 12:11
Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Children of relatives are always included even if it is a "no-kids" wedding. Hire a few baby sitters etc, hire a adjacent room etc. This is big fuxing bs excuse.
Are the grown ups fornicating at the wedding that kids are not allowed? Relatives Kids are always allowed and parents whisk them off when they start to cry etc. Parents make it happen.
OP - Do not go. I am shocked that you still want a relationship with your side of the family. Lean into your DH's side of the family and the grandparents.
This is such BS. Plenty of people have kid and baby free weddings.
I am sick of people acting like their kids are entitled to go to other people's weddings. People hire babysitters and put their kids in day cares etc for all sorts of things! But for some reason, they can't leave them alone for a few hours to go to a wedding? It's ridiculous.
Get over yourself, OP. This day isn't about you and your babies who are way too young to remember this wedding. You sound self centered, which is why your brother doesn't like you.
+1
I wouldn’t have wanted infants at our immediate family dinner prior to the wedding.
Even if they’re nieces and nephews, they’re infants and not suitable for a dinner like that. The kids will see your family again soon enough - they can skip out on one meal.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 11:53
Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
My brother and parents did this too. The wedding was his second and it was a 10 hour flight. I didn’t go. Heard that my mom lied to someone and said it was too expensive for us, but the truth was my kids were not invited.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 11:51
Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:Children of relatives are always included even if it is a "no-kids" wedding. Hire a few baby sitters etc, hire a adjacent room etc. This is big fuxing bs excuse.
Are the grown ups fornicating at the wedding that kids are not allowed? Relatives Kids are always allowed and parents whisk them off when they start to cry etc. Parents make it happen.
OP - Do not go. I am shocked that you still want a relationship with your side of the family. Lean into your DH's side of the family and the grandparents.
+100
Anonymous
02/27/2026 11:49
Subject: Not inviting kids.
Looks like you get to skip the wedding! Enjoy!
Anonymous
02/27/2026 11:49
Subject: Re:Not inviting kids.
Anonymous wrote:Children of relatives are always included even if it is a "no-kids" wedding. Hire a few baby sitters etc, hire a adjacent room etc. This is big fuxing bs excuse.
Are the grown ups fornicating at the wedding that kids are not allowed? Relatives Kids are always allowed and parents whisk them off when they start to cry etc. Parents make it happen.
OP - Do not go. I am shocked that you still want a relationship with your side of the family. Lean into your DH's side of the family and the grandparents.
This is such BS. Plenty of people have kid and baby free weddings.
I am sick of people acting like their kids are entitled to go to other people's weddings. People hire babysitters and put their kids in day cares etc for all sorts of things! But for some reason, they can't leave them alone for a few hours to go to a wedding? It's ridiculous.
Get over yourself, OP. This day isn't about you and your babies who are way too young to remember this wedding. You sound self centered, which is why your brother doesn't like you.