I think 12 to 16 is most difficult regardless of gender with peak intensity from 13 to 15..

Mine is almost 16 and I am still waiting for the difficult part. He has inattentive-type ADHD, so that can be (and always has been) frustrating, but he is a really sweet kid 98% of the time.

8th and 9th grade were awful for my son. So bad, we were concerned at one point he wouldn’t even graduate. 10th was significantly better and 11th and 12th were great.

Firstborn son- 20; college sophomore. Always polite, forthcoming, sweet. Zero issues,

Current HS senior- end of 8th grade (14) was rough, pushing boundaries. I didn’t like the friend group. Went to a private HS- so easy and smooth; just sports and school.

Currently- it’s feeling like the end of 8th grade. 17 years old. A bit of talk back. A bit of I’ll be 18 soon stuff. More secrets. Though starting to come out if that bit this month. He still can be sweet- but moody.

The younger one def had delayed puberty and I think that’s why we are seeing more now. Hormones.

I got lucky that both always did very well in school- all As w/out us ever having to push.

I do think my 2nd one has a greater chance of going off the rails in college because his personality has always been more adventurous, etc. we are focusing on instilling good habits now—about sleep habits, phone use, etc., so when he’s on his own some will stick.

I have 2 teens. I thought 13 was worst for both - 8th grade. Both are decent in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Yes, it's always those 6 months, OP. Never fails. On the dot. Law of nature inscribed in the genes.

To be fair to OP, I used to teach middle and then high school and there is no age on the planet quite like a freshman boy (14-15). They are their own genre of human.

Haha. My freshman DS is pretty well-behaved but he and his friends are just nuts. They’ll talk online for 4 hours about the most inane things. Oh and always exaggerating about their sports abilities to each other.

Anonymous wrote:


Yes, it's always those 6 months, OP. Never fails. On the dot. Law of nature inscribed in the genes.

To be fair to OP, I used to teach middle and then high school and there is no age on the planet quite like a freshman boy (14-15). They are their own genre of human.

9th grade was the worst for all 3 of my boys, so yes, I would agree 14-15 was the worst. It was the perfect storm of hormones, executive functioning not up to high school levels in high school, poor impulse control, and hyper concern for what other people think. Ugh.

Anonymous wrote:Our rough patch was 9-12. He’s 15 and been great since then.

9 to 12 was hard and I was terrified of the teen years but they have been great so far, granted he’s only 14 and hasn’t started high school yet so I recognize that could change.

High school was easy. It’s middle school that was rough for boys and girls

My son toughest so far was 13-15.5. He’s 16 now and it’s been better - but keep worrying for the other show to drop. Our son is autistic so that impacts his ability to process peers. But sports have been great for him.

Anonymous wrote:We're at 16 and it's still not better

Almost 18 and same.

My son is 16 and just starting to be super annoying. Overly reactive.

We're at 16 and it's still not better

Anonymous wrote:Definitely difficult for my son. Ninth grade particularly awful. Things completely improved by junior year.

Same.