Anonymous wrote:You're too in the weeds. He's too hands-off. You probably got like this because you both react to each other.

My husband is like yours, and instead of stressing myself out to correct every little thing, I let a ton of stuff slide. I have to. I would drive myself crazy trying to rush around living both our lives. So we muddle through, and we try to focus on the actually important things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH came in this morning and told me someone hit our car. He has no idea who, or when. The car was perfectly fine when he left this morning. It was perfectly fine when he parked it yesterday afternoon. He only noticed it when he came out of his morning appointment, but "who knows when it happened." Since the car door opens he says, oh well, there is nothing to be done about it, not worth calling insurance over or asking neighbors if they have doorcams, or the office he was at this morning. This is classic DH. There is a problem. He does nothing to fix it.

What would you do 1) about the car and 2) with a DH who generally claims things aren't a problem so if it's such a big deal to me then I have to do something. We're talking very basic stuff like cleaning bathrooms and floors more than once every two months (we have children!), fresh fruits and vegetables (on the rare occasion he cooks, never any vegetables even though they are in the refrigerator), activities for kids (aside from 1 week of scout camp he thinks the kids should just "find something to do.") I don't put them in camps all summer but I do take them places, mostly free, but occasionally there is a fee for a water park or something. And then he complains it is unnecessary. He thinks I'm "making work" for myself and creating unnecessary expenses (we can easily afford the things I do with the kids).

I feel like he's constantly adding to my "To Do List" because I'm cleaning up behind him and finishing what he leaves undone, while he spends developing new skills and on his hobbies. I have no free time because he leaves things undone or refuses to do anything and says if I care so much its on me to do something. I'm so frustrated. And now I have to figure out this car dent too, or drive around a banged-up car.

If you don’t put kids in camp all summer, who is watching them? Do you work?

If you are a SAHM this is a classic assignment of duties.

As for the car dent, asking neighbors and offices for camera footage is INSANITY. You pay out of pocket, use uninsured motorist insurance, or live with it. You are not Nancy Drew; what are you going to do with footage anyways? Call the FBI?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband needs to report the hit and run accident to your insurance company.

Not you.

Omg no, if its a dent to the fender that is not mechanically unsound, you pay out of pocket or live with it. Calling insurance will make rates rise.

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband needs to report the hit and run accident to your insurance company.

Not you.

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know about the car and ask around for footage. I also don't trust he didn't do it.

But he sounds generally lazy and my DH does crap like this so he doesn't have "more" work to do but it's just lazy. I can't deal with it much anymore along with other things don't think this is going to last.

Anonymous wrote:DH came in this morning and told me someone hit our car. He has no idea who, or when. The car was perfectly fine when he left this morning. It was perfectly fine when he parked it yesterday afternoon. He only noticed it when he came out of his morning appointment, but "who knows when it happened." Since the car door opens he says, oh well, there is nothing to be done about it, not worth calling insurance over or asking neighbors if they have doorcams, or the office he was at this morning. This is classic DH. There is a problem. He does nothing to fix it.

What would you do 1) about the car and 2) with a DH who generally claims things aren't a problem so if it's such a big deal to me then I have to do something. We're talking very basic stuff like cleaning bathrooms and floors more than once every two months (we have children!), fresh fruits and vegetables (on the rare occasion he cooks, never any vegetables even though they are in the refrigerator), activities for kids (aside from 1 week of scout camp he thinks the kids should just "find something to do.") I don't put them in camps all summer but I do take them places, mostly free, but occasionally there is a fee for a water park or something. And then he complains it is unnecessary. He thinks I'm "making work" for myself and creating unnecessary expenses (we can easily afford the things I do with the kids).

I feel like he's constantly adding to my "To Do List" because I'm cleaning up behind him and finishing what he leaves undone, while he spends developing new skills and on his hobbies. I have no free time because he leaves things undone or refuses to do anything and says if I care so much its on me to do something. I'm so frustrated. And now I have to figure out this car dent too, or drive around a banged-up car.