Anonymous wrote:Join a church group or find a group that tends to attract kind people. Start there.

At the end of the day, I think the happiest people are introverts who realize they are in control of their own happiness and don’t rely on others to entertain them or lift their spirits.

BS. Everyone needs others. Some people complain here are probably introverts who still need support and empathy in trying times. No one is talking about entertainment here. Extroverts can very easily find entertainment. Emotional support in time of need is what is hard to find for both introverts and extroverts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

I'm realizing this as I approach 50....most humans do suck. It's been a few years for me. I'm trying to figure out what to do myself to take make myself happy. I think sometimes we give so much to others and we burn out and are hurt when we see that they are not there when we need them. I can tell mine is not the depression that medicine will help. I just need to figure out what's next and how to smile in spite of it all. The state of our world also is a lot to handle right now.

Try to reframe " humans suck" to " humans are ...human." Lower your expectations and redefine your relationships to reflect lower expectations. I have had to do this a few times, and it works better for me than the 'humans suck' mentality. I still have sad moments when I think of what could have been, but those moments are now few and far between.

On the other hand, you can become a fighter. I have a relative who is always fighting everyone regarding unmet expectations. She gets treated better than everyone else. People show up more for her in every aspect of her life. It is too much work. I'd rather lower my expectations and reframe, but that's another way to go about it if you have the stamina.

Join a church group or find a group that tends to attract kind people. Start there.

At the end of the day, I think the happiest people are introverts who realize they are in control of their own happiness and don’t rely on others to entertain them or lift their spirits.

Anonymous wrote:Many people are like this.
They will only call / text you if they need something or have something to ask that is of their benefit. Not to just have a conversation with you.
They put you in their “as needed “ pile.
It hurts but it is indeed true.
I have scaled back my interactions with them but it’s hard and it’s hurtful.

I've been hurt and felt this, but have also recognized times when I could have been described in this way by others. I have what I consider legitimate excuses in those cases, but I'm sure others do too. Its a reminder to be more thoughtful about others but I agree with the poster who said to use this as an opportunity to hone your discernment and view how new acquaintances treat and talk about others. If it makes you uncomfortable, know there is a good chance of ending up on the receiving end.

Anonymous wrote:You need stronger SSRIs.

Medicine is not always the answer.

Anonymous wrote:Many people are like this.
They will only call / text you if they need something or have something to ask that is of their benefit. Not to just have a conversation with you.
They put you in their “as needed “ pile.
It hurts but it is indeed true.
I have scaled back my interactions with them but it’s hard and it’s hurtful.

This. I have also given less time to those who call only to talk about their life. A conversation/friendship is a two way street.

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

I'm realizing this as I approach 50....most humans do suck. It's been a few years for me. I'm trying to figure out what to do myself to take make myself happy. I think sometimes we give so much to others and we burn out and are hurt when we see that they are not there when we need them. I can tell mine is not the depression that medicine will help. I just need to figure out what's next and how to smile in spite of it all. The state of our world also is a lot to handle right now.

You need stronger SSRIs.

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

I don't think that's true. Do all people suck sometimes? Yes.

OP -- you generally find what you seek. I will also say that with the Epstein files and this admin it's A LOT right now.

Be kind to yourself. Look for the helpers -- they're out there.

Awww, so sorry to hear this all OP. 💔

Depression is very traumatic in nature and my heart truly goes out to you during this very difficult period.

It is great that you are seeing a therapist - - are you also on an antidepressant?
Because medication along w/talk therapy are the ultimate recipe for overcoming your situation.

Hugs to you!

I have felt like this a few times in my life, the most recent was discovering I was being betrayed by my wife.
Besides a therapist I’m kind of isolated with this pain because I don’t feel like disclosing it to the relatively small friend group I already have.

What has made me feel so much better is giving my time to others, I volunteer at an animal shelter and a homeless shelter, I am surrounded by people on a mission and people on a mission seem to have more capacity. When you’re dealing with people who have a wider view of the world you find people who are emotionally real from the get-go.
I know how you feel, you’re looking for depth, people a mission don’t waste time talking about the weather and traffic- go join them.

Well your world view has matured which is helpful. It sounds like you need a new dose of SSRIs if you are on them.

Antidepressants, exercise, and gratitude are what helped me. For my first major depression in my 20s I did cognitive behavioral therapy and that was actually very helpful at the time. I use those tools for anxiety now, and they can help some with depression. But honestly forcing myself to exercise has been the best over the years. The endorphins are great, plus I like feeling strong and capable in my body - which means something way different now at 50 than it did at 30! But that feeling of “I did that!” Even after going for a long brisk walk, really gives me a sense of independence and confidence.

When DH and I separated a few years ago I really focused on what kind of parent I wanted to be for my kids and that helped me get motivated to keep moving my body. I also really leaned into being angry, which is not a good approach in the long run but for the short term it was helpful in that it gave me energy to get things done.

Gratitude practice is really helpful as well for reframing your outlook. Sometimes it’s just “I’m thankful for the bed I’m lying in. I’m thankful for these sheets and this blanket.” I have a tendency to overlook or take for granted what I have and focus too much on on what I don’t have. Focusing every day on gratitude really helps with that. I try to do 3 things every day but it varies.

Many people are like this.
They will only call / text you if they need something or have something to ask that is of their benefit. Not to just have a conversation with you.
They put you in their “as needed “ pile.
It hurts but it is indeed true.
I have scaled back my interactions with them but it’s hard and it’s hurtful.

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

"you can use it as a tool." How?