Anonymous
02/27/2026 08:40
Subject: Re:I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How to win friends and influence people by Carnegie Mellon.
Are you rude to people that are good with people and funny and can banter?
I think you mean Dale Carnegie.
lol. I was talking to niece about Carnegie Mellon … oops!
Anonymous
02/27/2026 08:24
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Many quiet people are adored. For example, many people love their quiet therapist. To understand why, you can try an easy therapy technique: parrot people back to themselves. If they tell a story about a wonderful dinner, you can say, “That dinner does sound wonderful.” It makes them feel understood. It encourages them to open up even more.
If you do it a lot, eventually you’ll see it’s not always fun being the one sought out. Usually people are seeking you out because you give them something, like listening or care or understanding or, as you observe, fun or laughter. Small talk that settles into relationships are two people who seek each other out. It’s reciprocal.
People might not dislike you at all. They might just not be getting much from you.
If you do it a lot, eventually you’ll see it’s not always fun being the one sought out. Usually people are seeking you out because you give them something, like listening or care or understanding or, as you observe, fun or laughter. Small talk that settles into relationships are two people who seek each other out. It’s reciprocal.
People might not dislike you at all. They might just not be getting much from you.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 07:52
Subject: Re:I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Me too OP. I do try to ask questions but I was raised that asking a lot of questions is nosy / busy-body behavior so it makes me feel awkward. I love when I find a long talker!
Anonymous
02/27/2026 05:01
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
OP, I am too. I’m good with it but I often wonder how these people can think so creatively so fast. It’s a skill I’d love to have.
I’m a bookish nerd who loves to travel but can homebody for days as well. I’ve come to realize conversation exhausts me but it fuels others.
I’m had a rough childhood and can get stuck inside my head analyzing what I said and wondering if ppl like me. Most of the time, I’d rather avoid.
I’m a bookish nerd who loves to travel but can homebody for days as well. I’ve come to realize conversation exhausts me but it fuels others.
I’m had a rough childhood and can get stuck inside my head analyzing what I said and wondering if ppl like me. Most of the time, I’d rather avoid.
Anonymous
02/27/2026 04:53
Subject: Re:I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Change your ways.
You have admitted that you are boring ➕ stuffy.
👏🏽
Congratulations…..not many people take that first step.
Acknowledgement is no.#1.
You have admitted that you are boring ➕ stuffy.
👏🏽
Congratulations…..not many people take that first step.
Acknowledgement is no.#1.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 21:29
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Entertainers need an audience.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 21:29
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Intense, intellectual and analytical are not problems.
Guardedness is a problem as connection literally happens through vulnerability. If you don’t let people see you, they can’t know you. If they can’t know you, they can’t connect with you.
It also signals that maybe you’re not a safe person to be vulnerable with.
Vulnerability is scary, but try it. Start small. Maybe one embarrassing thing that happened that morning.
Guardedness is a problem as connection literally happens through vulnerability. If you don’t let people see you, they can’t know you. If they can’t know you, they can’t connect with you.
It also signals that maybe you’re not a safe person to be vulnerable with.
Vulnerability is scary, but try it. Start small. Maybe one embarrassing thing that happened that morning.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 21:22
Subject: Re:I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Anonymous wrote:How to win friends and influence people by Carnegie Mellon.
Are you rude to people that are good with people and funny and can banter?
I think you mean Dale Carnegie.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 21:21
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
I'm one of those witty, bantering extroverts and I find intense, intellectual people really interesting, as long as they aren't depressing or unkind. So if this is your thing, just know that you won't be everyone's cup of tea but that's ok. You don't have to be.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 21:20
Subject: Re:I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op I am similar. I am "lucky" though because my husband is very outgoing and witty....so I am able to leech off of his relationships in many settings like family/school communities and even over lapping work stuff as we are both lawyers (though totally different kinds, but I notice at conferences we attend together vs separate I am received MUCH better when he's in the room). What bothers me the most is I think people assume I have low self esteem or am unsure of myself or depressed. I am lucky to have never been any of those; I truly am just boring. I enjoy MY life though so I don't worry as much about how my life isn't exciting. But I know how it feels when you can tell people think you are kinda blah, it bothered me a lot in my youth. As my kids get older its becoming less of a problem but the early "mom group" years were torturous on my soul!
Op here. I relate! I have a serious disposition and I enjoy depth and analysis and thinking through things. It’s really hard for me to make witty jokes about nothing on a whim and make everyone laugh and partake in casual chitchat.
I usually allow the witty people to engage the room and laugh along; but i can’t really form a meaningful connection with them.
NP. I am like you. Does anything non-intellectual interest you? Nature, exercise, helping kids? It might be helpful to be less in one’s head.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 14:16
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
At least you are self-aware. You don't have to entertain anyone.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 13:37
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Anonymous wrote:I’m not the one making witty banter or laughing loudly as I make my way through a room charming everyone. I’m intense and guarded and intellectually inclined.
It’s been hard as I think people don’t like me and find it hard to connect with me.
Any advice on how to navigate the world?
Op curious what prompted this post? Did something happen to make you feel that way? A specific event or outing?
Personally I find some of the people making fake witty comments to be fake and they are way too familiar with the DC social scene. A few grew up here and spend their life at cocktail parties making fake small talk. No deep or genuine conversations.
My advice to you is avoid cocktail parties - those are not designed for you. You would be better at a sit down situation where you are in a small group talking whether dinners or gatherings where once is able to sit and have a conversation. I was at sit down event last night and I had much better conversations in that setting than at a cocktail event I was at over the weekend.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 12:43
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Following since I have a similar profile to OP.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 12:33
Subject: I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Op, you just need better radar to find/know what personalities of others are a match for you. That's on you to ponder, reflect. And then initiate.
Anonymous
02/26/2026 12:31
Subject: Re:I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
Resting B__ Face. DCUM won't let me post the word.
Don't have it. To not have it, you have to practically, consciously, remember to slightly smile in order to project a neutral facial expression and not have a sour expression.
Don't have it. To not have it, you have to practically, consciously, remember to slightly smile in order to project a neutral facial expression and not have a sour expression.