Anonymous wrote:I think this is best applied to middle school years. When you've known your classmates since you were 4-5 and have been a small group for years, there's not much interest in dating. Plus, there's recess in grades 6-8. And being in the same building with k-5 keeps you a little innocent. I loved when the big kids got to read with their buddies and when they sat with them at mass.

Then there's the lack of vaping, swearing and talking back. Not saying that's rampant elsewhere, but it's nonexistent at most small catholic k-8s.

This is also said with some smugness from some parents because they hold off on phones way longer and control social media/screen time. But I don't know how true that is anymore. Seems our catholic k-8 younger families aren't keeping the same line on that.

Anonymous wrote:We made the switch to private in 2nd grade, so DS had plenty of time in our public. When he was in K and 1st, he was already worrying about being embarrassed by parents or shoes, on screens for much of the day, and constantly asking about video games, Switch, and Minecraft sweatshirts. In private and he never mentions video games or wanting screen time, they do worksheets and math problems at school, and there isn't any preoccupation with being cool vs embarrassed. The other day I wrote a cute note in his lunch, which he never would have dared do in 1st grade at the public, because he would have been teased. In private he is much more open and seemingly in touch with his feelings, and comfortable to say he loves us, his friends are kind, etc. He's also way better at just playing and puttering around. Apparently at recess all the boys play made up games and run sports drills, so he now does that at home.

I know this isn't true of all kids, but my kid is very very affected by the environment he is in. I've seen a big shift.

Anonymous wrote:We made the switch to private in 2nd grade, so DS had plenty of time in our public. When he was in K and 1st, he was already worrying about being embarrassed by parents or shoes, on screens for much of the day, and constantly asking about video games, Switch, and Minecraft sweatshirts. In private and he never mentions video games or wanting screen time, they do worksheets and math problems at school, and there isn't any preoccupation with being cool vs embarrassed. The other day I wrote a cute note in his lunch, which he never would have dared do in 1st grade at the public, because he would have been teased. In private he is much more open and seemingly in touch with his feelings, and comfortable to say he loves us, his friends are kind, etc. He's also way better at just playing and puttering around. Apparently at recess all the boys play made up games and run sports drills, so he now does that at home.

I know this isn't true of all kids, but my kid is very very affected by the environment he is in. I've seen a big shift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dont worry they speed right on up in 9th grade when the drugs/drinking start.

Boy, that was my experience as a kid. I went to a small Catholic school in Madison, WI (which is a bit different than the east coast, no uniforms, minimal religion that I can recall) and through 8th grade I don't think anyone in my class had kissed another kid, gotten drunk, or done drugs (except one kid who got hemp hard candies and said they were making him high - in hindsight I don't think they had THC).

Anyway, I moved away after 8th grade and went back to visit the next year and shadowed a friend at the high school (same school and campus, mind you) and was gobsmacked. It's like all those things hit hard all at once. Very jarring for me to see that change without the progression over 10 months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think this is about play. In public schools, kids loose access to recess early on. In privates, kids have a chance to learn through play, have more chances to move their bodies, more P.E., and classrooms set up for them to engage in learning in different ways. When we toured a public school kindergarten class, we were surprised with how few toys were there and how little time kids had to exercise.

It is about that for little kids. But for tweens, it's about not exposing them to things that are more appropriate for high schoolers-- basically sexuality in appearance and in media. Sometimes for religious reasons, sometimes not. Personally I do think it's nice to keep that stuff to a minimum-- you have your whole life to be an adult and think about adult things, and it's nice at 12 or 13 to still be a bit sheltered from dating and kissing and everything else.

Anonymous wrote:I actually think this is about play. In public schools, kids loose access to recess early on. In privates, kids have a chance to learn through play, have more chances to move their bodies, more P.E., and classrooms set up for them to engage in learning in different ways. When we toured a public school kindergarten class, we were surprised with how few toys were there and how little time kids had to exercise.

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of like "we don't teach to the test"-- best case scenario is that it's a good thing, worst case scenario is that it's cope to explain why the kids don't score well.

It's also something parents say when they feel their kid needs a lower pressure setting. Sometimes they just like that for philosophical or cultural reasons, other times it's because of special needs, other times it's because they are in denial of special needs and want to stay in denial.