I was a tom boy too and balked at dressing up all the time. Part of it was that every time a dressy occasion came up, people made such a big deal out of me wearing a dress that it amplified my insecurities. I don't have a ton of advice, but please don't give up and try not to be frustrated. Maybe look at some things online (Macys, kohls, the children's place) and look at both dresses and pants. show her pictures of a formal wedding. If you get some ideas, see if she will go to a store and try a few things on.

A girls suit

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jumpsuit!

Also, don't worry too much about her not being perfectly "formal". No one really cares what kids are wearing at these events. Her feeling comfortable is more important. You've gotten some great options on this thread.

While I’d advise against a jumpsuit because of the hassle involved when going to the restroom, if you want to go that route, here’s one that’s pretty.
https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-7811136/girls-7-16-speechless-sheer-sleeve-scuba-crepe-jumpsuit-with-matching-hair-bow.jsp?skuid=47042665&CID=shopping30&utm_campaign=GIRLS%20DOMESTIC%20APPRL&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=47042665&utm_campaignid=23528781037&CID=shopping30&utm_campaign=SSC&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_campaignid=23528781037&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23519039685&gbraid=0AAAAADytpHai8FBZAvuoQH_-Cy1zZx5hI&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0cTZqr33kgMVNGBHAR1aoh8bEAQYDiABEgI0dvD_BwE

I think jumpsuit is the way to go but don’t make a “not girly girl” wear pink.

Anonymous wrote:What about something like this: https://us.boden.com/products/girls-puff-sleeve-woven-top-chambray-broderie-g5904blu

That's appropriate for a spring wedding on a farm, not a black tie optional wedding.

Can you take her to an H&M and let her browse and find a few things that appeal to her? It is hard to recommend without knowing more about her style.

Another option is finding some different androgynous looks on Pinterest and asking her what she thinks is cool. Then try to replicate.

Anonymous wrote:Black leggings and a fancier sweater or tunic sort of top.

Fancy things up with a cheap crossbody purse or sparkly shoes.

To a black tie event?!

Anonymous wrote:I was a tom boy and on formal occassions had to suck it up and wear a dress or a skirt. That is a part of life.

She can look at nicer dressy pants and tops with you or find a flowy skirt or dress that is comfortable and not constraining. Get her a pair of shorts like the cheer kids wear under their skirt so she can wear that underneath.

We shouldn't have to 'suck it up anymore'

Anonymous wrote:Black leggings and a fancier sweater or tunic sort of top.

Fancy things up with a cheap crossbody purse or sparkly shoes.

Black LEGGINGS and a SWEATER? At a WEDDING? Absolutely not. I would sooner make my child stay home than let them show up at a wedding dressed that way. The wedding is not about the child - she's old enough to understand that.

Wide leg “dress pants” possibly with an elastic waist that feel like sweatpants. Maybe valor or something silky/satin paired with a nicer top or sweater.

One of my twin nieces dresses like this and it is adorable.

The Boden pants posted above and horrendous with that top but with a plain sweater could work. Hayden has something called smocked waist ones that would look fancy enough with a black top and dress shoes or boots.

Anonymous wrote:Jumpsuit!

Also, don't worry too much about her not being perfectly "formal". No one really cares what kids are wearing at these events. Her feeling comfortable is more important. You've gotten some great options on this thread.

While I’d advise against a jumpsuit because of the hassle involved when going to the restroom, if you want to go that route, here’s one that’s pretty.
https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-7811136/girls-7-16-speechless-sheer-sleeve-scuba-crepe-jumpsuit-with-matching-hair-bow.jsp?skuid=47042665&CID=shopping30&utm_campaign=GIRLS%20DOMESTIC%20APPRL&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=47042665&utm_campaignid=23528781037&CID=shopping30&utm_campaign=SSC&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_campaignid=23528781037&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23519039685&gbraid=0AAAAADytpHai8FBZAvuoQH_-Cy1zZx5hI&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0cTZqr33kgMVNGBHAR1aoh8bEAQYDiABEgI0dvD_BwE

She might have sensory issues and just needs to be shown that fancy clothes can be comfortable. Since I have sensory issues, I have always made an effort to find non-scratchy clothes for my children. This meant cutting off tags carefully, not putting wool or acrylic sweaters directly against their skin, and finding natural fiber clothing, even for dress clothes. It's getting harder and harder for girls' dresses, which are now mostly polyester, but I have found silk or cotton sateen dresses, cotton tights, round-toed leather shoes, etc. It's a lot more expensive, but to me it's worth it so that my children are comfortable and aren't scared off by fancy dress.

Why does she have to wear a tie? There are nice, dressy tops that would be appropriate. Seems as though you are setting up this battle by not giving her options other than tie or dress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about something like this: https://us.boden.com/products/girls-puff-sleeve-woven-top-chambray-broderie-g5904blu

WTF, no!

If you aren't also going to offer an alternative, then see yourself out.

Anonymous wrote:What about a pants/shirt combo with some bling? Like velour, sequins, lace, etc.

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/aqua-girls-sequinned-pants-big-kid-exclusive

https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=852835012&vid=1&searchText=velour#pdp-page-content

I’m not sure what season the wedding is, so I’m not sure what type of top you might want.

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/katiejnyc-girls-mara-sweater-big-kid?ID=5672622&CategoryID=1272420#PAGEINDEX/2

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/habitual-kid-girls-7-16-faux-mohair-sweater-top?ID=24012331&isDlp=true

https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=884851012&vid=1&tid=onpl000106&kwid=1&ap=7&ds_agid=17394600446-&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17382863991&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8sVVnGmxj7M6NJYR08UaSLIz&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIusKT78T3kgMVRVBHAR1wPBZJEAQYAyABEgLhwPD_BwE

https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=856477012&vid=1&tid=gppl000061&kwid=1&ap=7&ds_agid=17446994394-&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17458099871&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8unRTs0FtNr8PjlqxuNlyfUb&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqouyyb73kgMVAU1HAR235ji8EAQYJSABEgK3qPD_BwE#pdp-page-content

https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=843490012&vid=1&pcid=1153699&cid=1153699&nav=hamnav%3AGirls%3ACategories%3AShirts+%26+Tops#pdp-page-content

If nothing else, you can get a plain, solid-colored knit shirt and she can wear a necklace or pin with it.

https://www.childrensplace.com/us/p/Girls-Short-Sleeve-Tulip-Top-3059240-32I8

Oops! The first link for sequined pants from Bloomingdale was broken somehow. Here’s the correct link.
https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/aqua-girls-sequinned-pants-big-kid-exclusive?ID=5793674&pla_country=US&gclsrc=aw.ds&&cm_mmc=Google-PLA-ADC-_-S21+High+Opportunity+Brands-_-Aqua-_-193328598608USA-_-go_cmp-12731782004_adg-124409716241_ad-513824168629_pla-350152259919_dev-m_ext-_prd-193328598608USA&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12731782004&gbraid=0AAAAAD0PCJS9kBUd9S2FXuYBZaj_BoMKu&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6qCVpLP3kgMVKF5HAR28FSzaEA0YAiABEgKc3PD_BwE

Jumpsuit!

Also, don't worry too much about her not being perfectly "formal". No one really cares what kids are wearing at these events. Her feeling comfortable is more important. You've gotten some great options on this thread.