I graduated from a much lower prestige college than the one I was first admitted to, because I flunked out of that one. That wasn’t really a fluke. I developed anxiety and depression freshman year, but I didn’t realize it and it wasn’t diagnosed or treated.

Sure, I had the fluke of being poor from a family with no HS graduates. I ended up at a local non-selective SUNY with a 98th pct SAT and close to 4.0. GPA. Easy Ivy material 35 years ago. I'm from NY and Cornell would have been a gimme at that time. I got aid at Rochester and Syracuse but nothing beat living at home and free after TAP when your budget is basically nothing.

Turned out OK, did fine then went to a solid grad school. Had a great career in the Silicon Valley. We work with what is in front of us, don't look back.

This wasn't really a fluke but I know of a legendary story (true story) at our school. Hope I'm not outing the family (not in DVM).

For years, the captain of our high school's physics team ALWAYS got accepted to MIT. It was like clockwork. Competition to become captain was so fierce that students (and parents) started jockeying for position and building relationship with the teacher who ran the team since the kids were in middle school (some by 4th grade!). I tried too but soon realized our DCs were not MIT material. One year, the captain was so confident about getting into MIT that he used his SCEA on Stanford instead and thought he could get into MIT during RD as a backup. He applied to just a few more top schools (Caltech, HYP) when he didn't get into S. You already know how this story ends. The counselor had to call around to get this high stat kid into colleges. He ended up at RPI which is of course not a bad school, but he was the one who broke the MIT streak.

Went to an economically diverse, community focused high school which, as we discovered, prides itself on massive grade deflation in the math and history departments.

Meanwhile, the nationally famous HSY feeder down the road - which looked scarily elite and intense - offers unlimited retakes and has incredible placement.

SAT scores are basically the same across the schools.

Oops.

My "fluke" was finding out in my 40's that I'm severely dyslexic not stupid.

My "fluke" was being a first generation college student and having parents that were lower middle class and zero idea of what to do, plus living in a rural area where there was no help for aiming higher.

I applied to ivy and low level safety and didn't get into ivy.

Anonymous wrote:I know I can’t change the past, but I can’t stop thinking about how much more prestigious a college I could’ve gone to if I hadn’t made that one silly mistake.

Please tell your DC not to worry about this. I went to a no-name college no one's heard of, but then went to Penn for law school and now that is the only thing anyone in my field cares about. Conversely, my friend went to Princeton undergrad but Seton Hall for law, and everyone at her firm sees her as a Seton Hall grad. College is really not that important if you go onto grad or professional school so keep in mind that is where you need the prestige more.

Nope. You're the only one.

I was a high stats grad of a public school in Nebraska with well-balanced ECs and a bit of pointy-ness in one. I had zero college counseling at school or home.

I realize now that I was a geographic diversity unicorn (legit strong from one of the smallest population states in the US). I wish someone— anyone— would have directed me to either merit aid or just plain financial aid. I had NO idea either of these were a thing. I went to the college I could pay for myself, pay as you go

Anonymous wrote:I went to a much lower ranked law school than I could have because I wanted to be in a particular city that I had romanticized due to how it was portrayed in books.

No regrets at all. Glad I made the decision I did.

So glad it all worked out. I’m so curious to hear which city!

I ended up at a lower-ranked college that I preferred over a higher-ranked one because of a fluke.

I'd applied to our state flagship and a regional college that I considered a safety. In my HS honors program, everyone just assumed you'd go to the flagship if you got in. I got in, then got denied by the safety. Getting the denial upset me and made me realize how much I really did prefer it to the flagship. I called the admissions office to ask about their summer options. They pulled up my file and saw that none of my application had been scanned in (this was a long time ago!), and all they had were my test scores (very high). They'd known there'd been a scanning screw up and had fixed what they could but missed mine. They told me on the phone I was admitted and I went there.

It was kind of a more dramatic version of the advice to flip a coin when you are having trouble choosing between two options and focus on how you feel about the result.

Peers gave me crap about turning down the flagship but the other school really was a better fit, I did well there, and it set me up well for my career.

I went to a much lower ranked law school than I could have because I wanted to be in a particular city that I had romanticized due to how it was portrayed in books.

No regrets at all. Glad I made the decision I did.

I know that Mikey from the Chex commercials back in my day never should have eaten Pop Rocks and had a Coke in the same sitting. Rookie mistake.

I know a woman who retook the SAT senior fall, did like 200+ better, and somehow the scores weren’t released and she didn’t realize it until too late to impact acceptances. It came up because her SAT scores should have gotten her automatic merit at the state school she chose to attend, and she called them when she didn’t get the aid. They were able to get her the aid, but then she realized all the ivies etc also hadn’t seen her improved score.

How long ago was this, OP?

If you graduated college more than a few years ago, I encourage you to accept (and make the very most of!) “what is” rather than dwelling on imaginary versions of “what might have been”.

I say this with kindness, not judgment.

Disappointment and regret are powerful emotions, and they can really pull you down and keep you stuck if you let them.

We all make mistakes in life. I’m guessing every single person reading this post can identify at least one mistake (or road not taken) that changed the course of their life in a big way.

Mistakes are unavoidable. The key to happiness, success, and peace is what you choose to do next. And then next after that. And then next after that.

Focus on where you are now. What’s one good choice you can make today to move things forward? What’s one thing you appreciate about your life today?

Read up on other ways to practice and build resilience, presence, and emotional steadiness. It’s all available to you, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past. Wishing you peace and much success! 💗