Anonymous wrote:I wish I *were* chill.

NP. I find this interesting, because "were" is used to denote something that cannot be changed. I wish something was possible, when in reality it is set and cannot be changed. "Was" denotes the possibility of change. I wish I was chill leaves the possibility open that one can one day become chill. Which goes to the very heart of the discussion.

Signed, Another Type A, not chill person

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Life is too short to change who you are.

It’s shorter for people who aren’t chill. All that stress is bad for the body.

Anonymous wrote:I am just an uptight person and I don't think I'll ever be anything different. I can tell it annoys other people (or even just amuses them) sometimes, and keeps them from liking me more. Heck, it annoys me. I want to be more go with the flow but I just cannot. I have done therapy, taken SSRIs for anxiety, I do yoga and exercise, I even meditate. All this stuff helps but it doesn't change my personality. Even when my anxiety is in check, I'm still just more uptight than other people.

Not really asking a question here, just venting. I envy those of you who are just chill and easy going and don't feel like you have to be hyper vigilant about everything all the time. I wish I was not alway working through my anxious feelings (even successfully) and that instead I just... didn't get them. But I'm nearing 50 and I've always been this way. I guess it's just who I am.

It’s going to get worse. And yes, it’s annoying and sometimes amusing. But ultimately, we chill folk don’t really care if you stew.

I feel you OP! Also 50 with zero chill.

One thing I am trying to do is carve out more time for total relaxation where I mentally disconnect from all responsibilities and do something restorative. I’m good at doing that for vacations but it is harder to do on a daily basis.

I also think a big dose of acceptance and reframing helps a lot. Acceptance that I will always have no-chill periods. Reframing in that I work on noticing that stress and anxiety come and go, and I am not actually stressed all the time.

One thing that I have been working on for any strong emotion is just letting myself feel it. Often times I discover that there is a *different* feeling underneath it, and in that feeling lies the actual truth. For example my kid is in the middle of high school applications and I got really stressed and upset about potential rejection. So I just let myself feel that for a while and realized that underneath it were two things: enormous, infinite love for my kid; and powerful mama bear energy. Somehow that made the anxiety easier to bear. I would start thinking or worrying about the applications, then I would say “Oh right, I really love Larlo so much! And I’m his mama bear.” Then the discomfort would slip away.

Anonymous wrote:This is interesting to me. I'm chill. Type B, never ruffled, don't see what the big deal is 90% of the time. I have some friends & family members who are my direct opposite, and I appreciate what they bring to the table. I'm envious of them at times. They are really good in tough situations, because they are prepared. They knew this would happen, and they made a plan, etc. Being a chill person means I am surprised most of the time, because I really don't give much thought to things. And it's fine, I'll figure it out, but I love how my not chill people are like "oh, right, I figured this would happen so I have xyz"

I think we're all envious of others - the grass is always greener. I guess I think you should not try to fight your natural inclination, but accept and embrace it. Whatever you are, like being "not chill" - that's the talent you were given. Roll with it!

Xox. I am type A and LOVE my type B friends. Type A introvert and Type B extrovert are the best friend combo magic. I am always where when B needs someone to talk to, and B has a million other things to do when I need down time. I can just show up at Bs house whenever and she doesn’t care; then I host and plan something really cool and involved for B to do at my house and she loves it.

I am similar. Like you therapy and meditation helped. Xanax helps in very stressful situations. I have a few mantras (that does not belong to me, this too shall pass, I am a capable woman who can figure it out….). Daily life exercise and getting outside no matter the weather helps. Reading books (hard cover or paperback) that are not too stressful helps. Watching a favorite movie or tv show helps.

What helps me the most is an hour long swim/deep water aerobic class with a hot shower after. It just relaxes me the most.

Taking the edges off helps, but you are right we cannot change who we are- nor should we.

I wish I *were* chill.

OP, yesterday I went out to lunch and we changed tables THREE TIMES until I was content. I've never been quite this bad, but still. So, right there with you. Something that helps people not be too annoyed is to make fun of yourself for it and/or make jokes about it. I texted my lunch date later and thanked him for playing a rousing game of musical chairs at lunch with me.

Also, I try to let myself be as uptight as I want with things that only affect me, and then let things slide when they affect others. So my bag is organized EXACTLY how I want it, and I know where everything is. My sock drawer is divided by type of sock. But if I go to a movie with a friend and they want to sit in the middle while I'd rather sit in the back, I sit in the middle. Or if we get a snack and they want to eat at the tables outside and I was thinking we'd eat inside, I just eat outside. Let go of what you can, even if you see the logic in doing it your way.

This is interesting to me. I'm chill. Type B, never ruffled, don't see what the big deal is 90% of the time. I have some friends & family members who are my direct opposite, and I appreciate what they bring to the table. I'm envious of them at times. They are really good in tough situations, because they are prepared. They knew this would happen, and they made a plan, etc. Being a chill person means I am surprised most of the time, because I really don't give much thought to things. And it's fine, I'll figure it out, but I love how my not chill people are like "oh, right, I figured this would happen so I have xyz"

I think we're all envious of others - the grass is always greener. I guess I think you should not try to fight your natural inclination, but accept and embrace it. Whatever you are, like being "not chill" - that's the talent you were given. Roll with it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything that enters your brain doesn’t need to come out of your mouth.

Think it don’t say it.

Why didn't you keep this one inside your brain, friend?

You all are like bunch of alcoholic encouraging each other to drink,

It’s fine be annoying.

🍷🍷🍷
3 glasses in, baby.

Clearly! And a light weight at that,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything that enters your brain doesn’t need to come out of your mouth.

Think it don’t say it.

Why didn't you keep this one inside your brain, friend?

You all are like bunch of alcoholic encouraging each other to drink,

It’s fine be annoying.

🍷🍷🍷
3 glasses in, baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything that enters your brain doesn’t need to come out of your mouth.

Think it don’t say it.

Why didn't you keep this one inside your brain, friend?

LOL. This cracked me up, so thanks. OP, I say embrace who you are. If you feel yourself overreacting to situations, that's a different story and probably something you can work on. But this is really how you're wired. Everyone has things about themselves that they don't like. I think it's more productive and makes for a happier life to capitalize on your strengths and run with them.

Signed,
Another Type A-er

You can be Type A AND chill. Those aren’t mutually exclusive.

They aren’t chill. They are just encouraging each other to be annoying. Wild.

Op, you can fix this it’s not that complicated.

Yes, I can relate, wish I can shut up already!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything that enters your brain doesn’t need to come out of your mouth.

Think it don’t say it.

Why didn't you keep this one inside your brain, friend?

You all are like bunch of alcoholic encouraging each other to drink,

It’s fine be annoying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything that enters your brain doesn’t need to come out of your mouth.

Think it don’t say it.

Why didn't you keep this one inside your brain, friend?

LOL. This cracked me up, so thanks. OP, I say embrace who you are. If you feel yourself overreacting to situations, that's a different story and probably something you can work on. But this is really how you're wired. Everyone has things about themselves that they don't like. I think it's more productive and makes for a happier life to capitalize on your strengths and run with them.

Signed,
Another Type A-er

You can be Type A AND chill. Those aren’t mutually exclusive.