Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t know what we’re dealing with here. What is “overweight”? Many tweens are pudgy right before they get their growth spurts. Are we dealing with an almond mom? OP admits to an eating disorder and many such parents transfer their disordered view of weight to their kids. Talk to the doctor. There’s a slim chance that the DD has a metabolic syndrome, but we may just have a case of a normal weight/build child in the midst of naturally slim people.

The mom is describing a kid that over eats. These kids exists. There are kids at every birthday party that eat their share of pizza and cake, lick the plate and want another piece. Then there are the kids that eat a few bites of everything then move on to playing and aren’t that interested in food

Overeats by her standards. What’s the size of the serving? Growing kids eat food. I had a slim kid who would go through periods of prodigious consumption, especially right before a growth spurt. It’s just hard to tell how much of what OP is describing is through her filter.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t know what we’re dealing with here. What is “overweight”? Many tweens are pudgy right before they get their growth spurts. Are we dealing with an almond mom? OP admits to an eating disorder and many such parents transfer their disordered view of weight to their kids. Talk to the doctor. There’s a slim chance that the DD has a metabolic syndrome, but we may just have a case of a normal weight/build child in the midst of naturally slim people.

The mom is describing a kid that over eats. These kids exists. There are kids at every birthday party that eat their share of pizza and cake, lick the plate and want another piece. Then there are the kids that eat a few bites of everything then move on to playing and aren’t that interested in food

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can kids get glp1s? If yes I’d consider as it reduces appetite

FFS, you people are the worst. A mom who admits to an eating disorder comes on here talking about her fat daughter. Nowhere does she mention visits to the pediatrician, how overweight her daughter is, what percentile she is in, if the doctor is concerned…

OP, take your daughter to her pediatrician and get actual medical advice.

No doctor wants to tell female child they are overweight, and they won’t.Unless they are morbidly obese, all the dr is going to do is say some canned bs about make sure you are eating fruits and vegetables, and staying active.

We don’t know what we’re dealing with here. What is “overweight”? Many tweens are pudgy right before they get their growth spurts. Are we dealing with an almond mom? OP admits to an eating disorder and many such parents transfer their disordered view of weight to their kids. Talk to the doctor. There’s a slim chance that the DD has a metabolic syndrome, but we may just have a case of a normal weight/build child in the midst of naturally slim people.

Anonymous wrote:Can kids get glp1s? If yes I’d consider as it reduces appetite

FFS, you people are the worst. A mom who admits to an eating disorder comes on here talking about her fat daughter. Nowhere does she mention visits to the pediatrician, how overweight her daughter is, what percentile she is in, if the doctor is concerned…

OP, take your daughter to her pediatrician and get actual medical advice.

I wonder if she was allowed high fat foods, would she feel more satiated? I’m not saying cookies and ice cream all the time, but full fat yogurt with fruit and a small portion of granola. Peanut butter sandwiches on good bread. Eggs cooked in olive oil or ghee. Chicken thighs and roasted vegetables with oil for dinner, brown rice with a little butter on the side.

A lot of adult women go low fat, but kids need that fat more than we do. Eating low fat may decrease satiety, ultimately causing her to take in more calories.

I would work with a registered dietitian to make sure she's getting the foods she needs to feel full at meal time. Working with a dietitian (not nutritionist, look for an RD or RDN or LDN) will also teach your child about proper nutrition.

Anonymous wrote:Your younger DD is a foodie; my youngest son is like this. Enjoys food, trying new things and cooking. Please don’t body shame, just explain to her the downside of being a foodie - it’s easy to put on weight.

The other side of the coin may be boredom; being bored and being a foodie is not a good combination. Does she do an activity? DS now plays futsal - the running will help keep him in shape. Can DD play tennis? Walk the dog? Neighborhood pick up soccer? Anything that gets her moving/running would help…

Oh my god, did you really just call a 10 year old a foodie? Get a grip.

To echo a few other commenters, get a neuropsych to get her tested for ADHD. I came to say the same thing - common symptom for girls. Many pediatricians have no idea and will shame you and your DD but never consider a medical cause.

At 10 years old your DD should not be confused about the idea that baked goods are not at all healthy.

My 11 year old is like this and in the last year it's really helped that he has been willing to try more new "adult" foods (i.e. the main meals we cook that he would only eat the plain grain portion of when younger). He really likes meat, so we've gone from cooking vegetarian 5-6 days a week to cooking with meat at least half the time. We also serve a big salad every night at dinner and fruit with multiple meals. Now it seems like he is filling up more with fiber rich foods and protein, which has made portion control of simple carbs less of an issue. So I hope maybe focusing on different food groups and trying new things could help your DD as well.

The two kids having opposite needs is tough. I will give you that. But does the thin DD really need to eat more than the overweight one, or is the issue that you are trying to get her to eat closer to as much? It seems like a framing issue.

I have a kid like this, without the complication of the thin older sibling though. My son is just obsessed with food, it's weird. He's 9 and also pretty active (does a lot of sports) so he hasn't put on a ton of weight, but when he sits more than normal, he gets chubby pretty quickly.

He does not really like protein, which I think is part of the problem, so we talk a ton about the variety of foods he needs to build muscle. If he says he's hungry outside of meal time, he can eat as much fruit or veggies as he wants, but can only have a little of something else. It's not perfect, and it feels like a constant struggle that I don't have with my other kids. I do have a kid with ADHD, and I wonder about him, but this is practically the only symptom I see in him (he also interrupts people a ton), so we're not doing testing at this time. I do think it's probably brain wiring though, even if it's not fully ADHD. I try to deflect some of his "food noise" into other pursuits, since that works some too. As in- "are you hungry or bored? Why don't we go shoot baskets?"

We also have 2 kids that need totally opposite diet. Offering both kids “similar” healthy food/snacks, and do some variation on portion size and fat , e.g. using food scale to measure, bigger portion for older DD with higher fat ( whole milk yogurt, granola bar in lunch box, as an example), while the opposite for younger DD ( something not sweet for lunch box). We also have the DC needs weight control to go sports/exercise nearly everyday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad advice to have high fat ice cream for one and low fat food for the other one. A lot of kids are really thin. My mother always told the doctor she was worried about our toothpick arms and legs and overall lack of weight. Doctor told her that kids won’t starve themselves, don’t worry. None of us had any eating disorders growing up.

We all know kids who are super skinny and they grow up to skinny adults. There’s no reason to fatten her up. Same with overweight kids unless they can get proportions of food way down.

My daughter friend is obese and has always been, same with her mother. They eat very large portions, I mean huge. If they could only cut those portions to 1/3 of their current portions they would lose about 2-3 pounds a week.

OP here. The goal isn't "fattening up" older DD. Older DD's lack of food intake is impairing her growth, so food is helping her have enough nutrients to reach a proper height. Right now she is 0.1% in weight and 1% in height, and hasn't grown much in height in 3-4 years. And unfortunately DH's two siblings as adults are now overweight; DH works very hard to exercise and eat healthfully like normal adults; whatever this is doesn't just let them be skinny adults, at least not throughout their lives. But I appreciate the challenge and I also feel like it's an impossible situation sometimes.

Stop saying healthfully

Anonymous wrote:Can kids get glp1s? If yes I’d consider as it reduces appetite

You’re a moron please don’t give advice